You're a young, up-and-coming conservative politician who rallies for men's rights, libertarianism and family values. You've just been endorsed by the fundie Family First Part for some bum-fuck-nowhere seat in parliament. It looks like all those years of misogyny, bonsai growing and right-wing activism has paid off. Except for one thing, you're still a virgin. But luckily a fourteen year old girl has tried to initiate sex, and has asked for nude pictures. So you send her said nudes. Fuck.
Andrew Quah always had a taste for drama. Growing up a fat, scarred asian boy in a white-as-Christmas area of Sydney, Australia, he had always felt a bit displaced by his peers. Early on, he channeled his frustrations into growing bonsai plants and opera singing. During high school, frustrated with his Student Representative Council (seen by him as a left-wing puppet of the school administration), he formed his own Independent Student Party to run for election. Not surprisingly, the party had only one member - himself. Failing to get elected to the SRC on the independent ticket, he settled into a life of scholarly activities, bottling up his anger until being dropped into the left-wing world of Sydney University.
—Former Classmate on Andrew Quah
At Sydney University, Andrew became active in the Liberal Allies student political party and was elected to the Student Representative Council. He ran for President of the council in his second year, and was soundly beaten. His time was then spent campaigning for men's rights, against political correctness, and for Voluntary Student Unionism.
After over twenty years of abstinence, Andrew was feeling the pain. His bonsai, student politics and musical composition would not suffice. Not even becoming President of the Family First youth division was enough to satiate his desires. He was even a school teacher and politician. Fortunately, though, some tricky trolls from his University who decided they'd had enough of his faggotry posed as fourteen year old girls and extracted nude pix from him. In Australia, exposing yourself to minors is an offense, but the partyvan has not come to reward Andrew with sweet prison rape yet. We can only hope.
Andrew Quah had secured preselection to run for a seat in some shit neighbourhood in the upcoming Federal election. Unfortunately, his nude pix were leaked during the election season, and national coverage ensued with hilarious puns like, "Meet Family First's Smallest Member". Every Australian now knew Andrew Quah, and his penchant for exposure to children. Goodbye schoolteaching job. Goodbye political career. Hello lifetime of tending bonsai plants. Needless to say he lost the chance to run in the election.
But Who Was Penis?
During a media interview, just after deleting his Facebook, Andrew proceeded to blame everyone but himself. Several stories arose, including shoops and drugs, but in the end, his rambling about fringe conspiracy theories over his political assassination only implicated himself.
A legal firm that advertises, "We are now open on Saturdays in Parramatta," has tried to have all offensive material removed regarding Andrew's dick from a blog. Regardless, in the true style of a Dramacrat, the author has refused to remove the material, stating that "he deserves it."
Then fall Andrew
- Log of Bored of Studies drama
- Highlights of the event
- Sydney Morning Herald article with witty title
- Tabloid article on the subject
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