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"Missing White Woman Syndrome"
"Missing White Woman Syndrome" is a horrible affliction suffered by old media. Whenever a stupid white woman goes missing the media makes sure everybody knows about it and make it the story of the week. Unfortunately, most missing white women are found alive and in good health.
However, if anyone unattractive, male, or black goes missing the media doesn't care at all. It is nearly impossible to get any television coverage for any of these people no matter what social class they come from. Some argue this is because women and white people are just plain better than everyone else, a fact which has
yet to be disproven men have a higher IQ. Others believe that nobody notices missing black people ho's and wetbacks simply because their absence has no negative consequences, due to the fact that they didn't contribute to society in the first place.
Using the expression "Missing White Woman Syndrome" is a good way to instantly establish oneself as media savvy. If someone points out that the "woman" in question was actually a one year baby, cut them down by pointing out, with a knowing look, that if the baby were black everyone would just assume she was a crack whore who had been asking for it.
- Anything going less than perfect in the war that might warrant a distraction so that people don't figure out how fucked it is
- The collective societal fetish (especially among Americunts) for weak white bitches in peril
- Anything more important happening in the world at all
Including, but not limited to:
- Tabloids have full-front page picture with ALLCAPS words "MISSING"
- Interviews with stupid relatives
- "Experts" guessing where she be at
- Overdramatization of the whole event
- Ignoring much cooler news stories
In a fit of zOMG people will often try to burn you at the stake if you haven't:
- Donated money to finding the missing woman
- Posted a picture of the missing woman in MySpace (because MySpace people leave their bedroom so much they might see the missing woman on the street!)
- Added your name to a chain-mail no one will ever read
Include, but are not limited to:
- Shannon Matthews
- Madeleine McCann
- The Runaway Bride (AKA the Hypnotoad)
- Elizabeth Smart
- Natalee Holloway
- Rachel Bruno
- Sandra Cantu
- Jessica Lynch
- Casey Anthony