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Aaron Williams

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If you show me your penis, I'll be your best friend.
 

 
 

—Aaron Williams, to an 8 year old boy


AARON WILLIAMS WAS CAUGHT BEING A HUGE PEDO


   
 
Dont hat the player, hate the game.
 

 
 

—Aaron Williams

On June 16, 2010 Anonymous made its daily patrol on Chatroulette. Seeing as Anon is a wizard, it assumed the guise of a little boy. He was connected to Aaron Williams of 25 Tower Hill, Beccles, Suffolk, a young britfag who enjoys Michael Jackson and The Fast and the Furious. Aaron went on to ask the troll if he wanted to play "a game", and proceeded to expose his penis to whom he thought was an 8 year old boy. Being the stupid limey fucker he is, he then did the most detrimental thing one could do to their life: fed the troll his real Email, in the hopes of becoming this little boy's new "best friend".

Naturally, the conversation was fukken saved, and brought straight to the local authorities, where it has created an unnecessarily large amount of butthurt. Half of /b/ became whiteknight cancerfags who think the "innocent" douche should be left alone, whereas the other half are jerking off over the fact /b/ might have actually done something lulzy for the first time in a while.

Upon exposure, Aaron quickly deleted his Facebook Page only to suddenly realize that doing so was an admission of guilt, finally re-activating it and going into damage control mode by trolling /b/ saying the image was shopped even though it wasn't.(Service closed down)


   
 
How can anyway who knows me actually believe this shit, they've done a good fucking job, I'll give them that much!
 

 
 

—Aaron Williams


   
 
It's total bullshit! They obvisouly haven't got anything better to do apart from try to make you look like a cunt pal, they'll soon get bored!
 

 
 

—Ashley Moore


Lulz Delivered

The following day, after several more threads in which the anti-pedo hoards of /b/ engaged in high-minded rhetorical combat with the numerous pro-pedo defenders of Aaron Williams' virtue, the OP who started it all heroically returned to /b/ in order to gift the troubled population with the final, damning evidence of guilt, in the form of a confession by Mr. Williams himself. This evidence was presented as several email communications between OP's sockpuppet Facebook, and the pedo in question. In a sane world, this would end most debate on the matter, but we all know that the internet is bizzaro world, so of course the flame wars continued.


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You see, he knew it was a fake all along! And it was also the fault of the strip club he went to, and all those mean girls on Chatroulette that kept skipping over him! How could they not want to see a pale, chubby Britfag in a Twilight shirt stroke his tiny dick for them? The nerve! Clearly he was left with no other option but to show his penis to what he totally knew was a video loop, then provide his email address for the video loop to communicate with him afterward. I mean, when you explain it like that, it all makes perfect sense, no?

In conclusion, totally not a pedo.


WIN(?)

Finally, after much butthurt and faggotry regarding whether an actual authority would give a flying fuck about any of this IRL, a spark of hope appeared when the Beccles police contacted the OP to let him know the information would be "passed to the appropriate departments". Great success! Or, more likely the Beccles police, after receiving over 9000 emails from slathering b-tards titled 'OMG PEDO', felt like they needed to at least respond as the message flood was probably putting a huge strain on their Commodore 64.



OP and the ten remaining b-tards who were still paying attention to this clusterfuck reacted predictably, with some rejoicing at the swift justice that would surely be delivered, and the remainder calling them faggots. Who's right in all this? We report, you decide!


Aftermath

After the royal ass-raping Arron's life received from Anon, things begin to get a little hazy. All along, the line from his supporters (who were allegedly in touch with him) had been that nobody he knew believed any of this, including his girlfriend. Reality, on the other hand, seems to be a little different (as it is wont to do), as Aaron revealed in his final email exchange with the OP. What is clear is that both he and his girlfriend baleeted their Facebook accounts, and shortly beforehand, the girlfriend changed her relationship status. This jibes with Aaron's own admission that he had 'lost his girlfriend' over this and that his friends were turning on him.

It's doubtful that Aaron will be v&, because truthfully it's a pretty thin beef for authorities to take that kind of action on. If Aaron was smart, he'd also have deleted all the sweet, sweet CP you just know he had on his computer, in case he's paid a visit.

So what happened? Did he convince everyone he knows that he's not an internet predator? Did his girl take him back? Anhero? Unless some highly skilled anons do some IRL detective work, we may never know, as the key players have gone to ground, and nobody I know is plugged into the local Beccles social scene.

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See Also


External Links / Dox

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Featured article June 21, 2010
Preceded by
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