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Adventure Time

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Too many similarities to just be a coincidence
Starting to see it?
Adventure Time,/C'mon grab your friends/We're going to very distant lands
With Jake the Dog and/Finn the human/The fun will never end
Adventure Time

Adventure Time is a batshit-insane cartoon series which airs on Cartoon Network, pandering to queers, Social Justice Wankers, and autistic 13-year-olds around the globe. The show is about an egotistical faggot named Finn, his shape-shifting talking pedo dog, Jake, and their quest to ruin everything good about living in a post-apocalyptic wasteland and that's why if you're parents are cool or you've finally turned 18 and can buy mature games, most people will quickly give this show the finger and go out and buy Fallout 3, New Vegas or Fallout 4. Shit, if you really think about it, this show is a bigger rip off of the classic Don Johnson movie, A Boy And His Dog than Fallout. Let's compare, Both are set in an apocolyptic world. Both main characters have a talking dog as a best friend. Both main characters have the same quest in life, to get laid. If Pedoton Ward is ripping off A Boy And His Dog I wish he'd already get to the end where Don Johnson had sex with the girl and realizing he doesn't want a Princess and all the trappings that come with her, he kills her to save the life of his dog by feeding her to him because Don Johnson's character would rather live a life of adventure with his dog than be held down by broken societal rules.

The show is essentially the same thing as any other Cartoon Network series that has existed since the mid-2000s: an absolute shit-heap with a cancerous fandom consisting of the most fucked up people in existence; the same closeted manchildren who obsessively waste away watching these cartoons with hopes that doing so will either make them hip unique snowflakes, revive their precious 90's cartoons (ironic considering that Adventure Time forces moar auto-tune on the viewers than the average mainstream hip-hop dumbshit who has their own VEVO channel on JewTube) or scenefags who think that they will relate to Marceline because she's all emotional and edgy and all that stupid shit.

Adventure Time was developed by Pendleton Ward and Frederator Studios (creators of another cartoon where pedos and fags make up most of the cast), which explains why most of the show is about said pedophiles and fags on acid.


What the fuck am I reading Finn.JPG

(00:51) @mrbraindead: this is not for kids

(00:51) @mrbraindead: this is the ren and stimpy for kids who are in MENSA


Despite most of the episodes consisting of acid trips misnamed as adventures, Adventure Time does manage to contain a coherent plot, meaning that it has cliffhanger endings at season finales to give viewers the sense that "important" stuff happens despite nothing having been accomplished in the first three fucking seasons.

In the end of Season 2, Princess Bubblegum gets frozen, shattered, and returned to life as a 13 year old loli due to the doctors not having enough gum to work with, as to how this kingdom was to believe that having no means to heal its ruler was a good idea is most likely due to the brain-damage caused by the radiation of the Atomic Bombs. Later, she gets unlolified by absorbing parts of her subjects.

In the end of Season 3, Finn goes emo because teh princess doesn't want dick, causing Jake to find him another bitch. At least 100 princesses later, he picks the psychotic one made of fire to pair up with his friend and they end up kissing rocks. Oh yeah, and the bad guy's a snail now.

Some time during the production of Season 4 Pedoton Ward was becoming aware that parents of Apocolypse Genre Movies were starting to connect Adventure Time with the Classic 70s film A Boy And His Dog. Many of the episodes focusing on Finn and Jake were canned to open up more interesting characters like Marceline and The Ice King. All that happens is a Yu-Gi-Oh style card That won a Golden Reel Award. Finn's failings with flame princess. The focusing on smaller characters and The Lich starts a quest using Finn's hero book to destroy the world.
As this new style was criticaly raved, it is now the new show formula.

Because a lot of the episode from season 4 were canned, they were brought in for Season 5. Season 5 has the most episodes of any season with 52. Highlights include James Baxter the Horse being introduced. Finn breaks up with his Fire Crotch, Flame Princess. Finn realizes his Daddy is alive and starts acting like a 16 year old girl walking the street because her daddy dont love her. Finn and Jake continue to appose the Lich. This season earned 2 emmy nominations and much critical acclaim so the new writing formula is now cannon.

Season 6 Not a lot happens in this season but because of the notice it received from a better writing style, the show teceived 2 emmys for the episodes Jake the Brick and Walnuts and Rain while the show received a Peabody award. The writers felt that it was probably time to play Hemmingway this season because nothing really happens. Finn listens to the cure and cuts himself because his daddy doesn't love him. Sugar-Tits, Princess Bubblegum is ousted by the The King Of OOO and Finn and Jake fight a Godzilla version of Gunther.

Season 7 Two episodes won emmys, Stakes Part 8 The Bad Clouds and Bad Jubies, Bad Jubies also won an Annie Award. This is the Bubblegum - Marceline season as most episodes revolve around them. Candy-Assed bitch Bubblegum tries to live a life not having people she can tell what to do and Marceline whines and cries about how hard it is to be a vampire that is cursed to suck the color red to live. Must be hard for Marceline, all those people she killed sucking the red out of their ketchup packets.

Season 8 Fern Finn is introduced and Finn, Jake and Bemo set out to find Finn's mommy.

Where Everybody Knows Your Name

This piece of shit is probably the worst thing ever created by Pedoton Ward and his crew, because now every 40 year old pedo virgin that watches the show thinks it's the coolest thing ever done on TV, as it reminds them of their childhoods. YouTube is being filled to the brim with fan made videos because it strikes a chord with Adventure Time fantards, who want to be like The Ice King and be the last person on Earth with their very own, personal loli. It is reaching a new level of retardation because Adventure Time fans group it together with all the Simon/Ice King and Marceline references to argue that these shorts are proof that Adventure Time "has depth" and therefore should receive an Emmy.

Ice King tries to lull Marceline to Sleep with some singing so he can "PLAY" with her


Finn.gif Jake.gif Princess Bubblegum.gif Marceline.gif Ice King.png Lumpy Space Princess.gif Lady Rainicorn.gif BMO.gif

Pendleton Ward's perception of "good character design" is completely fucking warped. When designing the characters for his shitty Cartoon series, he threw all morals out the window and made all the characters color-coded with no personality whatsoever, with the foreknowledge that everyone who was going to watch Adventure Time would have the intellectual quotient of a shit-taco.

This is why wet dreams are bad. You can knock up your pillow and comforter and who wants to make child support payments to those 2 whores?
A 13-year-old boy as a main character? Ward must've busted his balls coming up with such an original concept because the fun part about this is Adventure Time finally did get its Emmy from the episode where Finn humps his pillow, knocks it up and inavertantly creates a whole new world populated by half-breed human/pillow people or for the 8 April 2013 episode Puhoy.
Bender if you have any humanity you will kill them
A shape-shifting, shit talking dog who is Finn's only friend as well as his closest life-long partner. Being a torpid, pedo-voiced, manchild furry tub of shit, he's also the embodiment of the show's fanbase with the height of their depth being topics consisting of, If Jake Was Bender, How Would Bender Have Handeled X?  The only cool thing about Jake is in The Ice King's Rule 63 fanfics Jake, or rather Cake,  is voiced by Diane Amos or the nice black lady that does the Pine-Sol commercials.  Surprisingly, she's the only person whose voice sounds like a natural fit for these gender swapped characters.
Made from equal parts cunt and bubblegum
And then there's this cunt who takes the expression Candy-Assed Bitch to a whole new level. Sugar-tits here is the bipolar ADHD suger-high  autocrat of a land of "Ooo"; a name that really sounds like something you would make when hallucinating or watching firworks. She keeps Finn friend-zoned so he can save her ass whenever shit happens.  She pissed off every fan to ever watch the show when she gave up being a 13 year old girl and the chance to pull at Finn's Pee Pee to take back her kingdom.  You think it's impossible for her to be any bigger of a cunt?  Think again.  In a North Korean style Coup D'etat, grab for power she refused to accept the results of a fair election that she agreed to and threw out the King of Ooo, who was the people's choice to rule them Just Because she changed the rules and said Princesses don't need to get elected.
In the Ice King's rule 63 stories she becomes the Bubblegum Prince: a pink, royal, douchebag that can only be described as a 1980s Yuppie, coke head commodities trader that is screwing his daughter because his wife got fat.
And off come the panties
If you thought the sparkling wasn't badass enough, vampires suck red now and have more daddy issues than your average bar hooker.  Mostly in the show to serve as the whore who will most likely take Finn's virginity.  So far Marceline is the first and only girl Finn has seen naked.  Finn would later describe it to Jake as Transcendent and Marceline would later admit to a jealous Princess Bubblegum that she only did it for the lulz.  Once Marceline's Bitch mode had been activated, she went straight for Bubblegum's throat by admitting she would have sat on Finn's Face if she thought he was ready for it or, at least, had an idea of what he needed to do.  Her Rule 63 character Marshall-Lee has made it his reason for living to pop Fiona's cherry or rather Finn's rule 63 character.  Even someone as dense as the Ice King knows about Marceline's obsession with taking Finn's virginity so it's going to happen.
The old coot who wastes his life kidnapping and anally sodomizing princesses for generic-villain reasons and fantasizing with gender-swaps of prepubescent boys. In this LSD inspired world of Pendelton Ward's where the Ice King likes kidnapping princess so he has something to stick his dick in he has to be an old, senile, sick fuck because when the princesses in this world consist of a dog, a slimey self aware cum shot and a literal chick made out of breakfast foods, every ounce of crazy helps when you're stuck in a world where if you want to get laid, you can't be too picky.
Sadly his backstory is more lulzy than the show as a whole. He generally acts like a basement-dwelling, love-shy manchild, so the majority of the fanbase identifies with him. The only thing even remotely cool about The Ice King is that his heart is voiced by George Takai and George isn't shy with the "Oh My" fanservice. The part that sucks is, because of George Takai playing The Ice King's heart, Fantards and Ice King/Finn shippers like to argue that this makes the Ice King gay because his heart is played by an openly gay actor.
This is how fans see LSP
Ward lives out his dream of being a BBW transvestite by voicing this fat fucking shemale. It's later revealed that she wants Finn to fuck her since he began as Ward's self insert. Fantards are prone to arguing that her "LUMPS" refer to Tits and ass and as a female character she is meant to have a rocking bod.  Her alleged huge tits are the "LUMPS" she is named for.  Given her ridiculous, rampant behaviour displayed throughout most of the show, her initials may as well be changed to "LSD".  
  • Lady Rainicorn: A Korean unicorn-rainbow hybrid that is somehow Jake's canon love-interest. And if that wasn't retarded enough already, they somehow managed to mate and conceive offsprings.
  • BMO: BMO is a fucking retard that was all that Finn and Jake could afford from their daily jobs. It's just a fucked up Game Boy slave that they have around their dope-ass tree house which reeks of bong water and piss.
  • Earl of Lemongrab: A completely insane asspie lemon man created by Princess Bubblegum who later creates Ooo's equivalent to North Korea and later explodes because he hates Harp music.


See Adventure Time/Episode Guide


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