Angel Locsin

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File:1darna angel bodyshot.jpg
Angel Locsin, fighting against injustice on the world wide web, and selling herself for $5 after a long day's work.

Angel Locsin, also known as the Filipino Steve Hodder-Watt, is a Filipina prostitute, drug dealer, hooker and a dirty skunk. More importantly, she is a crusader of justice on the Internet, and Twitter-favicon.png uses her Twitter account to launch attacks on web pages she deems unsavory or offensive to her people.

Having stumbled upon ED's article on Filipinos (Or rather, the Philippines as a whole), she declared "Guys, turuan natin ng leksyon ang mga racist na ito! I am proud to be a Filipino!" (Translation: Guys, let's teach these racists a lesson! I am proud to be a Flipfag!) (REAL TRANSLATION: Guys, follow my lead while I love these guys long time!/Guys, follow my lead well pleasure their cocks), and launched a vandalism campaign against the article with over 70 thousand monkey filipino followers at the ready. However, being proud to be Filipino is like being proud to be a Jew or an Abbo: It sounds great among your ethnically-similar friends, but white people know that you're just a lowlife Spaniard-tainted newfag chink.

At the end of the day Angel proves that all the piety of Filipinos is feigned. If they really cared about religion, they would spit upon this used-up whore that sells her flesh to Western magazines as just punishment for being a harlot. But instead they all do whatever she says, just as soon as they finish raping their daughters and selling the sloppy seconds to white men.

Early Life and Career[edit]

File:Angeleva.jpg
Angel is watching you masturbate.

Locsin was born in a dump by the name of Santa Maria, His father is a dog(askal/stray dog)deep in the untamed Philippines. Her parents separated when she was 14 years old (Presumably, because not even her mother could stand her whining), and she continued to live with her father, who taught her lessons about her outer beauty as he had his way with her innards/As she began leveraging her experience as a child prostitute for auditions in commercials and television, her father kept her from signing contracts with shows that he did not approve of. Historians believe this is when she began to become a moralfag, hoping to gain her woof woof father's approval by crusading against that which did not meet his strict standards.

File:Angelarmpits.jpg
Scaring off her French fans with her shopped pits.

She eventually landed a role as the starring character "Alwina" in Mulawin; a generic Flip fantasy show about winged homosexuals fighting for foreign cocks. Locsin would learn important lessons during her time in the show, like how to boss around her staff to do her bidding.

She has since landed roles in more "respectable" programs and films, all of which still suffer from poor production values thanks to Filipino technology still being a goddamned decade in the past. It's a wonder she could afford to outsource her website's design to whatever company here in the states put it together for her on a Filipino actress' budget, and even more amazing that she manages to maintain her Twitter using her 56k modem.

Vs. ED[edit]

ED is "well-known free-post website", says Spot.PH

One day, while reading her favorite Flip news source, she came across an article about ED's article on the Philippines (Talk about a slow news day). After having her translator slowly read it back to her in her native tongue, she became quickly outraged, and whined about it on her Twitter.

Locsin abused her power as minor celebrity to rally her fellow Flips against the page, resulting in a surprise vandalism spree that ended with the article being "Permanently Locked". While her fanbase scratched their selective heads trying to figure other ways to take the article down (Blissfully ignorant to the fact that vandalism is pointless), sysops struggled to figure out exactly what the fuck had just happened. In a rare turn of events, it would be bloggers who first managed to track the attacks down to their source, and who provided coverage of the events leading up to and of the attack.

File:Filipinocookies.jpg
It's hard to imagine someone getting so worked up over candy.

What's worth noting is that a large number of Locsin's Flip followers had the better sense to realize that ED is, in fact, a satirical wiki, and actually urged Angel to end her tirade. However, their suggestions went unnoticed by the rest of the mob, who eager to please their idol, blindly agreed with her and agreed that ED was written by the devil. It is this percentage that makes up the majority of Locsin's followers, and who would go on to vandalize the page and post tweets in her honor. Naturally, now that she herself has her own article, they will inevitably return to attack the hive, and we the worker bees will have to defend it in the name of our God.

Galleries[edit]

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External Links[edit]

Official

Fansites

Blog Coverage


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Angel Locsin

is part of a series on

Taking Down ED

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Distinguished Individuals

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Noble Internet Entities

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Glorious Civilizations

AboriginesAustraliaChinaMalaysiaPhilippines

Related Subjects and Methods

CensorshipDDoSFree SpeechGet a LawyerHackingMake a PetitionNotify the FBISerious BusinessSOPAThe Græt Niggercide of Old EDWhen I find your faggot assWriting an article for UncyclopediaYou vs. ED

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