Alexis Arquette

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Anyone up for a round of the crying game?

Alexis Arquette is actually a tranny.

     Enjoy your cock!   8====D (_(__)


Alexis Arquette (July 28, 1969-September 11, 2016) was an Americunt bisexual transvestite, attention whore, B-movie actor, drag queen, and all around sick fuck. His article on Wikipedia from which this was sourced, had been heavily guarded and sanitized for years by the Tranny Cabal, who get extremely butthurt when any mention was made that Arquette has a penis and revert the truth on sight. In TOW's article on The Surreal Life, some fucktard wrote that "Arquette brings the transgender community increased visibility and awareness with her appearance in the series." This is not only lulzy patent nonsense, but proof that trannies are batshit insane and think that any publicity is good publicity.

The Boring Shit[edit]

He was born Robert Arquette in Los Angeles, California (into the Arquette family) to a Jew mother and a convert Muslim father. His brother David is famous for playing retards, his sister Roseanna starred with him in Pulp Fiction as "that chick with all that fucked-up shit in her face," and his formerly hawt sister Patricia is a dentally-challenged fatty famous for her fangtooth. Since Jews determine who belongs in their club matrilineally, as mater semper nota est, Bobby Arquette comes under the protection of not only Wikipedia's Tranny Cabal, but the Jewish Cabal as well.

Career[edit]

At 22, Bobby Arquette landed his first significant acting role, playing a transvestite (quelle surprise!) Georgette in Last Exit to Brooklyn. Sixteen years later, he went through his own imaginary transition from male to female, an experience that was documented in the film, Alexis Arquette: She's My Brother, which debuted at the 2007 Tribeca Film Festival. This film included no evidence that Arquette had undergone vaginoplasty, so it's safe to assume that he didn't. No pics, it didn't happen. Fortunately lesser known than his siblings, the majority of his film work has been limited to low-budget or independent films. He also appeared in I Think I Do, Children of the Corn V: Fields of Terror, Sometimes They Come Back... Again, and Killer Drag Queens on Dope among 40 other independent pictures/pieces of crap.

One of his more amusing indie roles was as a male prostitute in the film Frisk, a loving story about a gay serial killer who, unlike most gays, wants to love his partners not only on the outside, but the inside as well by dissecting them. Arquette's prostitute character enraged the killer because he was able to take so much big, hard dick without crying out, undoubtedly just like Arquette IRL.

Arquette has appeared in supporting roles in mainstream films, including Pulp Fiction, in which he played the panicked douchebag with the "motherfucking hand cannon" and The Wedding Singer, in which he minced around as a Boy George impersonator, singing "Do You Really Want to Hurt Me?" over and over.

The Buffoonery and the Drama[edit]

JESUS! Check out "her" womanly curves.

On January 31, 2007, Arquette was a featured celebrity client and guest judge on the premiere episode of gay channel Bravo's Top Design, where he was described by one of the contestants as "Iggy Pop in drag". On February 26, 2007, Arquette was promoting the DVD Release of Killer Drag Queens on Dope on The Adam Carolla Show. Danny Bonaduce, a co-host, asked Arquette if he had a penis. The question, and his refusal to answer, sparked an argument between Carolla, Bonaduce, and Arquette, ending in Arquette storming out of the studio and violently pushing sound equipment at them as he was leaving.

Arquette appeared in VH1's "The Surreal Life 6" in which he showed through teary outbursts and moments of sick fuckery exactly why he was a bisexual transvestite instead of a transsexual, not that that state of fail was any better.:

  • His morning routine was shown in some detail, the viewer could plainly see that without all his glad rags and faggotry, he is a balding, middle-aged man who wears fake silicone bra inserts and prefers dresses that hide his fruitbowl.
  • He hit on fellow cast member Andrea Lowell, a former Playboy playmate who currently sells dildos in the middle of the night on the Oxygen channel, telling her that she could be his last fuck before he got neutered. She declined in spite of the high-pressure sales tactic urging her to act now on this fabulous opportunity. This fact has been reverted numerous times by the owners of the Wikipedia article on Arquette, in spite of the fact that it was absolutely true. It must be bad press for trannies.
  • He cried like a 16 year old girl when Tawny Kitaen, real woman, asked to borrow his wig. "Borrow my wig? What the hell does she think? It's a part of me!" Any genuine tranny would not need a wig to still be delusional enough to believe he was a woman.
  • He repeatedly bragged about his giant Jew cock.

Death[edit]

2016 saw Arquette finally kick the bucket, and unfortunately for dear Robert, fate decided to spit in his face one last time by having him croak on fucking 9/11, a day in which a significant percentage of 'Murica would be too preoccupied with FUCK YEAH-ing, hating Muslims, and telling slightly more Jew jokes than usual to care about a crazy tranny "transitioning to another dimension" while surrounded by family members who had to awkwardly watch him try to synch his dying spasms up with the music of David Bowie. The cause of death? Take a wild guess.


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