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2009 has been yet another banner year that has blessed us with some of the more notable internet happenings that you have come to expect from this wonderful medium that we choose to exploit and use. The usual gang of internet nerds, retards, and angry mobsters have outdone themselves once again and have made 2009 an unexpectedly grand year in lulz. Folks like crusader cat have offered us a chance to brighten our days with laughter, while memes such as Zalgo have given us a pause where we might reflect upon the fact that this internet thing is quite silly, and finally, the Dan Lirette story taught us that babies only die when you kick them in the head.
But that's not all—2009 showed us the softer side of the internet as well. Heartwarming tales such as Kenny Glenn, Cheyenne Cherry, Camille Marino, DracoGuard, and Esachasa displayed mankind's ever-open heart, sympathy, and his ability to show compassion for his fellow animals.
And that's not all! Encyclopedia Dramatica also showcased several misfortunes that senselessly deprived us of our beloved entertainers. Massive buttgrief and sorrow was expended upon the deaths of Farrah Fawcett, Michael Jackson, Billy Mays, Patrick Swayze, and Ted Kennedy.
There have been some good irl trolls as well, the biggest being Tony48219, but let's not forget the most spectacular troll of all: the fact that Encyclopedia Dramatica turned 5 this year despite all of its detractors, skeptics, haters, and doubters. During the festivities P-p-p-powerbook! won the contest for best article ever, upsetting Chris-chan. And on top of all of this internet hoopla, ED got its own forum, which would make it a tradition to destroy itself once a week.
Once again, the most important thing to know before reading this article is that Fred Bauder cannot practice law in the state of Colorado due to soliciting a client's wife for prostitution.
EDiots look back on 2009.
Need a recap of what happened last year? We've got you covered.
- Agent Pubeit covers himself in pubic hair.
- Boxxy takes over the Internets.
- EXTREME ANIMALS becomes known.
- Faggot Bruce YouTube career starts.
- Jett Travolta dies.
- Mark Gormley teaches us all about the powerstance.
- Nancy Pelosi does a rickroll.
- Rod Blagojevich gets impeached and removed from being the governor of Illinois.
- The Dangerous Pictures Act comes into force on the 26th of this month; bricks are shat by many Britfags.
- Dan144x becomes known.
- ED is upgraded from Web 1.0 to Web 2.5. The entire site was-read only for about 1 day.
- God Hates Fags is banned from the U.K.
- Kenny Glenn is doxed and arrested for abusing a cat.
- Octomom is born; a website that begs for money.
- Superbowl XXX occured. A Comcast employee decided that the game could use an "additive" to spice it up. Can you guess what it was?
- Tabula Rasa is shut down.
- Travis the Killer Chimp becomes known.
- Vince Offer beats up a hooker in Miami for trying to bite his tongue out.
- Xzibit throws a tantrum on Twitter.
- Brittany Holechko becomes known after crying on Skype.
- Egg Girl, /b/'s newest camwhore, becomes known. She posts eggs instead of her tits.
- Get On IRC Fgt meme is born; ED opens up the "kiddie pool" on the ED IRC server.
- Girugamesh is born.
- Jade Goody dies.
- John Katehis becomes known.
- Josef Fritzl is sentenced to life in prison.
- Louise Ogborn becomes known after a security-cam video of her sucking cock in McDonalds surfaces on 4chan.
- PIFTS.EXE becomes known; many Norton product users have been discovering a file called
Norton_PIFTS 3-9-2009 19h29m27s.txtsitting in their computer's
- Space Bat becomes known.
- Watchmen is released.
- Angry Homo Kid becomes known.
- Columbine's 10th anniversary.
- Dick Neck becomes known.
- Pig Flu becomes known. Like AIDS, the Pig Flu was probably invented by the Jewish Secret Service to scare you.
- The Hipster Grifter becomes known.
- The R Word is a thing these days. Both online and IRL.
- This is the second notice that the factory warranty on your vehicle is expiring becomes known; /b/ decides to wage war against those annoying telemarketers.
- Tony48219 ( ) kills fellow YouTuber after an e-argument.
- Tubcat dies.
- Zalgo i̦̼̻ͣͥ̕s̤͚̺̻̻̮̭̆ ͤ̂҉͚̭̪̘̣͍̙c̴͙̃̐ͣͨ̈́ô͍͈̜̣̺̎̃͌́ͅͅm͈̭͔̦̮̩͇̓̒̅̒̽͞iͦ̀n̲͈̝̹̺͕ͮğͯ͂ͫ ̫̭ͩ͠t̲̻̳̗͑o͆͑͌̿̔ ͟r͍̦͎̳͇͈̱̆̔ͦ̊ͭ͗̌u̼͒ͫ́̾̐ͨ͠i̥̩͙̖ͣͫ̂̄͛͌͘ṉ̬̀̌ͤͥ̓̍̑͜ ̥̥̠̦͇̹ͨ͛ͨ͗y͕̝̫͓̭͈͒ͨ̅͛̔ͅo̱̝̟̼̺̻ͨͨ͗̌͝u̙̜ͬͪr͙̗̪̟͔̞̭͒ ͇͕̬̝̃̓͒̏̽͘ͅͅt̨̹̟͍̫e̫̲̯̒ẍ̪͖̑́̓̏t̺̹ͪͯ̉ͮ̎s͌ͬ̓̃ ̟ͯͨ̃̀ͬ̚̚̕a̟̞͚̮̻ͮ̿́̋̅̂̚͢n͉̈́d͎͉́̇ͯ̊ͣ͗ ̡̝̘̯͙͚͍̔͊̈̍ͨb̹̱͈̦͓̲͒ͩͤ̆ͭͯ̆l̔a̅ͣ͝cͣ̄ͭk̠̞ę̝̖̫̦̗͛́͂̉ṋ̥̓̀ ̗̱͎͕̉̅̂̀ͩ͒ͫu͙͖̱͚ͥ̉̓̓́́p̠̖̜̺̳͓̄ ̗͈̩̪̲͂̽͌͐͒͜y͚ͫͨ͗ͤo͚̜uͨ҉̻͉̫͉̬͚̯r̭̩̫͉̘ͪ̈́̃̀̋̈́́̚ ͮͤ͌̿ͬ̊̕p͈̥̰̖͒̍̊̉i̷̐̍͊̈̀̾́c̢͉̣͈͎̤s̳̤̱̲̜͍̍ͮͥ̚͡.̴͎̻͎̮͔́
- ED is mentioned in a leaked government document "2009 Virginia Terrorism Threat Assessment" (on Slashdot).
- Creepy Chan gains notoriety.
- Dreamwidth is born.
- Mattmurderface attempts to take down ED.
- Operation YouTube is executed; several porn videos (tagged MarbleCake, Jonas Brothers, Hannah Montana, etc.) are uploaded to YouTube. Lulz ensue.
- The Dan Lirette Story is uncovered.
- Cracked article cites and quotes multiple ED articles as part of a review of of five wikis other than TOW. link
- 1guy1jar interview occurs.
- Beccah Beushausen fakes pregnancy and gets money.
- Brad McQuaid resurfaces on the Internets.
- Cheyenne Cherry kills her friend's cat and gets ruined by Anonymous.
- DracoGuard pisses off a bunch of people OTI and is exposed as a dog fucker.
- Drp1zza becomes known; later surfaces on EDF.
- Left 4 Dead 2 is boycotted.
- Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and BILLY MAYS all die
- TsimFuckis becomes known.
- WhatPort80 is created.
- A Clockwork Orange fucks with 4chan.
- AT&T Blocks 4chan
- Bug Chasing becomes known.
- Crimson-Silvrblood sues the Internet.
- Hypercube becomes known.
- Ricdic swindles the shit out of EVE Online.
- The Real Chris Chan emerges yet again...
- Creepy Phil gains notoriety.
- ED Forums are created.
- Liskula Cohen becomes known.
- Rootbrian becomes known.
- Ted Kennedy dies from brain cancer.
- Aion is released.
- Camille Marino kills her cat with a melon.
- Casual Friday invented on the EDF.
- Crusadercat fucked his cat.
- Imma Let You Finish meme is born.
- Operation Fatfuck occurs.
- Tammi Reynolds attempts to get ED shut down.
- Zaiger kicked off the site.
- Alexander Stern becomes known.
- Alyssa Bustamante murders her neighbor, claims she did it for the lulz.
- Balloon Boy becomes known.
- Brandon Hilton's manager quits his job as a manager after Hilton calls him a faggot.
- Evony becomes known.
- MyIDIsPhat gets v&.
- Obama wins the Most useless Nobel Peace Prize for no fucking reason.
- Pollfest occurs.
- Rifqa Bary runs away to Florida to escape her Muslim dad.
- Roman Polanski gets v& for being a pedo.
- TrollsOfTerror becomes known.
- Ae-tan is born.
- Aeralik quits SOE due to his work being shitcanned by other developers.
- Ashley Towns apparently makes an iPhone virus.
- Deleriumschild becomes known.
- Desuchan is shut down.
- Fort Hood massacre occurs.
- LittleCloud becomes a tranny; FtM.
- New York Yankees swindle another world series; people suddenly care about baseball again.
- Superlisamcb is discovered.
- Teruchan is featured on ED.
- ED turns 5 years old.
- Amanda Knox gets sentenced to 26 years of lesbian prison sex on tape.
- Chanology Contest occurs.
- Frosty the Snowman troll occurs.
- P-p-p-powerbook! wins pollfest.
- Dustin Michaels chokes to death on weed.
- Portia Allen becomes the new queen of /b/.
- Tiger Woods cheats on his wife and loses his spunk in golf.
- Esachasa is crushed by BBWChan and burnt by EQ2Flames.
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|Featured article December 31, 2009|
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Food Not Bombs