Alek Minassian

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The subject of this article is a virgin with rage.

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This page is about an attempted an hero.
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Be aware of that, you insensitive fuck.
Alek Minassian
Born November 3, 1992
Nationality Soviet Canuck Canada flag.gif
Highscore Killed 10

Injured 13

Style Single Player / Truck of Peace
An Hero No (arrested)
Rank 43rd Place :(

Alek MinassianFedora icon.png is an Armenian-Canadian best known worldwide as the present high-score holder for Canadian usage Grand-Theft-Auto, when on April 23rd, 2018, he utilized the well-proven truck of peace to relieve 10 unfortunate canucks of their lives. Like other national treasures such as Luka Magnotta, Marc Lepine, and Justin Trudeau, Alek Minassian sought to improve his life, and ideally end it, through bloodshed and notoriety. Unforunately for him, as a certified autist, he couldn't even get the police to shoot him, thus finding himself cucked for the umpteenth time.

Ladies, he's going to be single for a long time.


Minassian was born in Toronto, Canada, and was educated at Thornlea Secondary School. He was described as fidgety and socially awkward, symptoms that in retrospect clearly indicated autism. He was so lonely that he even sometimes hugged himself and made strange noises. An interview with his mother, Sona Minassian, suggested that he suffered from aspergers syndrome. Minassian was described as proficient with computers, and created an Android app to locate parking spaces in Toronto. At the time of his attack, Minassian had just graduated from Seneca College, a local post secondary intuition.

Incel Rebellion[edit]

Virgin Cucks vs Chad Terrorist?

On April 23rd, 2018, the bucolic nation of Canada was knocked into action by a 2.3 ton white moving van, hurtling down a pedestrian kerb at highway speeds. Eyewitnesses reported flying bodies, smushed canucks, and the wails of wives and children, as Alek deftly manuevered his vehicle through crowds. After 20 minutes of grand theft auto re-enactment, the vehicle hit a bollard, and Minassian stepped out, only to be confronted by police. 10 people were killed, and an additional 14 were injured.

Supreme Gentlemenry[edit]

At first, the Old Media was convinced itself that this was yet another case of mental illness, then as possibly revenge for the Armenian genocide, or possibly the innate violence of autists manifested in truck format. Meanwhile, the retards top minds on reddit and pol convinced themselves that the religion of peace was once again the culprit. The truth turned out to be far purer, far more elegant - it was to be the start of the incel uprising. In an ill-advised post to Facebook, Alek Minassian promised to overthrow the Chads and the Stacies, and praised the Supreme Gentleman himself - conveniently neglecting to note that without thots, he would never get laid.

Needless to say, the feminists lost their shit, and a torrent of vitriol flowed from the old media on the dangers of toxic masculinity and autistics.

An Hero Fail[edit]

Originally, Alek Minassian tried to kill himself. When that didn't work, he tried to get the police to kill him, by pointing a "gun" at the police, and demanding that he be shot. Unfortunately, it turns out the Police are the real Chads, and Minassian really was just another virgin, and he was promptly cucked when the police arrested him without firing a single shot. As a result of this oversight, he can look now forward to conviction, then detainment and anal rape, for so long as it pleases Her Majesty. Fail.

High Score[edit]

Graded Score
Kill count: 10/20 (14 injured)
Accuracy: 8/20 Not bad accuracy wise
Style: 20/20 Most effective use of Grand Theft Auto in Canada
Butthurt: 20/20 Feminists in an outrage; the Prime Minister personally bawled on twitter
Bonus: 20/20 Beta Uprising copycat, trolled feminazis, etc.
Total Score: 78/100 (C)
Armenian Genocides You
See full ranking

Wanted Level

Police Force

See Also[edit]

Alek Minassian
is part of a series on
Soviet Canuckistan
Fuck it's cold, eh?

Alek MinassianAlexandre BissonnetteAmanda ToddAniMatAvril LavigneBrandon CrispCheddar-CheesiaChris ForcandCocaine BabeColin MochrieChuggoDorian_GayDouglas SpinkEvalionFergie OlverJames CameronJasonafexJawsusJdsonicJohn KricfalusiJustin BieberJustin TrudeauKimveer GillLuka MagnottaMarc LepineMatthew de GroodMelina RobergeLosttrapRob FordRyan HaweSharlene SimonWilliam Shatner



Alek Minassian is part of a series on High score pokemon.png
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Single Player Elite Hall of Fame

Adam LanzaAnders Behring BreivikAndrew KehoeAriana Grande MassacreBaruch GoldsteinBrenton TarrantCampo Elías DelgadoCharles Whitman's TumorCho Seung-HuiDevin Patrick KelleyFort HoodJack Gilbert GrahamJames HubertyJeffrey DahmerLuby's massacreMartin BryantMutsuo ToiNice Truck Attack 2016Omar MateenReina Nightclub MassacreSagamihara StabbingsStephen PaddockTed BundyVladislav RoslyakovWoo Bum-kon

Single Player Amateur Division

Aaron AlexisAlexandre BissonnetteAli David SonbolyAnton Lundin PetterssonAurora Theatre ShootingBreda Highschool MassacreBreitscheidplatzBruce Jeffrey PardoCapital Gazette ShootingCharles BishopChris Harper-MercerDallas Sniper AttacksDavid KatzDavid Malcolm GrayDavid LongDeath to Traitors, Freedom for BritainDerrick BirdDeWayne CraddockDimitrios PagourtzisDmitry VinogradovDylann Storm RoofElliot RodgerÉric BorelGabe ParkerGeorge SodiniGian Luigi FerriJames Alex FieldsJared Lee LoughnerJason DaltonJason RodriguezJaylen FrybergJeff WeiseJesse OsborneJiverly VoongJoe StackJohn Russel HouserJosef FritzlKhalid MasoodKimveer GillKip KinkelLam Kor WanMamoru TakumaMarc LepineMark BartonMark EssexMatthew de GroodMichael CarnealMichael RyanMikese MorseMr. SaariNghtmrchld26Nikolas CruzPekka-Eric AuvinenPennsylvania School StabbingRamadan Van ManRandy StairRaoul MoatRobert BalesRobert BowersRobert HawkinsRobert SteinhäuserSayfullo SaipovSaint Petersburg Metro bombingThe Twinkie ManThomas Watt HamiltonTim KretschmerTJ LaneTrystan Andrew TerrellUnabomberWade Michael PageZac PentonZhao ZeweiZug Massacre

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1-14 Jakarta AttacksBoston Marathon BombingCharlie HebdoColumbineHiroshima and NagasakiJews did WTCPearl HarborSan Bernardino shootingSandniggers in ParisSri Lanka Easter BombingsTimothy McVeigh

Civilization and Great Prophets

Adolf HitlerAugusto PinochetCharles MansonHeaven's GateHolocaustJonestownJoseph StalinKim Il-sungMao ZedongOsama bin LadenPol PotSaddam HusseinWacoWorld War II

Banned From Scoring

Asa CoonBilly MitchellBrian Isaack ClydeJohn EarnestLogan ClarkNasim AghdamSam HydeSol PaisTodd RogersWilliam Atchison

Alek Minassian is part of a series on Psychopaths
[It rubs the lotion on the skin or else it gets the hose againInflict suffering]
3g1h-phone3.jpg Spree/One-time Killers:

Aaron AlexisAbdul Razak Ali ArtanAdam LanzaAlex HribalAli David SonbolyAlyssa BustamanteAnders Behring BreivikBaruch GoldsteinBruce Jeffrey PardoCasey AnthonyCho Seung-HuiChris Harper-Mercer Daniel PetricDmitry VinogradovDylann Storm RoofElliot RodgerAmanda KnoxGeorge SodiniGerry McCannIrvin Eugene Helton JrJared Lee LoughnerJason RodriguezJeff WeiseJiverly VoongJoe StackJosef FritzlKimveer GillKip KinkelLindsay Kantha SouvannarathLogan ClarkMalik Nadal HasanMarc LepineMark EssexMartin BryantMatthew MurrayMatthew de GroodMatti SaariMaurice ClemmonsMichael CarnealMichael RyanMichael WoodmanseeMutsuo ToiPekka-Eric AuvinenRaoul MoatRobert BalesRobert HawkinsRobert SteinhäuserSebastian BosseSteve StephensTJ LaneTim KretschmerTyler PetersonTheodore "The Unabomber" KaczynskiVester Lee "Bryce Williams" Flanagan IIWade Michael PageZac Penton

Career/Serial Killers:

Charles MansonChris BenoitHitlerMao ZedongJack the RipperJames HolmesRichard "The Iceman" KuklinskiTed BundyJeffrey Dahmer


Al-QaedaDzhokar TsarnaevOmar MateenSanta ClausTamerlan TsarnaevOsama Bin LadenEric Harris and Dylan KleboldSam Hyde

See also:

Antisocial personality disorderCannibal HolocaustParanoid personality disorderSick fuckMurderJewsPolice Brutality