Ad hominem

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Roman furries hug their partners after an exchange of ad hominems.

Typically used only by jackasses, ad hominem is a Latin term for shit talking. Detailed studies reveal that it occupies 87% of all forum traffic.

Characteristics[edit]

An ad hominem is characterized by trying to defame a person's claim or opinion because of irrelevant bullshit they're affiliated with that has nothing to do with the current situation or topic at hand.

Why it's used only by jackasses[edit]

Instead of using it in the proper context, people typically call you out on using an ad hominem whenever you give them a rebuttal in a debate. The reason for this is that they lack an argument posing substance of any kind, so they have to resort to calling you out on trying to win by making a personal attack. Using the term "ad hominem" in this context makes you a jackass purely because it makes people who are subject to real ad hominem attacks seem like petty faggots attempting to squirm out of being wrong and having lost.

For example:

  • Judge: Asshole, for committing the act of murdering and raping small children, I hereby sentence your sick fuck ass to rot in jail until the day you die.
  • SickFuck: The only reason I'm being prosecuted is because I'm black!
  • Judge: ... Really? No wait, you're actually fucking serious!? Wait, wait, wait, bring him back, I'm changing my sentence.

The polar opposite of this is when someone is actually indeed using an ad hominem to try and "disprove" someone's claim or blow off their opinion. Calling the jackass out on using actual ad hominems becomes suddenly very difficult because of the aforementioned fuckwit using it as a defense tactic for his dumbass claims.

For example:

That can be made into somewhat of a conversation-stopper by making it more vague:

  • Jackass: PETA is evil, they will rape and eat your pets.
  • Victim: Um, no dipshit, they're wholly against animal abuse and are predominantly vegetarians.
  • Jackass: Well, you would say that, wouldn't you?
  • [a brief silence, as everyone tries to figure out what exactly the Jackass is alluding to. PROTIP for the Jackass: GET OUT before they ask.]

A subtler yet more powerful form of ad hominem exists which can shut down the Jackass's intended ad hominem before he even uses it. This will end the whole stupid fucking conversation, simultaneously delivering a pride-obliterating bitchslap and getting the last word.

  • Jackass: PETA is evil, they will rape and eat your pets.
  • Badass: You and me both know that if you weren't complaining about PETA, you would be complaining about something else.
  • [long silence... a tumbleweed bounces by... PROTIP for the Badass: GET OUT before people expect you to fill that silence by saying something smart.]

History[edit]

Ad hominems were invented by the Etruscans in 700 BCE then stolen and rebranded by the Romans in 500 BCE.

In their time ad hominem translated as "to the man" and was generally used as a euphemism for gifts to one's homosexual lover. These gifts primarily took the form of an early candy made from beech twigs and honey, to which the term was synonymous.

As society evolved they realised how disgusting ad hominems were in comparison to things like balut eggs, kimchi, and haggis. Ad hominems consequently began to fall out of favour and in short time they came to be what we know them as today - a personal insult. By as early as the twelfth century it was degrading to receive an ad hominem in place of contemporary gifts such as new leggings, or an Iranian incense burner.

Unfortunately the internet's architecture does not currently allow people to send their gay lovers gifts of honey and twigs, so they simulate the practice through the use of AIDS and derogatory language.

Usage Notes[edit]

Before making an ad hominem attack, it is a good idea to keep the following things in mind:

  • In Debate, any person disagreeing with the OP is using ad hominem.
  • If you are salting the earth, implementation of ad hominem attacks is imperative.
  • It is impossible to make an ad hominem attack against a furry.
  • If you want to call someone else out on using ad hominem, please remember to italicize the phrase, like so: ad hominem. This shows that you are intelligent and recognize that it's a Latin phrase. Smarter people might point out that italicizing such a common phrase that is in all the English dictionaries is retarded. If someone brings this up, accuse them of ad hominem as well.

External Links[edit]


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