Aleksandr Pistoletov

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Jump to: navigation, search
Dongcopter pirate exploitable.png
Pants optional for pirates.

Aleksandr Pistoletov aka "Alexander Pistols" aka "Dongcopter Pirate" is a Russian singer/pornstar who mesmerized the internet last Thursday, by swinging his dick to shitty techno and corny pirate movies, and being stickied on /b/ in fall of 2012. Unfortunately, YouTube finally noticed that a video showing cock uploaded in March 2012 was probably against their Terms of Service and deleted it. But, there's a lot more where that came from.


Facts[edit]

Pistoletov, or Александр Пистолетов if you're one of those people, is a minor (thrice deleted bio at Russian Wikipedia) techno "artist" who has a thing for dick-swinging on stage. Watching is considered not gay, since he brings naked girls on stage to dance with during these shows. Pistoletov's mastery of cinema is not limited to dancing and waving his cock in front of a video screen. In this video at RedTube, Pistoletov shows his promise as a hardcore porn star.

Cirno's Perfect Math Class ENGLISH SUB[edit]

Ahoy есть мат!
Bigger than Woodstock.

Original[edit]

Note: TO HELL WITH JEWTUBE AND VIMEO!! NOW ON PORNHUB: [1]

After nearly a million views, YouTube deleted the video because it's a guy swinging his dick. In a glorious turn of events, YouTube restored the video, for the lulz. The video had over two million views, because it's a guy swinging his dick, proving once again, the internet makes you gay. The video was taken down for good, but mirrors exist, and you can just google it to find them.


Despite the efforts of whoever mirrored the video, some do not care for our heroic pirate's presence on YouTube, and will report the video. These people are enemies of the lulz and should be ignored.


Translation[edit]

   
 
Continuation of adventures

Of the battles between yachts All began day after the storm, That is how I met my frigate.

Let the guests of the sea Know the might of the pirate That which rules the entire sea, Such pirate is a true pirate.

Banging cannons, whistling case-shot Battle suddenly begins. Sound of metal, bullets and swords, This is how a deathly battle goes.

Two frigates met In a blueish hell of sea. Our pirate ship Became your trouble.

Our Pirate ship Became your trouble, your trouble

Chorus: Not Somalian And not Caribbean I am a Russian new pirate. And not Brazilian, And not Indian, I am a Russian new pirate. Yes that's who I am, I am a new pirate.

It appeared to us from the sea Suddenly, a sea monster, To our ship it gripped A giant octopus.

It threw everyone off board And sawed off our anchor So the frigate fell apart And sank all the way to the bottom.

But our crew was alright, And got to a nearby island Where they built a new ship, Much stronger and faster.

And so we set out to sea And found that octopus Shot him up with our cannons, Till there was nothing left but bones.


On the internet, quite like the sea, We are rocked, and we rock [rock = load, "we get rocked by waves, we rock the waves" which has the double meaning of "they download us, we download too", an allusion to computer piracy] And download our rights To ships without decks.

If you write something, Or if you invent something, Hold on in your hands, Your copyrights.

Copyright suffocates Like tentacles of the octopus, Call a violator a pirate, Like at the sea.

Pirates like citizens Have their own laws, No one will like Punishments as well.
 


 
 

Pastebin and Pastebin 2

Russian Lyrics[edit]

Hot Russian is hot


   
 

Prodolzheniye priklyucheniy mezhduyakhtovykh srazheniy, nachalos' v den' posle buri, Tak ya vstretil svoy fregat. Pust' uznayut gosti morya vso vladychestvo pirata, Kto vladeyet vsem morem, nastoyashchiy tot pirat. Grokhot pushek, svist kortechi, Nachat boy vnezapnoy vstrechey. Zvon metalla pul' i sabley, Tak idet smertel'nyy boy. Povstrechalis' dva fregata v sineve morskogo ada. N ash piratskiy korabl' obernulsya vam bedoy. Nash piratskiy korabl' obernulsya vam bedoy, vam bedoy.

Ne samaliyskiy, I ne karibskiy, A ya rossiyskiy novyy pirat. I ne brazil'skiy, I ne indiyskiy, A ya rossiyskiy novyy pirat.

Poyavilos' k nam iz morya Vdrug chudovishche morskoye, Za korabl' nash vtsepilsya Vdrug gigantskiy os'minog. On vykidyval vsekh za bort I pilil vsyu nashu yakhtu. Tak fregat razvalilsya I ushel sovsem na dno. No komanda utselela, dobralas' na mestnyy ostrov, gde postroila korabl', po-prochneye i moshchney. I otpravilis' my v more I nashli my os'minoga. Rasstrelyali iz pushek do samikh yego moshchey.

Ne samaliyskiy, I ne karibskiy, A ya rossiyskiy novyy pirat. I ne brazil'skiy, I ne indiyskiy, A ya rossiyskiy novyy pirat. Da, ya takoy novyy pirat.

V internete, kak na more, Nas kachayut, my kachayem. I prava svoi kachayem Na bespalubnykh sudakh. Yesli chto-to sochinil ty ili chto-to ty pridumal, Svoye avtorskoye pravo, Derzhish' ty v svoikh rukakh. Slovno nogi os'minoga Dushit avtorskoye pravo, Nazyvaya, kak na more, Narushitelya - pirat. U piratov kak u grazhdan Tozhe yest' svoi zakony, Nakazaniyu takzhe nikto budet i ne rad.

Ne samaliyskiy, I ne karibskiy, A ya rossiyskiy novyy pirat. I ne brazil'skiy, I ne indiyskiy, A ya rossiyskiy novyy pirat.
 


 
 

— Alexander Pistoletov

Other Videos[edit]

Far from being a one note guy, our hero has other videos on YouTube and other video outlets. In these, our hero displays his dick swinging skillz by swinging his dick to such things as the Mortal Kombat movie and theme song, the Russian Revolution, and so on. As with the video above, mirrors appear whenever the uncensored versions are removed, and you can just google it to find them. In the meantime, this version where Alex wears what appears to be panty hose on his cock.


Mirrored :)

Vid from the 90s

Russian Chant

Mashups/Parodies[edit]

See also[edit]

External Links[edit]

JewTube Logo.png

Aleksandr Pistoletov is part of a series on YouTube.

[CollapseExpand]

A-BC-DE-FG-HI-JK-LM-NO-PQ-RS-TU-VW-XY-Z#

Visit the YouTube Portal

A Message From Chad and SteveA hunter shoots a bearAaronEverettLandAbsenceOfTheAbsentAddison MikkelsonAdeleADoseOfBuckleyAeverine NievesAfr0blu3Afro NinjaAgoraphobic-BlueAJcomixAkai DaliaAkaichouAkewsticRockRAleksandr PistoletovAlex Mae MuhollandAlexander4488Alexander4488/Approved ED PageAlexander4488/Director CommentaryAlexandercarneiroAlex MacRaeAlix HenriolAlphawerewolffAlyallieAmazingplatypus69Amber ButtrumAmerica's Third PartyAngelofthyNightAngry GrandpaAngry Homo KidAngry JoeAngry Video Game NerdAngryLittleGiriAniMatAnonymousNastyAnonymousThoughtAnthony 'A-Log' LoGattoAnthonytoneyAnti-Flagger Association of YouTubeAntiDisneyMovementAntoine DodsonApplemilk1988AquagirlwhitefoxArceusfan2013Ardi RizalArgent009Armake21Armoured SkepticAsalieriAshlea ClaytonASMRAstablaziaAtJap13Atheist Scum UnitedAtheneAttackofthehankAudreynolandAush0kAustin FullmerAutoplayAxelswife1Aydin PaladinAyumihamiltonB WalmerBaaaBags of MoneyBananaphoneBANGSBarefoot NatureBarmer479Bart the GeneralBattimBattle For Dream IslandBee MovieBeebee890BenthelooneyBerdBetabyteiphoneBigBadFurgyTheFoxBikerfoxBill122460Billoon45BLACKB0NDBLACKbusterCriticBlasphemy ChallengeBleedingFireWolfBloodraptorBludshot the HedgehogBlueshineWolfBlunty3000Bob RehahnBodrochowskiBodyXPoliticBoh3m3BoxxyBrandon SmithBravesgirl5BreakBrett KeaneBrian MuellerBrittany VentiBrokeTheInterwebBroncofn90BrookersBurger the Angry CatBURKBus Uncle

CaddicarusCakefartsCallumCartelCansin13CapnOAwesomeCaptainAtheistCaramelldansenCarl FiadinoCartoonjunkieCash MasterCassiusPlejarenAlienChad "Atheist Killa" ElliottChad HurleyChadwardennChancepsychChangeDaChannelCharlestrippyCharlie Bit Me - Again!Cheeseburger JoshCheetawolfChekovsgunCheryl ShumanChismahChloe DykstraChosonNinjaChrissy ChambersChris CrockerChris-chan/VideosChristianHillbillyChuggaaconroyCid SilverwingCid and Conners Excellent AdventureCircaRigelCirnoClay ClaymoreClayranger89CodenamesailorearthCodenamesailorearth/2nd Wikia SagaCodenamesailorearth/2nd Wikia Saga/BlacklistCodenamesailorearth/ED SagaCodenamesailorearth/The BeginningCokeman2423Colleen ThomasCondom SnortingCooking With Jack ShowCopperCabCorey MargeraCoughlan666Crazy GideonCrazyvideosandrantsCriss AngelCRoadwarriorCropperbCrossmackCrunkcoreCrystal ShinkleCubbyCulexorCulexor/YouTubeCuntFuckBitchCupcake DogCutechongCutiePieMarziaCwilliams1976CyanterroristDaddyOFiveDaHaloChickDamaronDamien EstreichDan144xDandCVideosDangermanDanielspengiesDarknessthecurseDarksidered992DarkspeedsDarksydePhilDarkzero63DashieGamesDavid After DentistDavid HockeyDavidsfarmDaxFlameDbootsthedivaDcigsDear SisterDeleting Your YouTube VideosDemcadDenalynnnDerek JeevesDerpaviangottDev-catscratchDigibronyDigitalSurgeonDiGiTiLsOuLDiaper BoyDie AntwoordDips Tobacco RedneckDJ KEEMSTARDLAbaoaquDog264Donnie DaviesDouble RainbowDoubleSAnimationsDownfallDr. OctogonapusDr. TranDr4g0nK1dDraconas RayneDrewtoothpasteDrinkingwithbobDrossRotzankDrp1zzaDylan KimberlinDynaCatlovesme

Sailormoonred1Sam PepperSammyClassicSonicFanSandro L JeanSanjaya/JSargon of AkkadSaturnDOSSaturnine FilmsSave AaliyahScarredFurrySchool Bus FightScott DeiCasScottHermanFitnessSegacampSerialKillaCSesshReincarnatedSeto-Kaiba.comSetsuna ToushirouShane DawsonShane LeeSharolaidShaycarlSherry ShrinerShockOfGodShocked and Appalled CatShoe0nHeadShon TerryShoobySimply OkamiSimply SaraSindragonSirius OrionisSittin On Tha ToiletSkueeSKWEEZYSleepykinqSmell Yo DickSmogon UniversitySmorekitty97SmpfilmsSnackyCakes2008SnowVhiteSokiTwopawSonadowclubSonic X BloopersSony VegasSONYFANBOYSoulbrothanumbuh3SpaghettiosSparkalloonSparkling WigglesSpax3SpeakoniaSpongeBobAndTheLoudHouseFanatic2012SSSniperWolfStarlaglamSteAndKelStealth CatSteve ChenStu makes chocolate pudding at 4 in the morningSuperMarioLoganSuper Planet DolanSusan BoyleSwitchiedaggerSxephilSynchtubeTabbyTablecowTaekesiTails DollTakedownmanTakeShotActionTamias the ChipmunkTammyToeTana MongeauTay ZondayTay Zonday/CRLyricsTechaTedjesuschristgodTeenage Tourettes CampTehbigtoasterTerror PlaylistTh3RoyismThat Guy With The GlassesThatKidDouglasThatkidparkerThdrksideThe Annoying OrangeThe Barney BunchThe CaseyThe DickridersThe Domino's YouTube IncidentThe Failkips Strikes BackThe Fine BrosThe Florida Tweenie RapistsThe Harlan ShowThe Kewl KidsThe Incredible Flying Broomstick GuyThe MoleThe Mulberry EightThe NutshackThe Online GamerThe Rebel MediaThe Slow Mo GuysThe Spoony ExperimentThe Spoony Experiment/Spoony and FriendsThe TrashmanThe Troll HunterThe Unknown AutobotThe Young TurksTheAmazingAtheistTheArchfiendTheAtheistGamerThedramatubeTheHill88ThemaskedanalystTheMidnightLycanroc225TheMrXshowTheMysteriousMrEnterThenintendo3ds2TheQuestionMarkManTherealagerbonTheRedSkullTheresa ShellerTheSockDetectiveTheSuperRobotSoujaOGTheTruthHurtsNetworkThewinekoneThink B4 You SpeakThree Wolf MoonThunderf00tTime MagazineTimmygalTimmysmommy01TinaecmusicTina S.TL;DWToby J RathjenTolstoyKafkaEvskyTom SersonTommy JordanTommy SotomayorTommypezmasterTonettaTonetta777Tony48219TonystockertToonKriticY2KTori BelliachiTotalbiscuitTourette's GuyTrevor RiegerTrey Eric SeslerTriciakittyTrickshottingTriggerfoxTrollsNewsTrollsOfTerrorTrololoTroyriserTruthfulChristianTsimFuckisTunakTurtle PunchTwilightSucksTwizidwickedletteTwiztidAshTwo Girls One FingerTyler GarmanyTyler Redick TheVeganStudent

Portal music.png

Aleksandr Pistoletov is part of a series on

Music

Visit the Music Portal for complete coverage.


Featured article October 22 through 24, 2012
Preceded by
Grace Saunders
Aleksandr Pistoletov Succeeded by
Margerie Brubaker