Big Brother

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The Original Big Brother
Nope. This is the original. So now you know.
All thoughts and no support makes johnny an enemy of the state.

Taken from the novel 1984 by George Orwell, Big Brother is the all-seeing, all-knowing and supposedly benevolent figurehead of the totalitarian regime governing Oceania. Nowadays, the term Big Brother is applied to the United States government and Great Britain because they are supposedly watching us all the time. It is also used liberally whenever anyone, anywhere mentions technology.

Summary[edit]

Written in 1949 by George Orwell, Nineteen-Eighty-Four tells the story of an overpopulated society where humans eat a delicious treat called Soylent Green. In this totalitarian utopia, everyone is watched by an entity called Big Brother. The sheep population is reminded of this fact by ubiquitous propaganda posters displaying the catch-phrase "Big Brother is watching you". The protagonist, a proud worker of the Ministry of Truth, has sex with a lot of women, reads an imaginary rambling book by a Jew, drinks a wine and a coffee, and is therefore tortured by a government agent named Conan O'Brien. In the image to the right, you can see the female who liberates us all from the evil that is Conan O'Brien. 1984 wasn't written as an instruction manual. This is something David Cameron needs to learn. American liberals love to make analogies to this book all the time, because America is such a totalitarian state where you can be imprisoned for even thinking anything bad about the government. (Give it time though.) You may notice that "84" is "48" reversed. This is purely coincidental and in no way relates to the Jewish conspiracy. As we all know, 1984 in reality was exactly as depicted in the book. George Orwell is a fucking genius; we should just call him George ORACLE or something, amirite? George Orwell totally intended for his book to be read by high school freshmen and teachers who work for a government-funded organization. There is no irony in a teacher who doesn't understand the history that the book is using as context.

Liberals like to compare George W. Bush to Big Brother, but that's bullshit. Bush is too stupid to be as powerful and all-seeing as Big Brother, and besides, Big Brother was supposed to be benevolent.

Television show[edit]

Big Brother television show in Germany

More importantly, Big Brother is a reality television show based on the life and death of L. Ron Hubbard. A bunch of no-life dickheads volunteer to live in a house and be taped 24/7 doing embarrassing things such as taking it in the ass and raping each other. Contrary to popular belief, the show's inhabitants are genuine human beings. This fact, however, remains in dispute. Everyone from the past series' of the show are now either dead or working as internet pedophile basement dwellers pretending to be 16 year old girls.

In the 2006 season of Aussie Big Brother, a slutty whore went over to the bed of two men. Whilst on it, they held her down and one member slapped her in the face with his penis. The "Turkey Slapping" incident caused a huge uproar across the state and the Prime Minister John Howard (the one who takes it up the ass from George Bush) asked for the show to be removed.

Big Brother was let off on a technicality; the incident was shown on the 24/7 live cameras on the BB website, and everybody knows there aren't many laws for internet stuff. Except pedophilia and possibly rape porn. All in all, the only people who saw it were a bunch of weirdo freak losers who just happened to be watching a shitty mindless show at 2AM.

Big Brother (US)[edit]

In Dumbfuckistan, the show is extremely popular with cat ladies and 16 year old girls. Ever since 2014 when Frankie Grande appeared on the show to cater to the Jailbait, the show has become a prime example of what happens when white trash get hungry for some cool, hard, cash. The show has starred such classy beings like Paulie Calafiore, a misogynistic wop who pees on himself, and Zach Rance, a Jew who got caught Last Thursday molesting high school girls.

UK 2007 Celebrity BB[edit]

In the UK 2007 celebrity BB, the Sky news group everybody in the UK accused a disgusting, fat, hideously un-classy beast (a.k.a Jade Goody) of racism against an Indian (Shilpa Shetty) which reached international news status and had the British Prime Minister apologise to the Indian Prime Minister. Incidentally, as of 2009, Jade "Cocksucking" Goody is dying of terminal cancer.|

The rest of the country found themselves in a moral dilemma: Who should get the brunt of their hatred? The terminally (ill) uneducated Jade Goody, or the hawt (but foreign) Shilpa Shetty. The answer proved that the British are far more snobby than they will ever be racist (as long as the foreigner has good tits).

However, in India, a woman carrying a child of mixed nationality would be burnt alive by the parents should they find out.

Please, while you're there in Europe, point out that the English are now so politically correct that they will not even protect themselves against being falsely accused of racism, just in case it could be seen as racism. However, since the three making the "racist" remarks were fat, transgendered and a Miss England, the media were looking for an excuse to ruin their careers and get even moar money from their "exclusive stories" and lulz.

Big Brother Africa[edit]

THIS IS AFRICAAAA!

Australian Big Brother[edit]

As of at least 100 years ago, Australia stole Big Brother. Some whore got turkey slapped one time, and people lolled. The bitch was asking for it, this was Josef Fritzl's idea. Originally he was going to write in his daughter and himself but got rejected when 10 found out that he was not making it a mudkip. She also got compensation after the show ended , the 2 guys raped her and she finally got what she wanted. Last Thursday, Corey Faggoton has decided to join Big Brother Australia. This was like dropping EFG in a Faggot's house. He got assraped by the crowd, booing until the faggot left the compound. Noone has yet to kill him. On the 21st of July 2008 this fucking shitty show was finally axed as the show had shit ratings Big Brothel Australia returned to TV screens Straya-wide mid-2012, this time on Channel Nine and the 2013 season launched on the 29th of July. Of course it's still being filmed at Dreamworld theme park in Coomera (moar liek Coonera) on the Gold Coast, Queensland so if you're wanting to attend the live eviction, nomination and Big Brother Showdown broadcasts, be prepared to hike through a mountain of vomit from snot-nosed 12 year olds who couldn't handle The Tower of Terror when you get there and protect your anus from arsehole security guards.

الرئيس[edit]

They tried to do a Big Brother in Arabia, but because the show had men and women together it got banned. The muslims are scum.[1]

Dead Set[edit]

Dead set is basically a movie set in the big brother house. it was split into 5 different parts, spawning 1 week. the characters include 2 stupid blondes who think lights are trees, and some asshole who ends up killing them all. the others include this girl who shags some guy for lulz- Her boyfriend also is stranded in the middle of no where and then gets shot by the asshole. a pervert who no one likes, and a fat black person who dies because of some other idiot who fucks one of the blondes.

See also[edit]

External Links[edit]

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