Animal Wilson

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Note: this is an article about an Encyclopedia Dramatica user. For more information, please see the appropriate user page. To leave this user a message, please visit their talk page.
Note: this is an article about an Encyclopedia Dramatica user. For more information, please see the appropriate user page. To leave this user a message, please visit their talk page.
Note: this is an article about an Encyclopedia Dramatica user. For more information, please see the appropriate user page. To leave this user a message, please visit their talk page.
Note: this is an article about an Encyclopedia Dramatica user. For more information, please see the appropriate user page. To leave this user a message, please visit their talk page.
Note: this is an article about an Encyclopedia Dramatica user. For more information, please see the appropriate user page. To leave this user a message, please visit their talk page.
   
 
I may be human, but inside I'm just another animal.
 

 
 

"Oops, did I accidentally upload tons of selfpix? Time to ask people to please not use them!"
Totally not an attention whore
Another shirtless pic

Bryan "Animal" Wilson is an unusual ED subject, in that he desired an Encyclopedia Dramatica article, but then successfully sought the removal of said content, instead of dealing with it like other people who know when to quit. After writing a crap stub on himself, complete with a demand that other EDiots complete it for him, he successfully lobbied for certain content to be deleted, along with the article itself, despite the work of other EDiots (or "janitors" as he calls us). Contrary to expectations, Bryan subsequently intensified his attention whoring by adding images of himself to the aquaphilia and foot fetish articles, and generally changing from a pretty cool guy into a raging dick.

EDiot

Wilson in 2014
Sampling fruits of the forest

Our friend has a long history with Encyclopedia Dramatica, having had an account at least since 2008. A ride on the Wayback Machine reveals that Tfo had requested n00dz, but it is unclear whether they were delivered.

 
 
Hey! My name is Bryan. I'm 22, 6'0", 136 lbs., and I live in Arizona. I am straight with slight bisexual tendencies, so watch out! lolz...That means that I will go all the way with a girl, but I only go as far as cuddling and making out with other guyz. That just means I can love everyone! hehe ♥ ♥ ♥

Oh and one more thing: I rawk!! ♪ ♫

I'm here to add to ED's many lulz. So far I've contributed to Cigarskunk's page of furfaggotry and my own. More lulz to come! Talk to me! I love meeting new pplz, and I'm really cool once you get to know me. I support Anonymous' war against the Scifags (they srsly suck) and I also support the emo/scene style, skaterz, grunge & rock n roll music, sexual experimentation (it's only beautiful if it's done by beautiful ppl though), and a lot of other cool shit. I'm against religion, patriotism, veganism, PETA, homophobia, racism, any discrimination (if it's a joke then it's cool), and other uncool shit. Tell me how much you love or hate me! If you wanna know my MySpace, just ask me, as well as my email or anything else you wanna know. I luv you allz!!! (heart)
 


 

NirvanaNChains22, in 2008

Fast forward to 2014, and Bryan's triumphant return to the current and best incarnation of ED as several socks, at least one of which is a sysop., and Encyclopedia Dramatica is under new management... a challenger appeared, and dropped a turd of an article, ostensibly about himself, onto our beloved site. This crapstub consisted solely of the following, plus some now dead links:


 
 
I love this site and spend a lot of time reading the funnyness that is all over it. I would be honored if you made a satirical article about me the same way you do everyone else after checking out my YouTube page, Instagram, and self-written biography. An article that is both truly laughworthy and fapworthy.
 

 



 
 
Use everything I offer about myself as ammo. No one in person has the balls to do it, so I want you to let me have it. DO IT FAGGOTS. I will proudly link it on my official profiles once it is a complete masterpiece. Thanks and happy new years.
 

 


Because it is our job to improve content, the unloading of this crapstub autobiography dumped the task of writing his article into the laps of other EDiots, who haven't even heard of this particular faggot. Surprise was had by many, and penis pix were added to Encyclopedia Dramatica's growing cache of naked furries, when "Animal" uploaded his n00dz last Thursday.

After the article was up for a while, it was suddenly deleted and nobody knows why. Now that Bryan has taken to being a gigantic faggot riding a high horse with a dildo for a saddle, this article has been restored and lovingly updated. Its original title was "Bryan 'Animal' Wilson, an appropriate set of initials for someone who bitches about content he uploads himself.

WHY OH WHY WON'T ANYONE DOX ME? ;_;

We know this much! Get ready for pizza motherfucker!

Nobody took him up on the offer to dox him then, and nobody cares enough to do it now. This surprising challenge to find his dox is nothing new for Bryan, however. It turns out he has been doing this kind of shit since the encyclopediadramatica.com days.

Superior to you

Peace, love, and superiority

According to Bryan, all decent content on ED is due to his presence. Without his excellent writing, ED would surely fail. In addition, he proudly boasts to the welfare-drawing populace of ED that in addition to being beautiful, he is also loaded, because you've never donated a dime, have you? If you have donated, it's because the only decent contribution you can make is a financial one, you unwashed peasant.

Not content with boasting about his superb prose and financial fealty, he took to EDF2 to accuse an 18 year old girl of attempting to dox him. Why anyone would want to dox someone who adds uncontroversial content remains unclear. Despite not being associated with the worst of ED, he is now under the shelter of his tinfoil hat, shivering in fear of being doxed by what appears to be a young EDiot.


   
 
lol no we can't because you're a fucking joke. the fact that you were run off the forums and called out for being the pseudo-intellectual dickriding janitor that you are should have been the eye opener for you. the only reason I'm giving you the attention that you've been trying so hard to get from me is because you're so naïve and transparent and it genuinely amuses me. and since you're doing it publicly, I'm sure there's an audience out there who's also laughing along. so please, continue adding fuel to your flaming image. btw there's some unsigned posts and unframed quotes i think you missed. vermin 01:11, 19 September 2014 (EDT)
 

 
 

—Dickriding accusations? From the man who made this?

Not content with embodying the Jacknstock theory, with his authorship of all the "good content" on ED, Bryan decided to grace EDF2 with his less than endearing presence. He was welcomed with open arms there, to the relief of every other facet of the ED community.


   
 
i like that you are painfully aware of your rodent-like features, name yourself after said rodents, and then to affirm your insecurity post nothing but pictures of your muscles you only got to make up for your unfortunate facial features. great job, bucko. it's almost like nobody draws that conclusion within ten minutes of looking at you.
 

 
 

—Trevor Fitzroy

Animal Wilson/Sickpuppy

In yet another attempt to get the trolls to dox him, he used a sock to create the page above. Later he would explain that it was in fact his roommate who did it!

How do I private messages?

Someone asks why a new user for sysop! Holy crap she must be attempting to dox me!

After returning Encyclopedia Dramatica again, Animal headed directly to IRC, however his stay was short-lived. Due to his superiority complex, it wasn't long before he was locking horns with several of IRC's titans on a daily basis. And when he wasn't doing that, it was well known that he would hit on younger members in IRC channels, even PMing shirtless selfies to them. Yes, seriously. So to nobody's surprise, Animal Vermin was told to GTFO.

Once he was no longer hanging out in IRC, Animal's mental health was quickly deteriorating as his victim complex went into overdrive. While he happily volunteered information about himself in early 2014 in hopes of getting an ED article, his paranoia kicked in sometime around August.

Animal had already hinted that he contributed to Encyclopedia Dramatica.com, and later made a point to remind everyone of the fact with his Sickpuppy account. Yet when someone added his picture to their personal fap vault, he seized the opportunity to complain to zaiger that he was being stalked! Oh how terrible! By now, like any other IRC reject, he joined the forums which only hastened his mental instability. And when someone posted the same picture again, Animal quickly accused them of being an obsessive stalker. A sole forum member liked his post out of sheer pity. It wouldn't be long before everyone on the forums would see that he was in fact a victim of bullying from IRC, any day now.

Sadly for our beloved Animal, his victim complex failed to yield the attention that he so desperately craved and in desperation he decided to accuse a third person of stalking him, who was simply curious how someone with an account less than a couple weeks old got sysop on the wiki. Animal was enraged by this probing into his personal life and re-posted the private conversation for all to see, hoping to expose a global IRC conspiracy against him.

Despite noone giving a shit, he proceeded to spread his butthurt across the forums.

It turns out Animal was still raging in private over phobos, like everyone else on the forums does, and he was busy sharing phobos faildox. When confronted with this, he attempted to backpedal and claimed he was it was all a test the entire time. However, the post above to the right confirmed that Animal was lying through his teeth again.

Vermin.png
Verminfag.png

Not a furry

Fursona

The profile he provided to ED staff indicates that he is a heterosexual stoner furry, 6'1'', about a buck and a half in weight. Animal's well-toned physique indicates he is probably good in the sack, and we are looking forward to seeing porn with his partner soon. He claims to be a member of the furry fandom, but this remains uncertain. Perhaps certain furries are willing to come forth and add their yiffchats here, but until then, we only have his word, and his fursona, to attest to this damnable offense.


   
 
I will proudly link it on my official profiles once it is a complete masterpiece. Thanks and happy new years.
 

 
 

—We are waiting on those tens of pageviews

After YouTube shut down his channel for being thinly veiled foot fap material and gasping, which is apparently against their terms of service or something, Bryan set up shop on Xtube. DELETED


   
 
I came through...hope you came too (don't lie meow!) Now perfect my article and preserve it so that I may forever be etched into the epic history that is ED. I fucking love you all
 

 
 

—Bryan, dickriding, you say?

Aspiring musician

Nuvola
Moar info: Animal Wilson/Music.

Animal fancies himself a talented vocalist and has previously used such dubious skill primarily to flatter, or "dickride" in his vernacular, various sysops.

Gallery of attention whoring

Police.gif Mentioning any of these images will result in you being labeled a stalker!


We know what Vermin craves.

At first, our hero tried to get away with posting only shirtless semi-nudes, PG-13 shit, as seen below. Little did anyone realize, what would happen next...

Unexpectedly, our subject delivered nudes on January 2, 2013 much to the glee of hipcrime. After much wailing and wringing of hands by the mods at our forums, this article you are reading now was deleted. After waking to find this atrocity, the article was restored to its former glory, and a cheer came from EDiots everywhere, especially the gays and furries.

Cute, right? Totally heterosexual though, except those videos where he shows his collection of sk8r feet. Someone with such an extensive collection of images of the male foot would never be considered a homosexual, right?

And being a tryhard

See also

External links


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Animal Wilson is part of a series on

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