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From Encyclopedia Dramatica
7-11 is the store where armed-robbery apprentices get their on-the-job training, and where 90% of Mexicants and 96% of Indians work until they get their Visa and steal your daughter. Without this cornucopia of lulz many of the basement dwellers reading this now might have jobs or families. 7-11's are also hotbeds of various drug and nigger activity. Due to lax zoning laws and insufficient police numbers, 7-11 is allowed to continue their evil operation with virtually no resistance or accountability.
7-11's Contributions to Society
Besides the Slurpee, 7-11's greatest gift to society is its gift of entertainment; without it we would not have shows like World's Dumbest Criminals or gems such as this:
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Also, they provided the name for 711chan. But that's something else.
Is A Career At 7-11 Right For You?
Answer the following questions with a yes or no:
- Are you Indian?
- Are you unable to write, read, speak or recognize English? (Engrish also now acceptable!)
- Are you totally devoid of aspiration?
- Are you an ex-felon?
- Are you absurdly high and incapacitated by the munchies?
- Would you like to work in a location where you can be certain you will get robbed?
- Are you willing to yell at any teenager you see for shoplifting, even if they haven't committed a crime?
If you answered yes to any of these questions, then you might consider job opportunities at 7-Eleven. 7-Eleven is a worldwide chain. It is the largest chain store in any category, beating McDonald's by over 9,000 stores (in your face, Walmart). Its stores are located in eighteen countries, with its largest markets being Japan, the United States, Taiwan, and Thailand - in other words Azns love Slurpees.
How to steal a candy bar:
What a typical night at work is like at 7-11:
- http://www.youtube.com/user/ClooneyOcean (you can see all of the Ocean's 7-11 vids here)
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