Angry Asian Man
Angryasianman.com is a web site created and maintained by a butt-hurt Azn man who is angry at you for disrespecting chinks. The site is a source for many lulz -- often updated daily, and a shining example of how most Azn males are butt-hurt internet tough guys, closet racists, and completely obsessed with anything and everything Azn.
The web site is basically a news source and archive for every possible instance of racism against Azn's in America (whether real or imagined). If a White comedian makes fun of Azn's in his/her stand-up routine, you'll hear about it first on Angryasianman.com. If Rosie O'Donnel says Ching Chong again, you'll damn well hear about it on Angryasianman.com. If anyone, anywhere, says anything remotely negative about Azn's, well... you get the picture. Because after all, Azn's are flawless! Doesn't every non-Azn realize that Azn's need to be respected?! That's racist!
Some Reasons To Be An Angry Azn Male
- You wake up, look in the mirror, and you're still Azn.
- The all too common Asian personality deficit-disorder.
- Being an adult man, yet still looking like a child.
- Penis too small for standard condoms.
- 5'4", 120lbs.
- White girls don't like Azns, they prefer the soft boydicks of their white fathers
- Azn girls really don't like Azns.
- White guys love underaged Azn trannies.
- The only Azn's on TV are on the Azn Channel. Except the 24 hour bukkake channels.
- Home alone playing video games on a Friday night. But everythang's alright, dem instant noodles gonna get you high...
- Bruce Lee the only "cool" Azn in the history of Azn's.
- Your first name is white, your last name is chink. Example: Jeff Wong. Interestingly, it has been discovered that chinks fresh off the boat will pick white-person names. Their choices are always lulzworthy: would you pick Marjorie if you had a choice? They would.
- Only capable of making friends with other Azn's.
- Gross black on azn girl pornos. Lots of them.
- White people eating up all your delicious Azn foods.
- Jackie Chan being the only Azn people know the name of.
- Your staple diet consists of dog, horse, aborted babies, and unicorn penis soup.
- You make everything ever made, but didn't invent any of it (probably, maybe..).
- General lack of creativity/originality (any 'creative' behaviour will be a close variation of something the Asian has already witnessed - this is Asian mimicry).
- You ran out of rice.
Examples of Racism Against Azn's
Cho Seung Hui -- Ok, maybe what he did was wrong, but did they really have to mention he was Asian?? The American media is so racist!
Ching Chong -- it's ok to make fun of German accents, French accents, Italian accents, Irish accents, etc. but it's NOT ok to make fun of Chinese accents! Don't ever say Ching Chong around me, bitch, or I'll fuck you up! I'm an internet tough guy!
Tom Cooze -- Why aren't there any Azn male sex symbols in Hollywood? How come they're all White, Latin, or Black? How come short, skinny, hairless Azn guys can't be sexy too?
An actual article from Angryasianman.com...
How To Be An Angry Asian Man
- Frequent Internet forums and constantly start new threads about Azn's. Example -- in a Tennis or Golf forum, only start new threads about Azn players. In a movie forum, only start threads about Azn actors, etc.
- Pose as a White girland say things like "I think Asian men are sexy!"
- Be an Internet Tough Guy and boast about Azn superiority. If all fails, mention how China is becoming the next World Superpower. Slam dunk!
- Fail to convince yourself that women really like small, thin dicks.
- Stick it to Whitey by getting Straight A's! That'll show him!
- Wonder why you never get laid, when all you do is study for tests and play video games.
- Create a web site obsessing about Azn racism.
- Try to vandalize every Azn article on encyclopediadramatica.rs
- Watch the movie "Oldboy" and proceed to take "revenge" on random people.
- Shoot up your college.
- Make your own movie about white girls liking Asians and then hawk the shit on YouTube and Myspace, Reply to all criticism with diplomacy and Logic
- Constantly obsess about other races.
- Flood forums about how superior Asian culture is.
Famous Angry Asian Men
- Kenneth Eng
- Kim Jong Ill
- Cho Seung Hui
- Chai Vang
- The Taiwanese Legislature
- The guy who sits next to you in Physics203
- Toshiro Mifune
The Rants and Raves of a Racist Angry Asian Man
One of the lulziest places to find angry Asian men in action is the Craigslist Rants & Raves bulletin board (San Francisco). A butthurt little prick posts there regularly under the moniker of "Asian Pimp," usually after 11 PM every night. Due to the time of these postings, it's been speculated that he might be an angry Chinese bus boy or Kenneth Eng.
His racist rants are always in large fonts (so that everyone can read them!) and all feature the same recurring themes: Asian guys are superior, White guys have small penises, and White women love Asian men.
Throughout most of 2005, he posted his racist rants daily until someone finally posted his docs and exposed him as Jeff Lee, a Chinese student at Stanford University. This caused the Asian Pimp to disappear for most of 2006 until he recently resurfaced with a vengeance.
The following are some of his TL;DR rants from the Craigslist board:
—Preparing to be extremely disappointed on Christmas morning
- The Black Sentinel The black person version
- NegotiationIsOver The vegan version
- Powerful Women International The feminazi version
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