Munich Massacre

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Not to be confused with the 1972 Olympic hostage taking of the same name

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Ali David Sonboly
Born 20 April 1998
Nationality: Germany  MiniflagGermany.png
Highscore Killed 9, injured 27
Top 50? No, 10th Notable Loser
Style Single player
An Hero? Yes

Yet another fucking mass shooting. We're getting tired of having to constantly shit out these articles, but they're evidently whats raking in the views. On July 22nd, 2016 (the 5th anniversary of Breivik's epic bloodfest), an 18 year old Iranian-German kid named Ali David Sonboly was fed up with being bullied by the filthy turkroaches infesting Deutschland, and the Glock he ordered off the Darknet was finally in his possession. So, he decided to seek revenge against the sub-human scumbags plaguing his nation and ruining his life, by going on a generic, but lulzy little shooting spree. The "tragedy" claimed 10 lives including his own. Thankfully, this kid discriminately targeted non-white undermentsch and cleaned up the turkroach infestation ruining his country, and earned his own ED page in the progress, along with thousands of admirers and creepy ass fangirls like every mass murderer scores. Due to the shooting spree being within close proximity in time to several terrorist attacks in Europe, most people believed the shooter to be a radical Islamic terrorist, but the opposite turned out to be true; David was a euro-skeptic, pro-white nationalist, anti-mudslime and /pol/ lurker. David was also active on Steam, where he trained for his terrorist attack by killing virtual terrorists in Counter-Strike and going on hacking rampages in GTA 5. Ban tactical assault video games.

And then I told them "Diversity is Germany's strength. The Muslims will assimilate to our kulture."


tl,dr they do it for great justice and LULZ. If history has taught us one thing, Germans reading a book always leads to LULZ.

Just a week before the attack, a 17 year old Mudslime decided to go for the high score by using nothing but an axe and his own brute strength. He critically injured a few NPCs before getting shot and wasted by the cops. ISIS claimed responsibility for the attack, like they did for the Paris Mass Shooting that killed over a hundred, and the Nice Truck Attack 2016 that pwn'd 80+ noobs, just a few weeks ago.

The perpetrator was bullied in school for being a fatass, having no friends and playing videogames all day. He decided to take matters into his own hands and would deal with his tormentors in a calm, rational manner.

This autist also thought it was a "special honour" to have the same birthday as Hitler

If Ali had not an heroed and had surrendered to the police he would have been considered a minor (under 21) and would have faced a maximum sentence of 10 years. Germany does not have a death penalty unlike more enlightened nations.

Steam Activities[edit]

Like 99.85% of ALL PC Gamers, David had an account on the Steam gaming service; 3 of them, in fact. Two of his alts got vac b& due to hax0ring, leaving only his main, † NΞΘ† GҽR†™, pure. He is known to have used pictures and names of mass murderers like Tim Kretschmer and Anders Behring Breivik for his steam identity. He was a skiddie who used hacks on Counter-Strike, and hax0red over 9000 dollars in GTA Online. He was known to be antisocial, quiet, and private about his personal life, but showed admiration for Alt-right politics, and great hostility to Turkroaches. He was also in several troll groups on steam, such as Jeff Weise, Anti-Refugee Club, Adam Lanza, Littleton Residents, Columbine High School - Class of '99, etc. A friend of his was arrested after some faggots on le reddit snitched his profile out to the cops, due to having lulzy and edgy shit on his profile. Most of the friends of the shooter who lived in Germany got paid a visit by the cops, had their computers confiscated, or been v&.

Shooting Spree[edit]

Hacked Facebook account

After another day of being beaten up by Turkroach and Arab normalfags, our hero decided to play some Counter-Strike IRL. He hacked a girl's Facebook profile and put up a post offering a free McDonald's meal. In reality, the McDonald's meal was multiple bullets. After killing people in McDonald's, he went and started shooting at people on the street before walking into a nearby shopping mall and continuing the carnage. He then walked into a parking lot and had an argument with a man standing on a balcony.

At around 20:30, he an heroed in front of two cops.


Sam Hyde at it again, the absolute madman
showing off his gun IRL
Proud Aryan known only as "Balcony Guy" trolling shooter.

One German man on a balcony, deprived of any real weapons by Germany's LULZ killing firearms laws, launched a devastating Philosopher Attack leading to the most erudite exchange since the legendary Ludwig Wittgenstein-Karl Popper "careful with that poker Ludwig" debate of 1924.

Balcony Guy: Da ist er der scheiß türke! / There he is stupid turk

Shooter: I'm German

Balcony Guy: Di bist en Wichser das bist du! / You're Wanker that's what you are!

Shooter:Wegen Typen wie dir musst ich mir ne Waffen kaufen um euch alle Abzuknallen! / Because of Guys like you I bought a gun to shoot you all!

Balcony Guy: Ey Scheiß Türke !/ Ey Fucking turk

Shooter: Hör auf zu Filmen wegen Arschlöchern wie dir wurd ich die letzten 7 jahre gemobbt! / Stop Filming because of assholes like you I was bullied for the past 7 years !

Balcony Guy: Scheiß Kanacke ! / Fucking Sandnigger !

Shooter: Ja Was ! Ich bin hier geboren worden ! / Yes What ! I was Born Here !

Balcony Guy: Ey der hat ne waffe here der irre hat ne knarre ruf mal einer die Bullen ! / Ey he has a gun there the Psycho has a Gun ! Somebody already call the Cops !

Shooter: Ich hatte ne Zukumft ! Anders als ihr scheiß Hartz Vierer ! / I had a Future ! Other then Wellfare Guys like you !

Balcony Guy: Oh Halt die Schnauze du Arschloch da unten ! / Oh Shut up you Asshole down there !

Shooter: Wegen Arschlöchern wie dir war ich ganz lang in Therapy !c / Because of Assholes like you I was very long in therapy !

Balcony Guy: Da kommt sicher ne strafe für dich ! / There sure will come a punishment for You !

Shooter: Ich hab nichts getan ! Halten sie the Schnauze man ! / I did nothing wrong ! Shut the fuck up man !

Balcony Guy: Ey du wirst sterben du verfickter Idiot !/ Ey You will die fucking Idiot!

Shooter: *Fires at the püoeple on the Balcony*

Balcony Guy : Ahh Wichser ! / Ahh Wanker ! muffled possible Deckung/ Cover

Shooter: Drops Magazin and possible reloads and begins to walk away

Balcony Guy: Screams a ballade of racial slurs and insults at him at him

Note: Anybody with a passing familiarity with German knows the scheiß means shit or shitty. Probably Google translated.

Argument, Act II.[edit]

To the surprise of nobody, Cuckistan decided to potentially v& Thomas Salbey for standing up against the shooter. The video footage of him arguing with the shooter has gone viral, bring in thousands of supporters and haters. In an interview, Tom said “All I had was a beer bottle to throw at him, but if I had a gun I would have shot him in the head.” He is now being investigated by the faggot pig polizei, and will probably face over 9000 years in a concentration camp for not staying in line with Politically Correct faggotry.

Kebab Removalist[edit]

It turns out that Ali D was a good guy greg all along, as he exclusively targeted turkroaches and other shitskins. Throughout the rampage, only one ethnic german was injured, probably by trying to play "hero" and defend the subhuman filth. Online, Ali was known to harbor admiration for Naziism and held extreme hatred against Turkey and her peoples. Ali's final solution will go on to garner positive net gains for Deutschland; when the AfD and other right-wing groups seize power after Angela Merkel is hung drawn and quartered, it is expected that a statue of our hero, Ali David Sonboly, will pop up somewhere. White Devils who are unplugged from The Matrix will nevar forget the contributions Ali made for Germany. Whilst most Germans are self hating fags who fuel their own extinction (immigration, white genocide, etc), Ali, the true aryan, went on to prove himself to be the TRUE German. Ruhe in Frieden! ;-;


This type of mass violence does not happen in other advanced countries.


— Obama who apparently does not include Euro countries as "advanced".

All I had was a beer bottle to throw at him, but if I had a gun I would have shot him in the head.


— Balcony Guy being awesome.

France will have to learn to live with terrorism.


— French Prime Minister Manuel Valls, surrendering without a fight like a true Frenchman.

...multiculturalism + Islam does not work.


— Sir Anders Breivik stating the obvious.

I'll give you something if you want, but not too expensive.


— Sonoboy cleverly enticing kids into a McDonald's with offers of free food.

You know the drill. Pray for blah blah blah and blame guns and send positive tweets of unity. #Munich


— Beth Palacios Twittering

He was a nice boy. Very quiet. I don't think he ever had a girlfriend. He just recently started taking SSRI antidepressants.


— Description of every shooting spree teenage male ever.

List of Bullies Pwn'd[edit]

  • Gulliano Kollmann, 18 Pedo bear too old.png
  • Dijamant Zabergja, 21 Pedo bear too old.png
  • Armela Segashi, 14 Pedobear mourning small.png
  • Sabina Sulaj, 14 Pedobear mourning small.png
  • Huseyin Dayicik, 19 Pedo bear too old.png
  • Can Leyla, 14 Pedobear mourning small.png
  • Sevda Dag, 45 Pedo bear too old.png
  • Selçuk Kiliç, 15 Pedobear mourning small.png
  • Roberto Rafael, 15 Pedobear mourning small.png
Anders is disappointed in you!

Graded Score[edit]

Graded Score
Kill count: 9/20
Accuracy: 9/20
Style: 20/20 Self Kebab Removal
Butthurt: 20/20 Full media coverup, many lulz
Bonus: 20/20 Lured the victims into McDonalds
Total Score: 78/100 (C)
Grand Theft Auto IRL
See full ranking

Wanted Level

Vice Squad


Obama joking and laughing about it.

The shooter in action

Commentary. Includes hilarious reading of the exchange.

Conspiratard whore 'investigates' it

Turns out he was obsessed with mass shootings


See Also[edit]

External Links[edit]



Munich Massacre is part of a series on National Socialists
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Munich Massacre is part of a series on Psychopaths
[It rubs the lotion on the skin or else it gets the hose againInflict suffering]
3g1h-phone3.jpg Spree/One-time Killers:

Aaron AlexisAbdul Razak Ali ArtanAdam LanzaAlex HribalAli David SonbolyAlyssa BustamanteAnders Behring BreivikBaruch GoldsteinBruce Jeffrey PardoCasey AnthonyCho Seung-HuiChris Harper-Mercer Daniel PetricDmitry VinogradovDylann Storm RoofElliot RodgerAmanda KnoxGeorge SodiniGerry McCannIrvin Eugene Helton JrJared Lee LoughnerJason RodriguezJeff WeiseJiverly VoongJoe StackJosef FritzlKimveer GillKip KinkelLindsay Kantha SouvannarathLogan ClarkMalik Nadal HasanMarc LepineMark EssexMartin BryantMatthew MurrayMatthew de GroodMatti SaariMaurice ClemmonsMichael CarnealMichael RyanMichael WoodmanseeMutsuo ToiPekka-Eric AuvinenRaoul MoatRobert BalesRobert HawkinsRobert SteinhäuserSebastian BosseSteve StephensTJ LaneTim KretschmerTyler PetersonTheodore "The Unabomber" KaczynskiVester Lee "Bryce Williams" Flanagan IIWade Michael PageZac Penton

Career/Serial Killers:

Charles MansonChris BenoitHitlerMao ZedongJack the RipperJames HolmesRichard "The Iceman" KuklinskiTed BundyJeffrey Dahmer


Al-QaedaDzhokar TsarnaevOmar MateenSanta ClausTamerlan TsarnaevOsama Bin LadenEric Harris and Dylan KleboldSam Hyde

See also:

Antisocial personality disorderCannibal HolocaustParanoid personality disorderSick fuckMurderJewsPolice Brutality

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