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ASMR

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ASMR (aka Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response) is where attention whores and basement-dwellers find a symbiotic relationship. ASMR involves clients relaxing to women (and men, in sadder cases) whispering in their ears over the internet. People who enjoy ASMR videos claim that they don't get any kind of sexual gratification from ASMR, and only do it to relax, much like how a pedophile justifies their love of naked boys with "it's just for fun!". It's a well known fact everybody into ASMR is an asspie-riddled beta virgin with no life as they can be found in the YouTube comments spouting cringy pickup lines in the slim hope the girl doing the video will notice the comment, look them up, and fall in love with them.

Other types of ASMR include watching people eat, watching people rub shit such as cloth or wood together, listen to people cluck their tongue, and other ways of being an overall faggot. ASMR often includes role playing situations that involve 16 year old girls talking quietly into your ear and caressing you in a totally non-sexual way while giving you positive affirmations and reminders to the existence of their patreons.

An ASMR girl participating in the popular role play of laughing at your tiny dick.

ASMR's Origins[edit]

Rape sloth therapist.jpg

There was once a bunch of epileptic asspies who got some kind of orgasm in their head (god knows it's the only type they'd ever get) from a variety of "triggers," including...

  • Having someone be nice to you (because since that's such a rare occurrence for defective abominations, it really turns their head on).
  • Hearing different languages (just the mere thought of being cultured makes these rednecks jizz).
  • Someone making certain sounds, like tapping on a table, or clicking their tongue (dunno, maybe some kind of fetish with inanimate objects?)
  • Someone reading to you (for those who can't read).

...among other normal things. Soon, these faggots began to connect with one another on the internet, and tried their best to come up with a name for it. Before calling it ASMR, many terms were considered, such as Auto-Induced Faggotry (AIF), Cranial Nigger Shitting (CNS), and Attention Induced Head Orgasm (that last one I'm not making up, lol).

From that point on, sick fucks everywhere had been given the best thing since My Little Pony.

How to start your own ASMR channel[edit]

  • 1. Be at least a 5/10 girl. This is the hardest part.
  • 2. Put on a public persona of being a dainty, feminine girly girl so you attract the betas and cucks who just got done watching Touhou porn.
  • 3. ????
  • 4. Laugh as your Patreon is filled and your viewers' balls are drained

Trolling ASMR Channels[edit]

It's very easy to troll ASMR jewtube channel viewers, as they're insecure about their strange fetish. All one has to do is state the obvious sexual nature of ASMR videos and massive butthurt will ensue. In other words, call it porn.

Also, you could suggest they do these very simple and common activities with their real life friends and/or girlfriends, and of course they'll have no way to rebut this because they'd be forced to admit that they have no friends.

Last thing, the ASMR community is chock full of SJW, so make sure to say anything that isn't nice to them. This could range from calling the girl in the video a whore (or if it's a guy, call him a faggot), call members of this community out on their fucking weirdness and demand that they leave the planet on the spaceship they came here on, or simply make a small but polite criticism of the video's author.

Around 80% of the viewerbase of a female ASMRtist struggle to contain their massive erection while watching their goddess do her work. This is made plainly obvious by the comment section, as barely any of these sick fucks can resist stating among the most cringe worthy attempts at flirting the internet has ever witnessed. You can ruin the day of these sad, stupid niggers by replying with something like "You realize {FemaleASMRTIST X} and her boyfriend fuck on the reg, right?". The dejected permavirgin will almost instantly shit his diaper in a fit of jealousy.

ASMR isn't sexual![edit]

See Also[edit]

External Links[edit]


[Case ClosedOpen Up to Us]
ASMR is part of a series on Psychology
Antisocial personality disorder Hannibal Lector.jpg Mental illness & Disorders

AcrotomophiliaAddictionAgoraphobiaAlcoholismAlexis Pilkington SyndromeAlzheimer'sAnorexiaAntisocial personality disorderAnthropophobiaAnxietyADDADHDAsperger's SyndromeAutismBimboficationBipolarBorderline personality disorderBug ChasingBulimiaDeep thinkerDepressionDick ImpalementDown's SyndromeDyslexiaEating disorderFactitious disorderFake SchizophreniaFauxlimiaFeminismGender dysphoriaGirl on the Internet SyndromeHeterophobiaHero ComplexHFAHistrionic Personality DisorderHutchence's SyndromeHyperbolimiaInadequacyInconsistent personality disorderInsanityLiberal Butthurt SyndromeLow Self-esteem'Missing White Woman' SyndromeMultiple personality disorderNapoleon ComplexNarcissistic personality disorderNeurotypicalObsessive Compulsive DisorderParanoiaParanoid personality disorderPeter Pan SyndromePost-Traumatic Stress DisorderPsychopathyRetardationSchizophreniaSeasonal Affective DisorderSelf-diagnosisSelf InjurySelf-VictimizationSexsomniaSickfuckerySociopathySocial anxiety disorderSpecial Snowflake SyndromeTrolling Induced Transsexuality SyndromeTulpaUnrealistic expectationsVictim complex

Fetishes:

AcrotomophiliaAquaphiliaArborphiliaAudiophiliaAutogynephiliaBalloon FetishBestialityCarmen Electra complexCross DressingDollfiliaEmetophiliaEmosexualityEproctophiliaFatty Fetish (Female Fat Admirer) • FetishismFoot FetishFurniture PornFurrismGoo girlGuroHeterophiliaHomophiliaInflation FetishJapanophiliaJungle FeverLesbian pedophiliaLotion PlayMacrophiliaMaiesiophiliaMechanophiliaMpregNecrophiliaObjectophiliaOedipial ComplexParaphiliaPedophiliaPlushophiliaPregnant LoliPregnophiliaQuicksand FetishRangerphiliaSpectrophiliaStatuephiliaTrichophiliaVoraphiliaWet and Messy FetishismWetlookXenophiliaYellow feverZoophilia

E-Psychosis:

Chronic Troll SyndromeDeletionismE-goE-PsychiatristE-PsychiatryETDHivemindI-DosingI have a 140 IQIRC DiseaseImaginary girlfriendInternet Disease & Internet Disease ChartInternet poverty delusionsInternet RehabInternet troll personality disorderMega ultra super geniusNerdy Fandom Gateway TheorySex by associationLulz-BlindnessWikipedia's Greatest Hits Diseases

Experiments:

ask.fmBrainwashingHypnosisMilgram ExperimentScientologyStanford Prison ExperimentThe Hivemind Corollary

Sites:

Above Top SecretB/Bodies Under SiegeCYOCChatrouletteDefense Industries OrganizationDeekerFoolQuest.comInkBunnyNeuticles.comPsyke.orgWarpMyMind.com

See also:

American Psychiatric AssociationAngerASMRChild abuseConscienceDreamDSMEnlightenmentIntelligenceLobotomyPsychiatristySerial KillersTake the meat bridgeThe Law of ConformityTrigger Warning

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ASMR is part of a series on YouTube.

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