Also known as the black Hal Turner, the Rev. Al Sharpton is a first-class nigger, lolcow, racist, attention whore, FBI/Mafia informant, and the arch-enemy of Don Imus. Hiding behind the seemingly moral title "Reverend", he is a moral crusader solely for the benefit of niggers. Al has made a career of trolling White America to its knees, including an attempt at running for President of the USA as a Democrat, despite being a total Jew hater. For a long while, he hosted a show on MSNBC, where he constantly took any event involving a black person and spun it into another case of "dem crackahass whities hatin' on us niggas". Sharpton, like most Civil Rights Movement figures, is illiterate even by Ebonics standards, and deciphering his tribe-speak mish-mash negro babblings requires a very intelligent and cultured individual.
- 1 Early Life As A Negro In Philly
- 2 Movin' On Uppity
- 3 Operation: Race Bait (The Original)
- 4 Further Cases of Racebaiting and Jew-like Scamming
- 5 The Final Solution (SPOILER: IT DIDN'T WORK LUL)
- 6 Kike-Trolling
- 7 Imprisonment (Possible Anal Expansion (?))
- 8 MSNBC "PoliticsNation" TV "Show"
- 9 Al Sharpton on gun rights
- 10 Teleprompter Fail
- 11 See Also
- 12 External Links
Al grew up originally as Fat Albert Robinson in the
middle-class suburb ghetto of Philadelphia. Most assume this is where he developed his illiterate Ebonics "language" in which he speaks today and became a Reverend. He was good friends with Bill Cosby, and their youthful adventures became the basis for Cosby's stand-up comedy act in the 1960's. However, as Al grew up, he became involved in the Nigger Civil Rights Movement, and found that Cosby's act effectively countered all the butthurt that Al claimed he and his fellow niggers suffered from at the hands of whitey. He threatened to sit on Cosby and squash him flat if he didn't stop using him in his act, to which Cosby responded by securing a deal with Filmation to produce a Fat Albert film series for Saturday mornings. With more money, bodyguards and cap poppers at his disposal, Al was forced to resort to other means of distancing himself from Cosby's painting him as a "nice, trustable, stand-up representative of young black America," something he definitely did *not* want to be a representative of. Sharpton was determined to fulfill his dream to become a race-card pulling, ignorant, raging negro.
Movin' On Uppity
Despite the stigma of having inspired the most popular nigger cartoon character since Little Black Sambo, Jesse Jackson gave Al a job in 1969, as the youth director of Operation Breadbasket, a group that was supposed to focus on the promotion of new and better jobs for niggers over good white folks. However, Al took the name of the group literally, and used it as a food gathering service that rounded up all the spare food in Philly. Instead of redistributing the food to the needy, Al instead ate most of it and gave the rest to his two pet pit bulls, Amos and Andy. This was of no consequence, as everyone knows niggers suck at work and can't hold down any sort of decent job. Bill Cosby later parodied Sharpton's lulzey mistake in the famous "Fat Albert the Fudge Cook" scene - "one for you, one for me. One for you, one, two, three for me!"
In 1972, Al got his miracle. As he was taking a correspondence course taught by the Reverend Ike on black street preaching for tax evasion purposes, Al's mother confessed something that came as no surprise to anyone who knows how the genetic nigger family trees operate: the guy that had been shacking up with Al's mom for all those years was, in fact, not Al's real father. The real baby daddy, Mr. Jethro "Shady" Sharpton, had left her before Al was born and had been sentenced to life for running all the three-card monte games in Philly. He reportedly died in 1986 of AIDS he contracted from John Holmes, although it is still debated as to who was the one who bent over to pick up the soap.
Upon receiving the truth about who his daddy was, Al celebrated with a hundred-piece barrel of Kentucky Fried Chicken and three gallons of mashed potatoes and gravy. He then marched down to the Philly courthouse, had his last name changed from Robinson to Sharpton, grabbed his bling-bling and gat, and began street preaching for all niggers to demand equality by taking over the US and sending all the whiteys back to Africa.
Operation: Race Bait (The Original)
Al then spent the next few years searching for a suitable crime involving a guilty black person, with which he could hype up "the race war" and get hordes of niggers protesting, chanting that "da whitey be keepin' us down". From this, Sharpton would profit handsomely.
Al got his first break on December 20, 1986, when three niggers were assaulted in the Howard Beach neighborhood of Queens by a mob of white men. The three niggers were in the neighborhood for usual purposes - two were breaking into cars and homes, while the third was selling door-to-door subscriptions to Ebony - and after the burglars were caught in the act all three were chased by a neighborhood watch group. One was struck and killed by a passing motorist, and the other two niggers subsequently had the shit beat out of them by "dem whities" while waiting for the cops to arrive to get their share of the action.
A week later, on December 27, Al led 1,200 jobless, rampaging niggers all denominations of welfare checks on a march through the streets of Howard Beach. White residents of the neighborhood immediately began putting "for sale" signs on their lawns. Al's efforts to get charges filed against the neighborhood watch group failed even with the help of an appointment of a special prosecutor by New York Governor Mario Cuomo, who was paying off debt to Al that he'd owed his real father. Any and all charges were dropped when the two surviving
victims burglars refused to testify in exchange for all charges against them being dropped, including some 200 parking tickets and the return of their car which had been impounded at least 100 years ago.
Despite this failure, Al managed to get his fat ugly face on the TV news shows, although some stations ran disclaimers to let viewers know that they were not looking at an escaped species of gorilla and thus would not be prompted to call the police or the local zoo to report the escape. He also claimed victory because he was able to induce a mass "White Flight" out of Howard Beach, and laughed about it in interviews as essentially having "not just closed de pool, but closed de entire beach!" His appearance on TV would solidify his presence there for future endeavors.
Further Cases of Racebaiting and Jew-like Scamming
Another case of Sharpton media whoring, in 1987 a case of an almost raped black woman in upstate New York, put Al on the drama map once again. Massive amounts of Lulz were generated after Ms. Brawley reported that she had been finger-painted in shit by some white boys. It was later found out that it was all false and a total load of bullshit.
After the Tawana Brawley scam fell apart, Al found that no nigger with any lick of sense would follow his "whitey be uppresin" scam. As a result, Al changed strategy and started going after whitey himself for being whitey. In 1988 sports broadcaster/bookie, Jimmy "the Greek" Snyder, was fired after saying that Black athletes are better than white ones, due to white slave owners breeding them for desirable traits. Although Snyder was speaking fact - niggers were bred like dogs and cats back in the Golden Days of slavery - Al claimed that Snyder was being racist even though Snyder was claiming that (in some way) niggers were superior to white folk. Snyder's network - CBS - was going to ignore the whole thing, and even planned to air a major expose piece on 60 Minutes showing Al for the scam artist he is, but at the last minute did a complete about-face and fired Snyder, for "offending black viewers". Thus, Sharpton got away with his scam tactics yet again.
After appearing to not have a bias against inverse racism, Al resorted to his old tactics. After four Black teenagers who'd been cruising for white girls to rape were caught in the act by a neighborhood watch group of 10 to 30 white youths who'd been trained by Curtis Silwa in Bensonhurst. One nigger was killed by a member of the whitey group (in self-defense), and the other three imprisoned.
Al saw this as another exploitable money-making situation. He led several marches through Bensonhurst in hopes of provoking the same "White Flight" he'd caused in Howard Beach - especially since he'd made arrangements with a real real estate agent to buy the homes and give him a kickback on the resale! However, nobody bought it and many were mad about this occurrence. Al then bribed many jobless niggers with nothing better to do with KFC and Kool-Aid to his march, but even with that attendance was much lower than expected.
The Final Solution (SPOILER: IT DIDN'T WORK LUL)
In 1991, when the remaining members of the Bensonhurst neighborhood watch were suspended even in light of their community service in keeping dangerous niggers under control, Al announced an even bigger protest march for January 12, 1991. Before that demonstration began, neighborhood resident Michael Riccardi attempted to solve the problem by trying to gut Al like the hog he is. However, Riccardi used a kitchen knife instead of a standard-issue hunting knife, and Al only received some minor wounds - read: all Riccardi managed to do was to cut some fat and never got close to any vital organs.
Although he failed in his mission, Riccardi became a local hero although Al recovered from his wounds. Through some well-placed bribes on both sides - mostly fried chicken, watermelons and blowjobs - Riccardi went to trial where Al asked the judge for leniency when Riccardi was sentenced. Al then took the assassination attempt as a sign and began eating more in order to produce a thicker, more protective layer of lard.
In 2003, Al conceived yet another race-baiting Jew scam. He decided that Riccardi's ability to even make the attempt was the fault of NYC, and he filed suit against the city. Just before the jury was about to be selected, the city decided to settle with Al to the tune of $200,000 USD, most of which came from drug money confiscated during drug busts and protection monies collected from pimps and their workforce.
In 1991, New York City was rocked by the Crown Heights Riots which broke out after a car accident. A Jewish ambulance came to the scene, and decided only to treat the injured Jews there. One of the niggers injured later died because the Jews, in their usual fashion, were too fucking cheap to help anyone else, even though it's their fucking obligation.
Al became the mouthpiece for the kids' family. During the funeral he referred to the Jews as "diamond merchants" and damned them to Hell for shedding "the blood of innocent babies". This is probably the only accurate thing Al has ever said.
In 1995, Sharpton led a violent protest in Harlem against Freddy's Fashion Mart, a Jews' clothing store that was trying to take over a Black owned business. Al preached his hate towards Jews, once again, refusing to let a kike take over a business owned by a nigger. Three months later, an armed protester forcibly entered the store and burned it down, killing himself and seven others. Al denied causing any of the real drama, and ran off with money yet again.
Imprisonment (Possible Anal Expansion (?))
In 2001, Sharpton served a three-month jail term for civil disobedience consisting in illegally trespassing on U.S. property located on a bombing range in Vieques, Puerto Rico. Sharpton was imprisoned for protesting the United States Navy's ongoing bombing and target practices on the island. He apparently was "gonna show dem armee officals dat duh african american community will has its voice herd!".
Well, that's the official line; in reality it simply was that Fat Albert actually saw an opportunity to drop a few hundred pounds on the government's dime, going so far as to hunger strike.
MSNBC "PoliticsNation" TV "Show"
From August 2011 to August 2015, Al hosted a political talk show on MSNBC, a notorious "progressive" channel chock-full of faggots, pussies, niggers, and hippies. His show reported on the same shit every day. He took any event involving black people and hyped it into a "racial conflict" and constantly and brainlessly promoted Barack Obama. It could have been considered a propaganda channel or unofficial PR department for the nigger in the "White" House. And of course, Al spoke in his negro-influenced, totally incomprehensible tribal dialect throughout the whole show. He also conducted many interviews. It was all of Al's faggotry and Jewry combined and presented, one hour, five days a week. Fortunately, it's been cancelled due to low ratings.
Al Sharpton on gun rights
Sharpton is also known for failing at talking.
They'll Jitty bout da shutdown
- Don Imus - Pool's Closed due to Al Sharpton. Wonder how Al's going to take it when his mama reveals that Imus is Al's half-brother.
- Jesse Jackson
- Unwarranted self-importance
- Jena 6
- Hal Turner
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