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Angry Joe

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Note: The audio in this particular review was fucked to all hell, and Joe didn't even try to fix it.

Joe Vargas (aka Angry Joe) is one among the festering shitpiles of video game reviewers on That Guy With The Glasses He is of Puerto Rican heritage, so that makes him half-beaner. The batshit insane Joe produces a multitude of videos such as Let's Plays, movie reviews, angry rants, first impressions and the most popular, his Angry Reviews. He is known for being a connoisseur of Superman merchandise, movies, and games. He has made a couple of cameos in Nostalgia Critic, TGWTG's To Boldly Flee, and Kickassia. He is also a Youtube partner, making a bit more Jew gold than most people on TGWTG.

He's also Spoony's best friend lover, which explains a lot.


   
 
I'm funny! I really am! The way I scream at the camera like Pewdiepie is divine comedy. It's not like I sucked Doug Walker's dick clean to get a spot on TGWTG!
 

 
 

—Angry Joe on his content

As most youtube "celebrities" do, he makes shitty vlogs (note the apparent neckbeard) that are mainly him having a nerdgasm over video games involving superheroes, or trying to sell merchandise. He also promotes kickstarters that either suck and have no purpose or are a complete scam. Does that sound familiar?

Contents

Beginnings

Several years ago, Joe produced and published his first Angry Review, the beginning starts as a monologue saying how he is the defender against shitty nex-gen games. Although the video only has 65000 views, he still somehow got popular.

The Angry Joe Show - What it's all about

Angry Joe,
about to prolapse.

Get it? He's angry. DURR HURR HURR HURR. Angry Joe (Powerword: Joe Vargas) is a spiked crewcut homo beaner, that essentially serves as TGWTG's answer to the AVGN or as a placeholder until they can nab someone more popular, who is stupid enough to stay as long as this guy.

He is the not-recognized son of Germán Valdez "Tin Tan" and likes to portray himself as a brave and righteous hero that fights the good fight against the big evil gaming corporations, and believes he is the voice of all gamers on the internet. He is aided in his crusade by his loyal fanbase, the so-called "Angry Joe Army", who will buy anything he tells them to buy, gloating about their combined purchasing power. However, he has proven himself more than willing to screw his fanbase over by stealing their ideas and begging them for various kinds of services. Not to mention the fact that he thinks "fighting The Man" means jizzing over the hottest 1st party property out on any given week and ignoring the Indie Gaming scene entirely. Naturally, as original as video game reviewers can be, his trademarks consists of the same Superman shirt and a theme song shamelessly ripping off G.I. Joe.

In Mr Vargas' defence, he is quite possibly the hardest working Mexican on the face of the planet. Joe manages to spew out at least ten videos a day for TGWTG, all of which will be viewed by no one due to them all being the same fucking thing. If you've seen one Angry Joe video, you've seen them all... and they're all shit!!!

Joe's usual video consists of him pretending to become enraged over some insignificant segment of a video game/recently released movie... for ten minutes (all encased in a slew of shitty green screening and after effects). When it is quite apparent (either from his lack of acting ability or true opinion) that he clearly doesn't give a fuck IRL and is only making this pretend emotion to make moar monies on Youtube. Sadly, the only people to call him out on his pretend emo faggotry were the members of Spoony's forums who've presumably been banned for saying anything but blind praise to Spoony's friends. Still, for the rest of the Internets, Angry Joe fails harder than the very retard he imitates.

Recently, Joe went from having the most effects-laden show of the entire TGWTG crew to actually upgrading his show. Much more impressively however, he brought on a sidekick: a busty blonde chick. Despite the obvious fact that she was acquired in the course of human trafficking from Tijuana, Joe has on his show a chick who is light-years out of the league of any other TGWTG fan or contributor. Sidekick Lisa Foiles has her own upstart video game review show on The Escapist, and predictably enough it is shit.

Unfortunately, due to a total lapse in US border control, he sadly wasn't thrown back over the border to Mexico during his recent trip to Nevada to film the 2nd Anniversary video.

Also, his moustache makes him look like a faggot, but you already knew that. How else do you think he got put in charge of Blistered Thumbs?

Angry Joe vs. Geoff Keighley

For years like most stupid gamers Angry Joe made a huge deal about the Spike TV VGAs being awful and a misrepresentation of gaming culture. Yes this show is indeed shitty, but neither the industry or the actual audience watching cares to throw a tantrum like Joe does. Nobody cares if they win an award and don't promote it as much as an actual award like the Game Developers Choice Awards. Life goes on and more games are made without any alterations from the show. Joe doesn't feel that they fucking care about your petty concerns as a gamer and wants to be your voice, which is apparently the voice of an annoying douche bag spic with a faggy mustache who's the son of your cleaning lady and wants you to keep him entertained until she's done fucking your dad in the next room. So all you hear is stupid ranting and dumb nitpicks in front of a green screen about something he has zero control over.



Even Spoony is too stupid to understand when someone fucks up. Of course Spoony's gonna suck up your dick, you dumbfuck.

Since there wasn't enough evidence to prove that Joe is incapable of being a reviewer or having any outside contact with normal people, Joe was invited to the 2010 Spike TV VGAs. Instead of being grateful as being recognized from his 5th rate site as an actual journalist, he decides to make a video where he pisses on his host's face. Geoff Keighley all around nice guy and professional journalist thought it would be funny to fuck with Joe. So instead of deleting his email and ignoring him forever, he grants him his invite. In another video update Joe considers this a huge blow against him. Joe now asks of his fans to write questions to ask Geoff in a 15 minute interview he was promised. After all being a professional journalist Joe couldn't come up with his own questions and do his own research before walking into the lion's den known as the Spike TV VGAs.♠


So Joe sets out for the show without any preparation to spit hot fire about his retarded agenda. When Joe and his gay camera man arrives we see that he is put in the dead last spot for the press and Geoff doesn't want to even talk with him. After all Geoff is a busy man and he's got to make sure this entire show runs smoothly and could wait until after to talk with Joe. Joe is so frustrated that he can no longer wait. Eventually he convinces some girl to make Geoff talk with him where Geoff tells him he's got a few minutes which Joe claims it was two. From this moment on we see the worst gaming journalist interview put on film as Geoff tears this rookie's asshole in half like a phone book, all while Joe seems to be constantly on the edge of crying like a little girl. Joe then bitches how he let everyone down and is a complete failure, but it was not his fault.



The outcome of this weighs in with the drooling dipshit fans who think Joe was absolutely right and Geoff was an asshole. Joe is apparently considered a misunderstood hero who's rights have been trampled upon. Anyone who's not part of TGWTG, knows about journalism, likes videos games, or is considered a normal human being think Joe is the biggest retard in the world. Not only did Joe burn any bridges with getting future invites to the show, but anyone in the video game industry that sees this will forever pan their site from being considered as journalists. So all outside sources from TGWTG start to throw their opinions about Joe back at him without the risk of being instabanned from Blistered Thumbs. Joe starts to pick a fight with one called imagesfromapoet no less than a half hour after the video was uploaded. She later blocked her comments, but we've saved them all for you.

A girl on the internet thinks you're an insufferable retard, Joe.
How a real neck beard gets angry.
"Stop Posting Busy Street related stuff you fucking asshole!"
Tim Buckley haters give a shoutout to Angry Joe
Bitch doesn't know who the Oracle is.
I bet you didn't know Doug can give good head.

Previous Video  |  Next Video

How to make an Angry Joe review

  • Dress up like a fucking retard and make a two minute intro sketch before unveiling the game's box art.
  • Steal content from real video game critics and talk about the game.
  • Make sure to put in footage of the game while shouting something relevant, that's always funny!
  • Make another sketch with the "Corporate Commander", screaming about how greedy other companies are. Which is ironic considering the shit Joe Vargas gets away with.
  • Give your score, usually a 9/11.
  • Upload and watch your audience of 12 year olds and bronies howl in laughter and receive jewgolds.

That's it. That's all you need to do to make an Angry Joe review, talent free money making scheme.

HEHEHEHEH I NEVER GET TIRED OF THIS MILKED JOKE!!!

Content ID system rage

In December 2013, 62 of his videos were flagged by JewTube's new automated Content ID. He later made a video explaining how he quit his job at Taco Bell to make videos, an act he called "smart".The copyright problems has caused him epic butthurt because he realizes that he has to get real job again, instead of making money off his Aspie fan-base by copy pasting other peoples videos and adding his own bean&cheese commentary.

Joe on the verge of becoming an hero.

"Gimme my Shekels Nintendo!!!1!"

February 2015, our old friend Irate Iglesias purchased himself a nice shiny Wii U, and by purchased in reality his mindless fans literally bought him a Wii U despite all the shekels he gets from being a talentless hack. As with every gift he gets, he decided to show it off for even more ad revenue. Not today, for once the Big N caught wind of Joe's shitty videos, they immediately took action into triggering Seven Shekel Salvador into a chimpout by copyright claiming his playthrough stream of Mario Kart 8, cutting off his stream of easy coin.

Acting all surprised, Joe was shocked that Nintendo was targeting him, even though this wasn't anything new and had been happening for over a year now and only now does he realize this. Later, he tries to steal Nintendo's Gold Coins by uploading a stream playthrough of Mario Party 10. Guess what happened next?


Did you guess he would resolve his copyright issues and provide quality entertainment for his fans as well as get a little revenue for his hard work? No you dumbass cunt! Instead, he makes another hissyfit honestly believing that the same thing wouldn't happen again, and proclaims that there will not be anymoar Nintendo videos evar! (Just a side note, ads are enabled on his rants. Suck it Nintendo!)

To make matters worse, he deletes the two Nintendo playthrough streams he uploaded, saying it's free advertising for them! Allow myself to explain why this is complete hypocrisy on Joe's end and is just making him look like a spoiled self entitled brat. Are you listening faggot? Good...now listen carefully...eariler in the article, it is explained that back in December of 2013, 62 of his videos were claimed. Not taken down, but claimed, as in he won't get revenue from them, but they're still watchable, and he didn't take a single one of them down. Suddenly, it happens again with Nintendo related videos, and he removes them because they got claimed like the 62 vids in the past. Because of this, his fans who want Nintendo videos from him and reviews are now being punished, because Joe can't make money off of them. This just proves the point that he doesn't care about the consumer, he's just there to make a quick buck just like all the other TGWTG hipsters.

Caught in the act

Joe creates illegal lotteries, makes money off of suicide victims he barely knew by monetising memorial videos and makes money by making "game reviews" despite knowing next to nothing about them. /v/ hates this asshole for a reason. Also, he always wears the same shirt and jacket, the disgusting fuck.


Why can't I have my moniez?!
Nothing is sacred to this son of a bitch, nothing.

In case you're a Joe white knight and you thought Joe was somehow above Encyclopedia Dramatica standards, think again. Like a dirty, flea-infested coyote, Joe rolled himself in the corpse of a fellow (ex)YouTube-celeb called "JewWario". He monetized a memorial video of said person and got caught out.

He lied and claimed it wasn't monetized (proven to be a liar in the video below) Claiming to be best friends with JewWario, despite meeting him once ever and never mentioning him on his own channel ever or having him as affiliated channels, he cried like a bitch on his twitter.

Obviously, his fanbase would blindly defend him without acknowledging the facts. So because of this, Angry Joe gets his youtube money and walks away a free man. Not surprising seeing he is a dirty money grabbing Jew/Mexican hybrid.







Profiting from the dead

Continuation

Mad Carlos is a pretty cool guy eh, cries on YouTube and doesn't afraid of anything

Previous Video  |  Next Video



Breakup with Girlfriend

In his recent Twitter posts, Joe announced that he broke up with his girlfriend. Maybe it was because his micropenis couldn't satisfy her or she was just in it for the money the entire time. Some argue that it was a typical Mexican
Camwhore, anyone?
relationship, with Joe yelling at her during livestreams and always blaming her for his problems. Shortly after the breakup, Joe made the post public on his twitter before quickly deleting it. Hundreds of fans commented on the post before Joe removed it by offering him condolences, beer, and blowjobs in the back alley of a McDonald's play place.

Realizing the shitstorm she was about to get from Joe's fans, she promptly deleted her Twitter account. Any retard with eyes looking at her instagram account can see she was desperate for anyone besides Joe's little taquito.


Screencap of her instagram pictures


The GamerGate Takedown

Last Friday, as per Joe's annual tradition of making cliche top 10 lists for easy jew golds, released his 2014 Top 10 Gaming Controversies. (Skip to 31:48 for his opinion on Gamergate)

The video was the standard TL;DW mishmash of important gaming events that happened during the year. Of course, with it being 2014, you knew he had to talk about Gamergate despite his background with TGWTG. The result? The standard Anita whiteknighting and liespreading that everyone is used to by now and doesn't give a shit about. Everyone, except Machinima Youtuber YouTube Favicon.png BroTeamPill, who has been a very vocal member of Pro-GG. When he saw Joe spewing his bullshit, he knew he had to take action and silence him once and for all. So at once, BroTeam issued a DMCA takedown on the video, silencing Joe for a good twelve hours. Between those twelve hours was a copyright battle between Enraged Enrique and the BroPillPoppers. And what did BroTeam use to claim copyright on Joe? The Zoe Quinn war banner from back in August because it had their logo in it.

While this might seem like petty bullshit, in the email exchange between BroTeam and Joe, it's clear that Joe is still all about getting his money, and couldn't give a shit about anyone who might be mistakenly perceived in a negative light. Sort of like how Joe could be mistaken for a credible reviewer and decent person.

ZoeQuinnWarBanner.jpg
   
 
I think this is a tactic by you for attention and publicity and myself and maker are fully prepared to defend our rights if you peruse this matter and refuse your claim on my video.
 

 
 

—Joe, failing at English his second language

Got hacked

On the date 13th of March in the year 2016 of our Lord, it seems that Joe finally got what was coming to him, as someone figured out his YouTube and Twitch passwords. And being a Jew, and not actually doing it for the lulz, they asked for donations before thankfully Archive today-ico.png deleting everything on Joe's shitty Twitch account.



AngryJoe Twitch Announcements Twitter Grill.jpg
Wonder why all his 12 year old fanboys ran to the stream

Only a shitty video was uploaded to Joe's YouTube channel, before he got it pulled. Unfortunately lightning does not strike twice, and all of Joe's horrible drawn-out rants about topics he knows nothing about are still available on his YouTube channel. But fortunately the video still exists, as the internet does not forget. It features our favorite rapper Moon Man alongside horrible spelling, leading to the conclusion that it was probably Joe himself who did all this, as he is utterly dyslexic and doesn't know how to video.

Meltdown

On the 31st of May 2016, Joe released a review of Overwatch. Many fans were unhappy as he had not produced a proper review in a long time, instead doing stupid movie reviews and trailer reactions with his fat neckbeard buddy and Mexican friend other joe. Following a massive backlash from the mostly teenaged fedora tipping atheist fanbase, he let lose with some absolute gold. Trigger Warning: This is massively TL;DR.

Angry Joe's meltdown for all to enjoy. Trigger warning: TL;DR


   
 
So Fucking pissed looking at the comments after working hard to get this out. I'd love it if each person complaining that this review is a "Rapid Fire Review" and not a full fucking production with silly costumes and special fx just fucking unsub right the hell now and get the fuck outta here. Even if I end up back at 60,000 subs id be a lot happier and less stressed out 24/7. I have a fucking life and this is the FIRST MONTH in 7 years that I was away from my house for 2 consecutive weeks. 2 FUCKING WEEKS (while still trying to work every one of those days) and this is the shit I get.

During this month 10 high profile games came out. Battleborn, Homefront, DOOM, Stellaris, Overwatch, Total War Warhammer, Hitman: EP, TMNT, Witcher 3: Blood & Wine, some other shit. Not to mention all the Movies like Civil War, Xmen, and other crap - all while im on fucking family vacation im still working my fucking ass off ignoring my family to try to get out Reviews for you guys. FUCk sakes.

I KNOW it comes from you guys liking what I do, but you have to wake up and realize that IM NOT IGN nor GAMESPOT. IM NOT A MULTIMILLION DOLLAR CORPORATION WITH OVER 257 employees around the world. No matter how good you think my reviews are I CANT MAKE ONE FOR EVERY GOD DAMN GAME THAT COMES OUT. and im tired of trying to. IM ONE FUCKING GUY, with a life and a family that wanted to see me once in awhile and these videos are completely FREE. If you dont like the fact that I got slammed this May then unsub instead of complaining like a moron about your unrealistic entitlements.

This is a SHOW. AngryJoeSHOW and it will always be even if I lose everyone and only have 1137 subscribers. i HONESTLY WISH i could just be a like every other 7 million sub exclusive lets play channel and put out nothing but segments of a few hours of a game i play with like 4 videos a day from a single few hour session, it would be a hell of a lot easier if I had structured my channel that way from the start. But I didnt, I wanted to make a variety of content, no matter how hard or elaborate it was without thinking the consequences if it took off. Not just Angry Reviews becuase 12 yr olds who think im a machine and dont give a shit demand it or to hell with me.

If you arent an asshole in the comments and really do want to see Angry Reviews more often then just wait till sometime after E3, where things will have calmed down a bit and ive caught up. shit.
 


 
 

—Angry Joe, living up to his name.


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See also

External links


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Other People and Sites That Got Involved:


People: Videogame "Journalists"Videogame ReviewersAdam BaldwinCameron BakerAnne RiceWilliam ShatnerJoss WhedonHideki KamiyaBoogie2988JonTronEgoraptorChris ChanAhuviya Harel/ADF-Fuensalidam00tA Man in BlackNick DentonEllen PaoDerek SmartDarksydePhilMrRepzionSuey Park‎Richard DawkinsRichard StallmanNerdcubedJoshua IdehenVordrakFilthy FrankJim SterlingValisHDShoe0nHeadTotalBiscuitTheamazingatheistThunderf00tJulian AssangeWeevIcze4rGeorge R.R MartinStephen ColbertRoosh VNorthBySouthBaranofIronholdsGabe and TychoMaddoxFaggot Who Started OWSSceptre‎TheRalphRetortChris KluweTauriq MoosaParkourDude91The Wannabe DickridersJewWarioTodd in the ShadowsLordKatAngry JoeMaxofs2dCowkittyAsalieriJerry PeetCraig BrittainSir WulfingtonAlex WuoriAndrew HussieTransFrequencyDylann Storm RoofSargon of Akkad.

Sites: RedditVoatRationalWikiSJWiki76chanTwitterWikipediaTGWTGBoingBoingVICEGOGTheMarySueStormFrontScrewAttackThe EscapistBuzzfeedSalonPatreonJezebelSomething AwfulTV Trope4chanEncyclopedia Dramatica ForumsEncyclopedia Dramatica.

Others: FacadeCards Against HumanityGNAABill Waggoner CrewMSNBC/CNN/BBC etcThe GuardianElectronic ArtsIntelAdobeGoogleShirtgateMillion Dollar ExtremeHatredPostal 2BaphometAnonymousGamersEverybody else on the internet and their dog.

Minor Related Pages: Censored article about Brianna WuList of people to annoy with your bullshitSarah Butts FFshrine chatlogsList of people defending Butts' pedophiliaThe DMCA butts sent usMilo Yiannopoulos - The feminist versionShanley Kane's butthurt rantThe Great Gawker Implosion of 2015Skype Con Leak.



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