AMD

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The AMD feature deserved by an AMDfag


Founded by a posse of Italian gigolos, Anal Molesting Devices (AMD), also known as African Made Devices, started whoring out microchips in 1978. They first gained notoriety from selling x86-cloned CPUs. Intel whined about it and sent AMD to court. The judge ruled that since AMD was reverse-engineering their chips, they could continue selling them. Intel then put a vendetta on AMD's head. The war was on. Only, instead of spreading FUD like any decent company would, Intel began breaking the legs of OEMs who offered computers with AMD chips.

So what did AMD do? They cried like little sissies and accused Intel of being a monopoly. The litigation war is on.

AMD also creates awesome 64-Bit chips that r0x0rs the socks off everything else on the market. At least, that's what everyone on Slashdot says. 64-Bit chips have revolutionized modern computing and now to see a modern program, let alone an entire operating system, running with x86 instructions is unheard of.

AMD compared to Intel[edit]

Pic unrelated

It is well known among the hackish elite that Intel is an evil company that makes satanic chips. Indeed, it does not take computer literacy to see this; the brand name of Intel's chips is Pentagram. Intel even rates its chips on clock speed, a measure of how many goat heads it can generate each cycle.

Luckily, AMD has come to the rescue with a far less evil chip, complete with a new PR (porn regeneration) rating system which measures the number of nude Catherine Bell pics it can draw on the screen per second. The decreased evil quotient makes it a good choice for applications such as missile defense shields and SkyNet.

Okay retards, The AMD 965 Black Edition features an unlocked multiplier set at 17x. The shit was so cash at 3.4 GHz x4 cores. With an air cooled solution, you cheap bastard, this baby WONT hit 900 degrees, and enable you to bump it up to about 4.06 GHz without problems. However in a push to get it done, brute force I can calculate more variables that you, Intel will win every time. Every single time.

Of the top 50 fastest consumer CPU's in the world; Intel sports 49. However AMD's fastest cpu is only $295.99 and Intel's fastest is over $3838.00

Arguably AMD is not the company of choice from Linux, BSD (Like Blue Screen of Death AMIRITE) because it offer's no documentation for linuggz dwellers. Their mobile video cards, yes AMD is ATI dumbshit, take so long to reversely engineer to work proporly that the second Linux actually works you realize its a Pentagram 3, or an Antholon.

AMD realized this so they are making a new line of CPU's, called "Bulldozer," unfortunately it sports 16 cores. Video encoding like FFmpeg (forced mpeg2 re-compression) with theroya vorbits audio (TL;DR a dvd's format and other Linux video formats instead of wmv) is a single threaded application. You could have over 9000 cores and it would still go about the same speed as a Pentagram 4 at the same clock speed. (AND COST LIKE $20 on ebay)

So they invented hyperthreading or IRL it may have one thread but we give it an isolated thread as much as humanly possible so it goes liek 9000% faster. There is a reference clock at 2300 MHZ on the 965 Black Edition (nigra edition amirite because its the same CPU as the 955 but an unlocked multiplier so anyone can overclock without any skills)

Anyway AMD decided that was dumb and put enhanced processing instructions (without a manual for Linux or any person who writes programs like itunes) so shit would be cache (cash spelled with an e for shEEEEEnternet EEEEExpliotEEEEEEEEEr) These ranged from dumb names like "pRosses NOW!" to "Eat a virus bro" anyway TL;DR Intel is anything that AMD is but better. The Phenom II (fastest chip in production in feb 2010) wasn't designed to compete with th i7, or the i5, or even the i3, NOT EVEN THE FUCKING iMACs, but the Q6660 and Q9650. Its liek one step above Pentagram 2!


This is how CPU architecture went.

1) 8086 Intel, 286, 386, Pentagram 1, AMD started but failed, Pentagram pro, Pentium 2, Pentium 3, Pentium 4 (which is a pentagram 3 with on-board memory controllers making it shitty and inefficient but lowered cost for motherboard manufacturers), dual-cores (that were just two p4's glued together with goatse cum) AMD's dual cores (that were real duals), better dual cores, Intel makes quads, AMD invents 64-Bit, Intel lolz, Intel makes core 2 duo, Intel makes better quads, AMD makes the first REAL quad core called Phenom, world lols, Intel makes a real quad core (not two core 2 duos glued with tubegirls shit that was paid for in pure gold) Intel makes the Q series (marketing department was busy loling about Goatse) AMD loses all but 10% of their market share, Nvidia went bankrupt, ATI made chips, and then Goatse dies, then Intel makes i5 followed by i7. AMD makes Phenom 2, twice the Goatse cum, and its slightly faster then the Q series (but not by much) Intel > AMD

Back in the old days (P4 willimate) you had to cut wires in your computer to overclock. This caused n00bz to get owned. This would unlock the multiplier; AMD decided FUCK IT WE ARE DOING IT LIVE, and unlocked it so hackers would buy their shit if we charge them liek 20 more dollarz!

AMD Processors performance compared to Intel chips[edit]

A little known fact about Intel's corporate strategy is that each new generation of microprocessor is merely the previous generation with flame decals glued to it in order to create subtle performance gains. The fact is that Intel hasn't created a new architecture since the 586. AMD's usage of Engineers to create new architectures is creating a large advantage. AMDs chips overheat more than others--that means they're better--and one day AMD hopes not to need decals to show flames.

AMD Marketing[edit]

At least 100 years ago AMD decided to change their marketing strategy and appeal to "economically challenged African Americans". Thus they cleverly coined their unlocked processors as Black Edition. In addition they made their processors more affordable. The AMD Phenom II X6 1090T has six cores and is clocked to 3.2GHz and costs $295, the Intel i7 980x also has six cores, is clocked to 3.33GHz, and costs $999. Despite this however, Intel owns over 70% of the market. Many Nigras dismiss this as fanboyism and purchase AMD processors without thinking twice. With a bit of research they would figure out that due to hyperthreading, increased cache, and Anti-Nigra technology the i7 980x is over 9000 times faster. Unfortunately due to this research requiring the Internet(There are no niggers on the Internet), none ever figured this out. This is considered by some to be AMD's greatest marketing strategy of all time.

The Future[edit]

African Made Devices plans to make a CPU/GPU hybrid which is why their new slogan is THE FUTURE IS FUSION. Intel at first lol'd at the idea but then eventually started developing their own version of it and we have yet to see what comes of it.

AMD versus Core 2 Doo Doo[edit]

Intel released a range of core 2 doo doo chips which raped most AMD processors out. AMD tried to combat this and Intel's quads with their Phenom line of quads which sucked major dick. Finally after huge market losses and being called retarded, AMD finally came out with their Phenom 2 line of CPUs. Now AMD has something to combat core 2 doo doos while Intel made another processor which they call the i7. At first everyone was gay for it but then after a while they realized that i7+GAEYMAN = facepalm.jpg so AMD's Phenom 2s got a slight advantage.

How to troll AMD/Intelfags[edit]

Trolling AMDfags: Say AMD is for poorfags, post Phenom 1 benchmarks compared to Intel quads, mention company financial losses, compare Phenom 2 to i7

Trolling intelfags: Say i7 is dead end socket, post benchmarks of e8400 to i7, mention the fact that Nvidia said i7 is useless.

BBQ an AMD[edit]

All the AMD processors feature copper-pipeline heatsink that everyone is gay for - what they don't know is that this is necessary lest your CPU turn flaming and burn your computer.


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