AWOLnow is a chatting website where 16 year old girls, fags, and fame-hungry whores are everywhere you look. The site was once full of wholesome, fun, and nice people, but it was all corrupted once a boy named Cody decided he was going to be an egotistical bitch.
Being a pretty bitching place to chill is all in AWOLnow's past. New users will often find themselves attacked by greasy ogres, or being shunned for not having money to buy drugs. The website's active spots have died down to the graveyard and select cribs of the poor slobs who continue to drain their wallets into Annet International Corporation's festering pile of glitched codes.AWOLnow is mostly unknown. Certainly not in the same ranks as larger chat sites, AWOL mostly gets its users from dressupgames.com, where you'll find it in Simulation games. AWOLnow is supposed to be a children's game, but will you find children here? No. It is inhabited by fugly teens trying to pretend they have issues, pretending they are real and buying wristbands from Hot Topic. They are constantly creating drama and pulling stunts like spamming the bulletin boards and hacking the site. They write in their diaries about how hard life is, and what deathly illnesses their relatives have, so you can feel sorry for them.
(UPDATE: AWOLnow merged with the Taiwan version of it, AIDO and now the website has been dead for over 6 months. None of the generation of which this page was created about even get on anymore and is filled with nothing but chinks. And of course, Jordan and Lady, who obviously have no life. Less we forget, Edwin Cancel.)
Once you start AWOLnow as a free trial for a month, you start as a newbie. You must complete simple tasks like bombing nuns and performing brain surgery. If you fail those, you get kicked out for being the waste of flesh you are. But if you pass, you can buy clothes for your avatar, personalizing it to your tastes. You are then ridiculed by members for being a newbie until you pay 10 dollars to become a member. You can then buy a crib to become a noble, or just stay a citizen. Citizens and nobles both have access to the Boutique, which has a larger range of clothing, faces, hair, and child porn. Citizens and nobles can also access places that Newbies cannot.
After you pay 10 dollars through PayPal, congratulations. You're a citizen! You can go commit suicide now, fag. You just PAID to use a children's game. Congrats.
Citizens enjoy such perks as:
- Having an account! Your membership won't expire ever.
- You get a small flower next to your name!
- You can pimp out your profile now!
- You won't be treated like shit!
- You can now buy furry costumes!
Wow. Look at all you've achieved!
Nobles are Citizens who have paid 100 AD for a crib. This is basically just a way to get more money, because now you have to pay monthly rent on your crib, furnish it, and buy more clothes with your new, bigger, CLOSET.
But wait! Nobles get LOTS of perks!
- Having a crib means you can successfully be a pedophile. A perfect place to lure girls into!
- You can now kiss people. And reach into their pants.
- You can have a magic "ride". Which is a stuffed animal that your character rides. It can also yell things in Japanese. This is EXTREMELY ANNOYING.
- You get a shiny gold crown next to your name!
Wow. You suck even MORE. You now have sold your soul and are never leaving this game.
Not unlike YouTube and MySpace, AWOLnow has very well-known people that are known as "Awol Legends". All known for different things, such as preaching religion, mad profile skills, spamming the boards, and just being known for what you say.
The biggest attention whore on the fucking AWOL Island. Creates so much fucking controversy and drama, that it makes you want to shoot yourself, come back alive, eat your shit, and die again. This mother fucker knows how to piss people off, and does a damned well good job of it.
- Dak Raven/Sally/Jennifer/Shemale Man-beast Tits
A lying whore who screwed everyone over. Told everyone she was a gay guy, and then came back saying "LOL JK GUYS!!!1". Dak lives "over the pond" and is a festering tub of lard. She posts pictures of how gay she looks today and her profile is always complaining about how her family hates her and no one loves her. Butthurt and depressed, she goes on the computer and stuffs her face with Pringles. She reads Harry Potter fanfic- need I say more? Constantly spewing her love for TomxHarry gay sex, people are provoked even more to slap her- but her fat just causes a rippling effect and creates an earthquake. She has crushes on EVERYONE who, ironically, find her repulsive and annoying.
The complete and total bitch that believed she reigned over the imaginary world. No one really cares about her. She got her ego because RavenMassacre decided that it would be cool to put her in the spot light whenever the Legends got together. Being the two faced whore that she is, she turned on him and decided to take the fame for herself. Failing miserably, she went home crying to her Daddy and told him to cancel her internet. Krew still believes that she is popular on AWOL to this very day. She gets butthurt ANYTIME someone talks about her and immediately means you're about to hear a boring rant over 50 pages long. According to Raven's profile, she will most likely be coming back to AWOL with him.
Zeth was the Legend after Beast was announced as 'Ex-Legend'. Claims he never wanted to be popular, yet had a lot of people who adored him. Until Early 2008 where he started shoving his friends away and became mentally unstable. For some reason, Zeth got the credit for RavenMassacre's inbox hack. Mostly because Doom is a poser does nothing but talk a lot of shit. Zeth hasn't been seen on AWOL for a while now and is currently on talking to Rachel. Another mentally unstable user from the Graveyard. Zeth is a faggot.
- The BaracudaREPORT
The Baracuda Report was ran by RavenMassacre. Basically, it was Raven creating a huge list of people and bashing them for their flaws and such. Much like this ED page on AWOL, only, not so great. For some reason, The Baracuda Report was a hit and everyone loved it. EVEN after they found out it was Raven, many people pretended it was just another user who no one knew about. But of course, Doom got pissed because Raven got even more fame, and he wanted some of it, so, of course, tried to get rid of Baracuda Report. www.myspace.com/TheBaracudaReport it isn't much now, ending at Season 4.
WHERE ARE THEY NOW?
- WHERE TO BEGIN?
RavenMassacre, now known as "Cody Blake", now posts sob stories of how he hates men and other dumbfuck shit that no one cares about, trying to become famous on Youtube. Probably still living at home with his mother and mooching off of her.
It seems that Dak FINALLY quit AWOLnow even though it's been dead for 6 months or so, and filled with chinks on behalf of the website merging with the Taiwan version known as "AIDO". From reliable sources, she stuffs her face with pringles on Flyff now.
Krew York has decided to disappear from the face of the internet, but wouldn't be shocking if she's just found a new identify to go by. Stupid whore.
Zeth was recently found on Facebook via his GIRLFRIEND, that's right, you heard it, faggot has a girlfriend now, Rachel Patterson's profile. Both two mentally unstable dumbfucks. I hate to see how their kids turn out to be.
2015 UPDATE EDITION
- A SPECIAL UPDATE
AWOLnow no longer exists, however, the "gay-yard" crew, (90% of AWOLnow's population), still keep in touch over a private Facebook group where Cody still posts stupid shit. Everyone, really, posts nothing but stupid shit and they all still cry about wanting the website to come back. WHY? Why would any of you want such a thing?
Cody is still himself. Nothing needed to say. Dak has still herself. Nothing needed to say. Krew York has been confirmed to never exist. It seems as if she has also pulled a "Dak", and was a homosexual male who pretended to be a woman. That explains a lot. Zeth is still MIA from the whole scene, which he's been completely forgotten about now anyways.
These special, needy children of AWOLnow no longer gather on their island, as is it dead, but rather, they get on Tinychat for gatherings to get drunk and act foolish on camera for everyone to see.
AWOLnow was such a legendary thing, user, Chris Cabral, AKA: Callintz (wtf?), got the logo tattooed on his leg. JFC.
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