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16-year-old girl is a term used as a sweeping reference to all teenage girls on the Internet. In fact, most 16-year-old girls are 13 or younger, distinguished by their juvenile gossip, teen angst, their inability to say a sentence without the word like every second word, extreme fetish for any shit band, excitement and obsession over pop culture, being obsessively compulsive, and incoherent posting using strange expressions, unusual typing styles to burn their text into your retina. They are also a known producer of anti-lulz, the disease that causes AIDS and a whole slew of other virile venereal diseases that have the great potential to wipe out the entire human race. It should be mentioned that the term is in direct conflict with the rules of the internet, which state that there are no girls on the internet; this means that 99.9% of them are really men with easily-ræped bodies, with a dong hidden somewhere in their underwear.
Sixteen-year-old girls represent some 90 percent of the teen population and are ubiquitous on the Internets. They typically have numerous journals or blogs, and specialize in creating fan signs and tumblr whoreage. It's easy to confuse them with fifteen-year-old girls, who are . 16 year old girls are also the largest known source of fail in the universe. No exceptions.
PROTIP for Forum Administrators: If you invite one 16-year-old girl to your forum, she will invite all her stupid friends to come too, because, like, oh my god, oh em gee, this place is so CUTE!!! This technique must only be used in emergencies, since it will either make your forum almost as n00bish as OtakuWorks, or turn it into the next MySpace before 2014. 16 year old girls are also the most hated race of people on the earth.
Sixteen-year-old girls have a tendency to call you late at night to talk about stupid shit thinking that they're convincing you of how intellectual they are. As part of their irrational desire to attract older men, even the ones in special-education programs will try to convince you that they're really mature for their age. They also love cock in their often loose hallway vaginae. It is known that they prefer Hammers of Dawn belonging to nigras. Sitting through this is like stabbing your dick repeatedly, which cancels out the subsequent, albeit dubious benefits of acquiring over 9000 MySpace friends. But you'll still listen to this shit because you're friend-zoned by Ms. Mary Rottencrotch, you beta fuck.
16 year old girls V 1.0
Most sixteen-year-old girls give themselves away by producing a never-ending stream of mallcore tripe about subjects like sXe, shit bands, trying miserably for the attentions of bois that ignore them (see tumblr), and Jesus. A high proportion of this sort of posting combined with huge numbers of camwhore pics is at least 100% accurate at predicting the presence of a 16-year-old girl. Some specimens, however, take on a coy persona. They may make their journals and Facebook pictures friends only, but these coquettish underage vixens can nonetheless be identified using the following probability chart:
|16 year old girl identification chart|
|Site or journal in tiny font nearly the same color as the background||90% probable|
|Site or journal layout includes text like "1024x768. internet explorer. css. frames. respect for what's mine."
|Site or journal layout includes the cropped corner of an internet disease photo or a photo of celebrities, overlaid with fancy script fonts, spraypaint brushes, and/or small stars or ghey sparkles||97% probable|
|If the site or journal layout changes your mouse pointers from the default to something retarded||100% probable|
In a less virtual capacity, signs to spot 16-year-old girls are: a constant need to hug each other, a constant need to hug some fat faggot no one likes, a constant need to defend a fat faggot no one likes when attacked, speaking at an incomprehensible speed, laughing at something that's rude at a high decibel level e.g. OH MY GOD YOU JUST SAID WILLY! TATS FUNNY LOL.
The only breed of a 16 year old girl: Tumblr-ific!
The only lasting breed of 16 year old girls on the internet, This new breed is 40% indie (and trying to pretend they don't listen to Skrillex and Deadmau5), 30% deformed, 20% retard, and 10% unrealistic expectations wrapped together with the same desperate whoring that is the fiber of 16 year old girls. Expect these girls to have a Tumblr in which they spam pro-ana photography of girls they so desperately wish to be, post the most recent indie (overrated) tunes such as LMFAO, MGMT, Arcade Fire and Sigur Ros, and love weed because they're progressive and liberal. They also claim to love reading despite only reading The Hunger Games and whore on about how Twilight is better than Harry Potter and Joseph Gorden Levitt is better than Robert Pattison. The majority of what comes out of the mouths include whining about getting a new job, looking for that special someone and telling people about what they ate today.
First, they'll tell you how much they love the pointless, pretentious, nonsensical, and edgy mind-fuck movie they just watched. They'll also bring up whatever the current shitty videos are on JewTube. Then they'll try to discuss philosophy without having ever studied philosophy which pretty much boils down to: "I'm selfish, impatient, and insecure. I make mistakes. I am out of control, and at times hard to handle, but if you can't handle me at my worst, then you don't deserve me at my best." Extremely vulnerable and stupid, pretending to be an EDGY XD hipster boy who plays in a band and likes the same shitty music is the easiest way to squeeze out nudes from these chicks. Be warned, at least 100% are average and deformed.
- It is in this age that they are most likely to become BI
- Every man in existence has masturbated to the fantasy of raping a 16-year-old-girl at least twice and is fighting the good fight.
- In Uganda, or another of those shitty countries, hitting a 16-year-old-girl awards you a medal for bravery in the struggle against AIDS.
- LHC kills 16-year-old-girls
- 16 year old girls take everything awesome and give it tons of teen angst and emo eyeliner, therefore diluting or destroying the awesomeness
- They actually want it in the ass.
- When you troll a 16 year old girl, she will flail her angst and rage at you until you give her praise.
- They will make you hate Dylan Thomas' "Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night" because they feel the need to scream the lines with the word "RAGE" in them when asked to recite the poem and make you wish your parents had a gun you could have stolen for this torture fest.
- Create a sockpuppet at Facebook and spy on them.
- Rip a picture of a teenaged girl from the Wikimedia Commons or some other perverted place for use as your default profile picture.
- Claim to be homeschooled. That will explain why the bitches you troll don't know who the fuck you are.
- Find a group of high school cheerleaders or some similar group of girls tagged in a picture; almost every high school cheerleading squad is camwhored somewhere on Facebook with all the members tagged.
- Write messages to each and every one of the cheerleaders calling them cunts and accuse them of something stupid like trying to steal your boyfriend from them, and criticize cheerleaders in general.
- When one of them bites, argue with them. They'll almost certainly say that you're wrong. Reply to their rebuttals with yet more obscenities and accusations.
- When they block you, make another sockpuppet and tell them they can't hide from you, and tell them how stupid they are for feeding trolls.
- Have popcorn and kind of visualize the drama you're causing for some poor little spoiled brat in some other state/province, or even some other country. Who knows, you might have even made her cry!
- Make sure and let them know that they have awesome pics. Great size. Look thick. Solid. Tight. Keep us all posted on your continued progress with any new progress pics or vid clips. Show us what you got man. Wanna see how freakin' huge, solid, thick and tight you can get. Thanks for the motivation.
- One last thing, don't be an idiot and do this to the neighbor's kid or to anybody that might be able to easily figure out who's behind it. Do it to somebody that's several states away to make it as hard as possible to trace, since cops take donuts seriously and will do anything to protect the 16-year-old girls that staff the local Dunkin Donuts. What may be considered petty when the victim is anybody else is a serious crime when it affects the perky little girl that gives them their donuts for free.
- If she posts something on Facebook of how depressed she is, simply tell her to go kill herself
16 year old girls V 2.0: Electric Boogaloo
So far, there has been one species of 16-year-old girl discovered: The Common Red-Breasted 16-Year-Old. This breed is indigenous to most parts of the world except, naturally, Africa, Iraq and China, where any woman that dares open her mouth is instantly dealt with. The MySpace of the Common Red-Breast is usually a one or two word variation of the following:
How long can you go without kicking her in the cunt? Not long, I'm sure. How about this one?
Oooh boy. Think it can't get worse? How about this one right here?
- Tease Pics
- 12-year-old girls
- 13-year-old boy
- 16-year-old Japanese schoolgirl
- 16-year-old rape victim needs help
- bitches and whores
- I TOUCHED HIS PENIS!! OMG
- IDK, my BFF Jill?
- I'm like so cool i have big sunglasses. - Bebo-trolls unite
- Teenage girls so, like, rule English
- SO I HERD U LIEK FACES ^_^
- OMG Yahoo!
- Dolliecrave.com - Source for 100% of 16-year-old girl avatars and MySpace layouts. Warning:
mightwill make you want to tear your eyes out
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