Amy Dickinson

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Jump to: navigation, search
Hey! Big Thumbs Up.jpg This article isn't lulz just yet, but its coverage can spark a lollercoaster.
You can help by reverting people who delete shit, and vandalizing their user pages.
See this article on Google? Want to add something? Join us!
Lollercoastersmall.gif
What? This article needs moar tips on trolling.
You can help by adding moar tips on trolling.

Amy Dickinson is an advice columnist where unworthy attention whores or trolls flock to her for drama. These pedobears pretend to be children with academic problems. Sometimes, they claim to be adults with marital problems.

People who ask for advice are people who are articulate which is a common characteristic of attention whores. Since most people who ask advice are attention whores themselves, they forgot that Amy is famous and will leave it open to all-commers to read and pity the fuck out of the attention whore which only serves to generously feed the troll (which is only Amy). They like to stir controversy and pity for the *tourists* who do choose to read it. The attention whores don't like to use their name, so they like using words that describe what they are feeling, which only stirs more pity!

Amy responds to these attention whores in the most respectful answer so her *readers* won't be one bit offended and won't suspect Amy of being a troll herself.

Disclaimer: *She uses the term reader to refer to those tourists who have no life but to read about other people's problems!*

Examples of attention whores asking for advice[edit]

Dear Amy: I am in ninth grade, and I cannot handle the workload at school. It is difficult, and I feel I don't receive support from school. I have tried to do well on tests, but I keep failing them. I'm afraid I will fail for the year. What should I do before the school district sends me to the alternative school? I don't want to be referred to go there. It is known as the "dumping ground" for at-risk students.

— Sad freshman

(Doesn't state rather the attention whore is a girl. But it's usually the girls who bitches the most!)

Amy's take:

Dear Sad: You should get your parents and academic counselor involved in this issue right away. This is a big challenge for you, but you are in the best position to express and describe what is going on. Go into the counselor's office and ask him or her to set up a meeting with your parents and teachers.

There might be academic programs at your school that you don't know about that are better suited to you. You should be tested to see if you have learning issues that can be addressed.

Ultimately, your school may not be able to serve your academic needs successfully. There might be a charter school or other school in your area that is a better fit for you. The adults in your life should really step up to help you find out what's going on, but you're going to have to start the process by admitting what's happening and asking for help.

As seen below: The tourist responds by blaming the school system for the girl's problem.

   
 
lw1 should report her problem to the school. she does not say if she has told her parents, but if not she should. lw1 seems to be saying her difficulties at school are long standing, and academically she is not doing well. I hate to say this, but the school/and or teachers are negligent of this student. What should have happened and must now happen without delay, is that the student should be seen at a diagnostic and assessment center if the school has one to determine the nature of the students problemm,then an IEP or individualized education plan would be developed on a comprehensive level with the student, parents, teachers and relevant others, to meet the students needs in a comprehensive way. What a shame that lw1 who somehow comes across as bright and articulate should continue to suffer unnecessarily-tantamount to systemic abuse. I hope the parents will step up to the plate to support their daughter if they have not already done so. A shame I say, a shame on all those who have allowed this to go on so long.
 

 
 

—dbutterflee, A tourist responding to the girl who is failing school!

Dear Amy: I am a 34-year-old woman and am in a relationship with a man. We've been together for about a year now. He has two children from a previous relationship.

The other day I brought up the subject of having a child with him, because I don't have any and would love to be a mother soon. He flat-out told me he did not want to have any more children.

I'm not sure what to do. I am in love with him and he says he loves me but that he does not want to have any more kids.

What should I do?

— Worried Woman

Dear Worried: This may be the single most challenging issue that couples face as they contemplate their future.

When someone gives you the benefit of his unvarnished view, and when he expresses this with frank honesty, you should believe him and then make your own choice based on the information he has provided.

It's not as though your guy is inexperienced or ambivalent. He has children and is certain he doesn't want to have any more.

I have heard from many women who have faced this. If they compromised or buried their desire to have children for the sake of the relationship, almost to a person they have reported regretting this choice.

You need to determine if your desire to be a mother can be satisfied by any role you might play in your guy's kids' lives. If not, you should reconsider your future with him.

Surprisingly most of them are females who complain about life!

Troll seeking advice[edit]

   
 
I am a 19-year-old guy. I have very little social life and I spend much of my time either playing video games or on my laptop, usually surfing the Internet, and occasionally I read and do some writing.

I am in college and I do have a few college friends, but I can only talk to them before, during and after class. Outside of school, I hardly talk to them or any of my friends from high school.

I know that I can contact many of my friends via phone, text, e-mail or Facebook, but I need a reason to contact them since I am not a very spontaneous person.

As a result of the little social life that I have, I have never had a girlfriend. When I walk around the college and see other couples, I wonder if I will ever have a personal, intimate relationship with a female.

Is it still possible for me to have a personal relationship with a woman? What can I do to improve my social life?
 


 
 

—Lonely and Worried, A 19-year-old male troll!

Amy comforts the troll by responding:

Dear Lonely: Burying yourself in video games or surfing the Web in your free time provides a place for you to hide from actual encounters with people. This is both the cause and also a possible antidote for your social issues.

To meet people outside of class with the goal of forming friendships with them, you have to take a brave step outside your laptop's comfort zone. If there is a study group, join it.

College campuses are great places to join organizations with people who have similar interests. At the beginning of the semester, your school will have an "activities fair" where campus clubs promote their activities. Get involved.

Your time spent trolling the Internet is also giving you material to use to connect with people. If you see something on The Onion that you think is hilarious, pass a link along. When you're on Facebook, read other people's postings, "like" their posts and comment on them.

How to be an attention whore or troll seeking advice[edit]

  1. Complain to people which nobody cares about you.
  2. Be the most self-centered female (or pretend to be one) where friends around you don't seem to care.
  3. Profit!

Here is Amy's email to send your lulz to: askamy@tribune.com

Amy's archive of her drama[edit]

The tourists commonly respond to the attention whores in Amy's archive of dramas. See here: [1]

Link to her Wikipedia article[edit]

Portal trolls.png

Amy Dickinson is part of a series on

Trolls

Visit the Trolls Portal for complete coverage.