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7-Eleven

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
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7-11 is the store where armed-robbery apprentices get their on-the-job training, and where 90% of Mexicants and 96% of Indians work until they get their Visa and steal your daughter. Without this cornucopia of lulz many of the basement dwellers reading this now might have jobs or families. 7-11's are also hotbeds of various drug and nigger activity. Due to lax zoning laws and insufficient police numbers, 7-11 is allowed to continue their evil operation with virtually no resistance or accountability.

7-11's Contributions to Society

Besides the Slurpee, 7-11's greatest gift to society is its gift of entertainment; without it we would not have shows like World's Dumbest Criminals or gems such as this:


Ocean's 7-11

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Ocean's 7-11 Trailer and episode 1 part one.


There is also a sketch comedy-spoof series called Ocean's 7-11 on Les tubes which is filmed there. It is the show that you and your untalented fat friends would make if you had the money.


   
 
"Oceans 7-11” is an eight episode series that began airing in January, 2008. Each episode consists of two parts running approximately seven to ten minutes each. “It’s part parody, but we really wanted to create an homage to the guys we grew up following, like George Clooney and Steven Soderberg. We realize we have to renew the viewers’ attention every couple minutes, or they’ll move on to an uploaded home video on YouTube of someone falling off a ladder.
 

 
 

Also, they provided the name for 711chan. But that's something else.

Is A Career At 7-11 Right For You?

Don't cha just luuve stereotypes?
Oh, good: the night shift is here.

Answer the following questions with a yes or no:

  • Are you Indian?
  • Are you unable to write, read, speak or recognize English? (Engrish also now acceptable!)
  • Are you totally devoid of aspiration?
  • Are you an ex-felon?
  • Are you absurdly high and incapacitated by the munchies?
  • Would you like to work in a location where you can be certain you will get robbed?
  • Are you willing to yell at any teenager you see for shoplifting, even if they haven't committed a crime?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, then you might consider job opportunities at 7-Eleven. 7-Eleven is a worldwide chain. It is the largest chain store in any category, beating McDonald's by over 9,000 stores (in your face, Walmart). Its stores are located in eighteen countries, with its largest markets being Japan, the United States, Taiwan, and Thailand - in other words Azns love Slurpees.

How to steal a candy bar:


What a typical night at work is like at 7-11:


See Also

External links

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7-Eleven
is part of a series on

Life

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