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Andrew Brunell

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The Worst Fucking Time to be Woken Up

STOP CALLING ME!!!

At exactly 4:20am on May 22, 2009, a series of IP Relay Phone calls were made to just about every person who lived on South Lynn St in the small unknown town of Fountain Hill, Pennsylvania. The calls were made by an unemployed man with nothing better to do than harass completely innocent and unwitting families between the hours of 4:20am and 6:00am. Because as we all know, this is absolutely THE WORST FUCKING TIME TO BE WOKEN UP. This man turned out to be Andrew Brunell, and when his identity was uncovered, they hauled him to jail, where, with great poetic justice, he was subject to multiple unwanted intrusions in the deepest dark of prison night.

IP Relay Calls

The guy who invented IP Relay probably wanted to help foster peaceful communications between two natural enemies--humans with ears and humans without. The idea was that the non-eared would type out a message to someone, and an IP Relay employee would call the recipient on the phone and repeat the message word for word. The target could then say peaceful words in return, and the IP Relayer would type these for the deaf guy to see.

This article contains quotes from some IP Relay calls. IP Relay apparently involves special terms like these:

GA - Go Ahead (like when they say "Roger" or "10-4" on the radio. But the deaf can't hear "Roger" or "10-4", so they use "GA".)

QQ - Question. I guess deaf can't type question marks, they type QQ instead.


   
 
Tuesday, 2009 May 26 (06:03:19)

My IP Relay: (side conversation) tell this faggot
My IP Relay: that he
My IP Relay: better stop doing tell him that he better
My IP Relay: stop doing this
My IP Relay: before i really get involved send GA
RnRVacation: fuck off GA
My IP Relay: (calling for supervisor assistance, please hold)

 


 
 

—info


What Really Happened

Basically, it all started when some fag named Adam, sent an IP Relay prank to Andrew Brunell. The message included a rendition of their favorite song, "Oh Swastika"

                   OH SWASTIKA (sung to the tune of OH Christmas Tree)
   Oh swastika
     Oh swastika
     you stand for hate and killing jews
     making lampshades out of skin
     hail all nazi supermen
     swastika, oh swastika
     oh heil mein fuherer Hitler

Upon receiving such a ridiculous phone call, Andrew proceeded to jizz in his pants. Never having received an IP Relay call, he immediately performed a google search, which led him to Encyclopedia Dramatica. There, he learned the ways of IP Relay GA.

Andrew proceeded to call his parents, whom are anti-social and catholic. His parents assured him, that if he called again, they would call the police. At which point Andrew did the only thing that anyone would do, call every one of his parent's neighbors over 9,000 times.


   
 
Sunday, 2009, May 24 (04:44:01)

My IP Relay: (hysterical) why do you keep calling meQQ GA
RnRVacation: why do you keep picking up, fucking moron GA

 


 
 

—info

Andrew was threatened several times that the police would be called. But due to the fact that he is Bi-Polar, he did not heed these warnings, because everyone knows that the police can't be called on God.

Andrew Goes to Jail

Oh no's!

Eventually, the police did in fact get called. A warrant was issued, and records were obtained from the Telecom company that the calls were made from. These were traced to his AIM account, which was linked to a Yahoo e-mail account, which for whatever negligent reason included Andrew's real address. Justice would soon be served. The Fountain Hill police department called Andrew several times. Not thinking the situation was very serious, Andrew ignored the calls, thinking the cops would get bored and leave it alone. Unfortunately, Andrew's brother sought revenge and attacked -his- neighbor, slaughtering them with at least 100 IP relay calls, claiming to be from Andrew Brunell himself. When Andrew's neighbor threatened to evict him, Andrew was unable to convince him that he was not the one making the calls. At this point Andrew turned himself in because, quote- "There's just no reason to get my neighbors involved". When Andrew was asked to explain himself he said "I did it because I thought it was hilarious and entertaining". Which proved beyond a shadow of reasonable doubt, that Andrew Brunell did it for the lulz. He was then charged with 72 counts each of Unlawful use of a computer, harassment, lewd and lascivious harassment, stalking, and terroristic threats. These charges meant serious jail time.


Aftermath

After six months in jail, Andrew was finally released with two years of parole, and three years of probation. He now spends his days ferociously begging his girlfriend for sex, and reading ED. And even though the calls were still hilarious and entertaining, it becomes less and less worth it every day, now that he will most likely die alone.

Who is RnRVacation?

Beats me. RnRVacation is the ED user who created this page, and he's the guy who quoted all those IP Relay calls. It sounds like he's begging for attention, so if you want to give him some, I'm sure he'll be pleased.

See also

External links


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