The Great eBarrier Reef
See Also: Project Freeweb
The ACMA (Australian Communications and Media Authority) has recently announced legislation to protect every Australian from nasty websites such as 4chan, Goatse and even your beloved Encyclopedia Dramatica. To do this, the Government intends to install a compulsory Internet filter for the entire country, one to rival The Great Firewall of China. Not long after trials started, somebody exploited the filter and discovered the entire list of blocked sites. This list of 10,000 URLs was uploaded to WikiLeaks and subsequently to ED. As this is super-secret Government information, the ACMA proceeded to shit bricks as they were forced to explain to the public why certain popular sites were blocked.
After a report citing the severe inadequacies and costs of the filter, the Australian Federal Government plans to continue with the project. In 2011, when the electronic curtain drops over Australia, ED will grow just a little more awesome. Never forget.
Naturally, parents are happy with the filter because it means that rather than supervising their children and teaching them about the potential dangers of the Internet (you know, parenting), the mother can instead go to her boss' house for sex and the father can contemplate suicide in the bathroom. And since Ausfailians have working hours that would make Japan shit its pants, any lifeboat the government cares to throw to the people to help relieve their cognitive load is welcomed with warily open arms.
But not everyone is happy. Basement dwellers across Australia are enraged that, as adults, they are not being offered an opt-out of this wonderful free service and their latency in Xbox Live will increase. No achievements for you tubsy! Reasons suggested for the filter are:
- A drive to move Australian culture back to the optimistic '50s.
- To appease the sexually-repressed Christian right.
- To make ready for a grorious Peopre's conquest of Austraria by China.
- Stephen Conroy's retaliation for being shown goatse.
In early March 2009, wikileaks poasted a huge list, which in turn sparked a minor shitstorm. The list in question was the upcoming Great Firewall of Australia's censored website list. As you're reading this, you are currently viewing a website that has been deemed illegal by the Australian Government. To further compound the retardation, the Australian Bureaucracy will attempt to fine individuals of up to AUD$11,000 (USD$20) per day for linking to any such content. Also, seeing as the Great Firewall of China is just a torify away from bypassing, it seems next to impossible that Ausfailia could do any better without China's billion-strong sweatshop monkey machine of programmers.
You can view the full list here. Note the number of dead links, dead rapidshits, dead *chan threads, and even dead MySpace profiles. Great job Australia, protecting your sheep against people that Tom already raped and baleeted.
How to get the blacklist from PC based filtering software
The following came from a comment on the Australian Whirlpool forums, which was in turn censored. YOU'RE NEXT!
- Download a copy of the Integard content filter and set it up however you want. (google integardsetup.exe)
- Open up integard.exe in a hex editor
- In your hex editor, do a search for "datetimepicker.js" and change it to the not-at-all-ambiguous "Websites_ACMA.txt"
- Quickly kill the running integard.exe and save your changes.
- Once integard.exe has reloaded, browse to 127.0.0.1:18881/Websites_ACMA.txt — which it will now happily serve you via the web interface.
On December 15, 2009, the Australian Labor Government announced the results of the trial program to censor the Internet. They ran the trial over 9 ISPs, and the results are in: IT FUCKING SUCKS.
- ISPs had difficulty loading and patching the filter.
- A "technically competent user" can circumvent the filtering technology.
- The filter over-blocks 3.4% of URLs.
- "One particular technology" forces a significant performance impact on traffic (up to 40%). The majority have a "minimal" impact.
- Commonly used methods of circumvention (such as Tor and other proxies) will be almost impossible to impede due to the fact that the technologies required to halt them will impact traffic performance too greatly.
- Customers report both over-blocking and under-blocking by the filter.
- Customers report traffic performance degradation.
- Customers expressed the need for self-management of the content system (i.e. opt-in service).
- Non web based protocols are almost impossible to impede.
- It's really fucking expensive.
- It blocks fucking Google Images, what the fuck is that shit?
Some argue that the methods for determining "refused classification" (RC) content is completely arbitrary and values-based, rather than having a criteria by which websites are based on. The Government plans to table the legislation before the next election in 2010, and if passed, it will be enforced in 2011. But everybody knows that the Greens Party, who opposes the legislation, holds the balance of power in the Senate, and thus the legislation will fail. Ultimately, this is merely a media stunt by the Government to appeal to single-issue family values voters, rather than serious business. But don't tell Anonymous that.
A New Hope
Realising that implementing the filter would constitute a direct violation of Labor's current policy of complete inaction, Stephen Conroy's office announced it would be postponed until after the next Federal Election. Labor apologists now claim that the entire filtering scheme was nothing more than a clever ploy to win the support of Stephen Fielding in the senate. Since Fielding will be kick banned from politics at the election and the front cabinet will be reshuffled to bring lesbian Asians like Penny Wong to the reins of power, the whole plan will never be heard of again. We can only hope.
- nimp.org - Not yet blocked; at present, there's no legislation against linking to it.
- Stephen Conroy's email address
- Kevin Rudd's "accessible, open and transparent way" of contact.
- Anontalk.com - where Ruddkips gets tips on how to please the altar boys.
- Overview on ACMA and the politics behind it.
- No Clean Feed's Stop Internet Censorship site
- Australian Firewall now includes WikiLeaks
A simulation of the great firewall of AustraliaDown.
- The list on WikiLeaks
| | | |
| The Great eBarrier Reef
is part of a series on
Taking Down ED
[Do It Faggot]
|The Great eBarrier Reef
is part of a series on serious business
Free Speech • Identity theft • Irony • Internet asshole • Internet Celebrities • Internet disease • Internet drama • Internet humanitarians • Internet Law • Internet lawsuit • Internet lawyer • Internet stalking • Internet tough guy • Internet Vigilante Group • Operation Falcon Punch • Swatting • Title IX • World Wide Web Consortium
People & Organizations
2cash • Alan Turing • Casey Serin • David Hockey • Dear Cis People • Doxbin • DREAMers • Fast Eddie • Grace Saunders • Hallcats Squadron • Jessi Slaughter • Kittens • Maja Schmidt • Meek Mill • Missy • Niggest Crook Force • Psychopath • Susan J. Elliott • Vloggerheads • WEB SHERIFF
|Featured article December 15, 2009|
| Preceded by
|DestinyMew/The Great eBarrier Reef|| Succeeded by|
|Featured article December 16, 2009|
| Preceded by
DestinyMew/The Great eBarrier Reef
|The Great eBarrier Reef|| Succeeded by|