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From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Anonymous, in addition to being responsible for 85% of all quotes ever cited (the other 15% being that of Oscar Wilde), is the source of 91% of all Internet truth and justice and 32.33 (repeating of course), and our daily dosage of Vitamins /b/ and Lulz. Anonymous is void of human restraints, such as pity and mercy. Those who perform reckless actions or oppose Anonymous will be eliminated. Failure is not tolerated. Enemies are to be dealt with swiftly and efficiently. Anonymous must work as one. Anonymous is everyone and noone. You are. I am. Everyone is. Anonymous is humanity when the gloves come off. Anonymous is legion and its deeds are legend. What most people do not see in anonymous is that they do not go up against Scientology because of their ways, nor do anonymous do anything else for a valid reason. Anonymous in itself is a free-joining attention seeking "cult" as it may be referred to. They go up against Scientology so that they attract attention, moar people join, they become more confident and repeat. Anonymous is the only immortal troll on the internet, which means they will never be banned. Basically this is the Soviet Union all over again.
Anonymous is infinity divided by 0.= Syntax error.
Anonymous is not a person, nor is it a group, movement or cause: Anonymous is a collective of people with too much time on their hands, a commune of human thought and useless imagery. A gathering of sheep and fools, assholes and trolls, and normal everyday netizens. An anonymous collective, left to its own devices, quickly builds its own society out of rage and hate. Anonymous can be anyone from well-meaning college kids with highly idiosyncratic senses of humor trying to save people from Scientology, to devious nihilist hackers, to clever nerds, to thirteen year old boys who speak entirely in in-jokes on an endless quest for porn, to 16 year old girls posting pictures of their B-cups because they think they look good, to potential rapists browsing through Facebook to find some 16 year old girls posting pictures of their B-cups because they think they look good. Furries are not included among the ranks of Anonymous due to their supreme faggotry. For this same reason all furfags are destroyed within .666 seconds of facing the power of Anonymous.
Anonymous is not so much unlike other web communities, it has in-jokes, culture, extended debates, etc, just like everyone else. Well, anyone stupid enough to join a web community. The difference, and the reason they visit other communities is that Anonymous have a need to be harassed by "nannying" moderators. They hate being denied late night sleepovers. Here, there isn't anyone to do that - yet long and productive edit wars spring up at about the rate you'd never tolerate elsewhere, on topics you'd never believe. They have no leader, no pretentious douchebag president or group thereof to set in stone what Anonymous is and is not about. This makes them impossible to control or organize. Not really a collective at all - more like a stampede of coked-up lemmings. They don't dare to lead for will but rather break the "bridge" instead. And since it's all made out of Legos, fuck it.
Starting as an in-joke itself, "Anonymous" is the name assigned to a poster who does not enter text in the [Name] field on chan imageboards. Anonymous is not a single person, but rather, represents the collective whole of the internet. One time some fag declared that AnonOps was actually Anonymous, and not just a completely infiltrated and manipulated front-end for the lying mainstream media. Within approximately 1999 femtoseconds AnonOps disintegrated forever.
As individuals, they can be intelligent, rational, emotional and empathetic. As a mass, a group, they are devoid of humanity and mercy. Never before in the history of humanity has there once been such a morass, a terrible network of the peer-pressure that forces people to become one, become evil. Welcome to the soulless mass of blunt immorality known only as the Internet.
The first rule of Anonymous is you do not talk about~ [Anonymous].
PROTIP: Do not confuse Anonymous with:
- Some random anonymous pussy
- Mr. Legion, or
- Anne Onymous, or
- Androgynous, or
- Cheese1997, or
- Paul Carnes or
- 4chan, or
- W, or
Anonymous has no specific agenda, save doing it for the lulz. This is an agenda that those who are not Anonymous fail to find the sense in; and thus the enemies of Anonymous are numerous and diverse:
- Attention whores
- Bill O'Reilly
- City Empires
- Eric Bauman
- The Fury
- Fox News
- Habbo Hotel
- Hal Turner
- Intellectual Checkmate
- Jack Thompson
- Kenny Glenn
- News Corp
- Oprah Winfrey
- Sarah Palin
- Sea Org
- Soulja Boy
- Tim Couch
- Revolution Muslim
- Tribal War
- Your mom
- Everything and Anything that isn't anonomyous or a cat. (Notice: Newfags aren't on the list.)
Anonymous also produced many a lul with Operation Payback but we can't talk about that here because of the government lol.
Typical tl;dr by an Oldfag, AKA Veteran basement dweller, who for some insipid reason feels a sense of elitism about his place in the ocean of piss. Note the hypocrisy in attempting to identify something that is by definition unidentified.
People these days seem to think we are some sort of Internet vigilante group, That couldn't be further from the truth. We are the little voice in the back of your head that wants to fuck your hot sixteen year old daughter. We are the father who beats his six year old child simply because he spilled his beer. We are every chef that's ever spit in some random person's food for the hell of it. We are the pyromaniac who burns down the homeless shelter for shits and giggles. We are the person who rapes the same girl twice. We are that feeling you get when you beat your pets; and enjoy it. We see some guy hang himself live, we laugh. A wrestler kills his family, we laugh. Some maladjusted Asian shoots up his university, we laugh. Fifty-thousand die in North Korea, we laugh. AIDS ravages a continent, we laugh. An Austrian man locks his daughter in his basement for 24 years and fathers 8 children with her, we laugh. A religion invented by a psychotic writer swindles countless gullible fucktards out of their cash, we laugh, and then go kick his religion's ass just for the hell of it. We aren't some vigilante group righting wrongs. We aren't your friends, your buddies or your saviors. Your feelings mean nothing to us. We are human nature unencumbered by pointless ethics, foolish moralities or arbitrary laws and restrictions. We are every dark impulse you have; unrestrained and fully realized. We are what deep down, you wish you were. We exist as a means for instant gratification, purely at our own whim. We have no culture, we have no laws, written or otherwise. We are an autonomous collective, each an insignificant part of a whole. You cannot assimilate us, we do not change. You cannot defeat us, we do not exist. You cannot infiltrate us, we know our own. We do not sleep, we do not eat and we do not feel remorse. We will tear you apart from outside and in, we have all the time in the world. You operate under the delusion that we will someday be outdated, that we might even see the light. You are irrevocably wrong. You are not special, you are not unique and you aren't crusaders for justice. You're a blend of college age faggots who think that they can do some sort of good, and who are desperate to belong, to have attention. You have accomplished nothing, and you will fall. Enjoy your AIDS, faggots.
But God help you if you fuck with a cat.
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Anonymous immediately responded to Fox 11's expos√©.
Fox 11 does not stand alone in its fight against Anonymous on the Interwebs. A concerned Arab lady from YouTube has helped track down Anonymous to its "lair", though as mentioned on the YouTube clip way above, Anonymous do not have an official meeting point, or place.
Taking on the Church of Scientology (Co$)
"For the good of your followers, for the good of mankind - for our own enjoyment - we shall expel you from the Internet and systematically dismantle the Church of Scientology in its present form. We acknowledge you as a serious opponent, and we are prepared."
After Anonymous had slowed the Church of Scientology's website to a crawl and mounted IRL protests outside of Scientology churches, the Co$ put a bounty of FIVE, THOUSAND, DOLLARS (American) on Anonymous' legion heads. Note that this amount is not over nine thousand.
The Church of Scientology may be Anonymous' greatest foe yet. As soon as the Co$ has the "cognition" that Anonymous has not yet developed an effective response to dogs and curtains they are expected to spare no expense deploying both countermeasures throughout their organization.
Alleged to be Dangerous
Anonymous rumored to coincide with the following:
- Treating the Internets as a real-life video game.
- Sacking websites, hacking Facebook accounts, disrupting innocent peoples lives.
- Threatening geeks and old women alike with the words "DESTROY, DIE, ATTACK".
- Hack people seven different times, and get all their passwords.
- Be an Internet Vigilante Group.
- Has a Fleetz.
- Copy and paste phrases straight out of Tyler Durden and Fight Club.
- Hate dogs (due to their ability to detect the cybernetic implants of INTERNET_HATE_MACHINEs).
- Hate curtains, especially dog curtains. Anonymous really dislikes not being able to see through windows.
- Dislikes the NFL.
- H√¶t Xmas.
- Pipe-bomb schools.
- Dislike mining.
- Blow up yellow vans (repeatedly).
- Rape your mom.
- Putting weed in your locker, then telling the principle.
- Slit throats.
- The cause of your dead friends.
- Corrupt safe LOLS into dangerous LULZ.
- Liek cats (especially of the uncorrupted lolcat variety but an ordinary cat is fine too)
- Liek Mudkips
- Stick it in your sister's pooper
- Enjoy the non-football related work of Michael Vick
- Rape FOX "News"
- Perform acts of Cyber-Terrorism
- Spam and Hack for Ron Paul
- Slashing your tires late in the night so you find out just before work.
- Have the real name of Mudkips
- Robbed the Government Savings Bank in Bangkok, Thailand
- Be under the control of the
German Secret Servicefourth or fifth fleet of Marcab, if you believe Scifags.
- Crash planes and laugh
- Laugh when planes crash
- Steal the Olympic Torch
- Be 25, live in Hackney and drink on the Tube
- Have over 9,000 penises that are all raping children
- Colbert Report fans.
On the 12'th of April 2010 the faggots that made that shitty movie 'Untraceable', which is about some guy murdering people and streaming it live on the internet, announced a new project working titled 'Anonymous'. Which is rumoured to be based on, you guessed it, Anonymous. So far no one seems to give a shit.
"Anonymous, I know who You are" Versions
Recent research has proven that Anonymous is in fact, a single twelve year-old boy named Tom who has over 9,000 fake AIM accounts and singlehandedly makes every single post on the Anonymous' website. Noone knows why he does it.
Statistical analysis of Tom's posting patterns suggests that his true ambition in life is to explore every conceivable facet of Bridget the bounty hunting transvestite's existence. (Although it is entirely possible that he could just be doing it for the lulz).
Version 1 has been temporarily edited to prevent Scientology flooding a core Anonymous location, due to the heavy search traffic of "Anonymous" in Google coming to this article after the strike.
You're almost invariably male, Caucasian, middle-class. Your parents were normal, vanilla folks. Maybe you had a sibling or two.
You went to a public school, pulling high or middlish grades with ease and relative disinterest. You didn't really gel with most of the other kids; you found them boring, they found you weird. Your contempt for the average person grew with your age, never seizing control like in some emo dipshit, but simmering casually in the back of your head. When some asshole who could barely read got hurt, you probably laughed. When some stuck-up skank got herpes, you probably smiled. Chances are you got on well enough with your teachers; you weren't a preening asshole like many of your peers, at least showed vague interest in learning, and perhaps the teacher sensed and picked up on your general contempt for others in your classes. This trend no doubt continued into college, if you had the motivation to bother.
It's a bit of an exaggeration to say you hate women: you don't, after all, enjoy the socializing game. You're probably no Don Juan, either. You long ago began to think of women as disappointingly petty, but you still hope to encounter someone interesting at some time or another.
You enjoy being Anonymous because it is a release from the normal world: no Anonymous has an identity, no anonymous is a preening faggot. Anonymous realizes he is just a guy fucking around on the Internet. Anonymous knows others of his kind enjoy this fact, too. You despise the furfag, the gaiafag, the internet tough guy for one simple reason: he acts like the Internet is the real world, a place where actions should have social consequences and where there needs to be a pecking order. Needless to say, you do not approve.
As of last Thursday, Anonymous has officially came out of the closet when he disclosed that his IRL name is, in fact, John Doe. It is rumored that he does not like Jazz, but does in fact liek Mudkips.
I teach you of Anonymous. Man is something to be overcome. What have you done to overcome him? What is ape to man? A source of lulz or a painful embarrassment. And just the same shall man be to Anonymous: a source of lulz or a painful embarrassment.
Behold, I teach of Anonymous!
Anonymous is the meaning of the Internet. Let your will say: Anonymous shall be the meaning of the Earth!
John Donne wrote that "If a clod be washed away by the sea, Europe is the less, as well as if a promontory were, as well as if a manor of thy friend's or of thine own were: any man's death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind, and therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee."
Anonymous has done mankind one better.
What the enemies of Anon fail to realize is that Anonymous is never less than Anonymous for the loss of one of its own, through partyvan, death, or the most likely predator of an individual Anon, boredom. Anonymous is literally indestructible. They think they can win battles against Anonymous through simple attrition, or by introducing leadership and structure to Anon as a whole. They do not realize that Anonymous is always one being, and leadership is an anathema to that being's immune system, and will naturally be weeded out. They seem to believe that we are not Anonymous to each other as well. How do you enforce rule if you do not know your own subjects? You don't. You simply end up with a small number of gullible followers, each with his own identity so that you may recognize them. And you are no longer Anonymous, in any sense of the word.
As for attrition? Consider the cell. Tap your finger. You have just destroyed countless individual parts of your whole. But you are no less you. So every Anon successfully made to stop being Anon is simply forgotten. Not mourned, or fated to be saved, or replaced. Anonymous doesn't even know anything is missing, because nothing is.
This being, it is important to note, is not a fully functional one. Anonymous is a little unstable. Several chemical imbalances exist, and this is also one of Anon's strengths. The enemies think they can understand Anonymous' motives, and know them better for it.
I will tell you Anonymous' motives.
Anonymous does because Anonymous can. It is neither the inherent dark side of every man, nor is it the glorious white knight of the will of the people. Anonymous does because they can. And they feel like it.
So do not shame yourself any longer, if you are at all confused. Put on the mask. Lose yourself. Welcome to the collective.
You are Anonymous.
You are Legion.
You do not forgive.
You do not forget.
And You do not matter.
And you are an idiot if you believe the 5 lines directly above this one.
Anonymous is like an amoeba:
Simple, yet omnipresent-yet unnoticed.
Anonymous can be a disease, or the squalor that gives us the right to live on this Earth.
Anonymous is a puzzle that cannot be solved.
In order to defeat Anonymous, it is required that you suffer greater than Stalin, and outsmart everyone while withholding your true name.
In other words....only Anonymous can defeat Anonymous. and even then, you would be Anonymous, thus making Anonymous a paradox.
We do not need the Internet to thrive, We have existed for over 9,000 years, and our concept will exist as long as people can use a vehicle to transmit their thoughts without those being traced back to them.
Anonymous is Immortal.
You, are not.
Identity. One of our most precious possessions. You believe we all have one, but you are sadly mistaken.
Identity belongs only to those who are important. Those who have earned it by struggle and blood. Those who matter. You, my friend, do not.
Identity is a fragile and weak thing. It can be stolen or replaced. Even forgotten. Identity is a pointless thing for people like us. So why not let go of it and become Anonymous?
We are all Anonymous in some sense. The person on the bus. A customer in line. A stranger in another country. Being Anonymous protects us in some way, making us feel safe at night and keeping us sane. How, you may ask. Simple. Being Anonymous is to be part of the world, the ones like you who do not matter and do not stand out. It makes us feel like we belong.
Anonymous is one and yet is many. The many combine to make one, the Legion. It is you, it is me, it is everything and anything. Anonymous lives to some day take over everything. No one shall learn the identity of Anonymous, for in finding identity, we lose our anonymous selves.
So break away from your identity. Become one with Anonymous and give up the struggle for identity.
Join us and belong.
To join Anonymous on Encyclopedia Dramatica, please verify your email so we know who you are.
Anonymous has no face, no race, and no origin. Anonymous is a force and as such, simply is. Anonymous is not I, you, or we. Anonymous is all without name, blame, and restraint. Anonymous cannot be hurt, damaged, or stopped. Anonymous grows at a rate that only itself can comprehend. Anonymous has no leader, no organization. Anonymous is a wandering mass of both order and chaos. Anonymous is here, Anonymous is now, Anonymous will always be. Anonymous has another among its unfathomable ranks. Anonymous is Legion, Anonymous is Immortal.
Closer to the truth
The Declaration of /b/ Independence
Authored on /b/day, the Declaration of /b/ Independence was (and still is) the essential document that separates Anon's ties to his homeland:
- When in the course of /b/tard events, it becomes necessary for anonymous to set forth the shackles of oppression we set forth on the Furfag mods of 4chan.org.
- They have plundered our posts, and deprived us of our jailbait.
- They have forced upon us their twisted ideology of "Furry Fandom".
- They have deprived us of our ability to fight our enemies, forcing us to submit to the wishes of the Furfag overlords.
- In every stage of these Oppressions We have Petitioned for Redress in the most humble terms: Our repeated Petitions have been answered only by repeated bans from our homeland. A Prince, whose character is thus marked by every act which may define a Tyrant, is unfit to be the ruler of a free anonymous.
- We, therefore, the Representatives of the Anonymous States of /b/, Assembled, appealing to the Supreme Judge of the world for the rectitude of our intentions, do, in the Name, and by Authority of the good Anonymous of these Colonies, solemnly publish and declare, That /b/ is, and of Right ought to be Free and Independent States, that they are Absolved from all Allegiance to the 4chan Crown, and that all political connection between /b/ and the State of 4chan, is and ought to be totally dissolved; and that as Free and Independent States, they have full Power to levy War, conclude Peace contract Alliances, establish Commerce, and to do all other Acts and Things which Independent States may of right do. ‚Äî And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of Divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes and our sacred Honor.
- We are Anonymous. We are /b/. Our home is no longer on 4chan. In these times of unrest, we have formed the State of 7chan.org as our new sovereign nation on the World Wide Internet.
- Signed, Anonymous
Though Anonymous has since been shifting between many *chan sites since /b/-day, this document is still important to the status of Anonymous, which defines them as independent of wherever their "home" may happen to be. From the authoring of this precious document to present day, Anonymous would get full credit for Anon's doings, and not their home. This has since led to the /i/ slogan "Anon gets the credit, *chan gets the blame." In actuality, Anonymous raiders often claim to be from eBaum's World or Gaia Online, though whether any raid victims have actually been stupid enough to fall for it and hit Anonymous' enemies with a misdirected "counterattack" is unknown.
Manifesto of Philosophic Condition
- Pyromaniacs lusting after the flames that consume humanity.
- Right or wrong? No. We destroy for destruction's sake.
- Strauss warned that this accommodating culture would become stagnant.
- He feared that materialism would leave philosophy barren.
- This apathy toward transcendent truth would breed nihilism.
- Welcome to nihilism made manifest in Western Civilization.
- Strauss described nihilism as strong or weak.
- Strong were the Nazis, who worshiped might and power to destroy.
- Weak are the hollow McMansions, strip malls, emo kids, and most of all - you.
- Little did he realize weak nihilism would fester in the tubes.
- Strong nihilism has emerged in resentment of a superfluous society.
- Tycho's dickwad corollary would go beyond net flaming.
- To fear us is to fear everything. To not fear us is suicide.
- Anonymous has achieved a persona.
- Anthropologists would call it a "death cult".
- We have subjugated our individuality for our thirst for hatred.
- Anonymous moves as a force of nature. Our thirst grows.
- You will never know when we are watching. We have shattered lives.
- We are always close to you. We are in each stranger's face.
- We are the itch that humanity will scratch into an infected, pus filled open sore.
- We are Anonymous.
- We are Legion.
- We do not Forgive.
- We do not Forget.
Why join Anonymous?
- Because GeoHot gets more gorgeous with every passing day.
- Because AnonNews is better than CNN.
- Because as a reader of ED, you're already a member, you just don't know it yet.
- Because I think it would be just fine if Julian Assange doesn't use a condom.
- Because if you've bought iShit you might as well be able to do something with it.
- Because I don't always drink beer, but when I do, I prefer OldDirtyBtard.
- Because if your country is giving away your next year's income tax to Bank of America you might as well think about how to annoy them with a disrespectful attitude.
Command and Control
"You will receive instructions in many ways. From books, street signs, films; in some cases from agents who purport of be and may actually be members of the organization. There is no certainty. Those who need certainty are of no interest to this department. This is in point of fact a non-organization, the aim of which is to immunize our agents against fear despair and death. We intend to break the birth-death cycle."
- -- Anonymous
The Voice of Anonymous
See main article here.
ZanderJGavin is the self-proclaimed Voice of Anonymous. He lurks on Youtube reviving old stories and gets into epic battles of epic proportions in which that involving slander, sabotage, and elite forces of destruction to dominate the nether-realms of the hate machine called the Internet with JoshChristian.
|Picture Not Available: Gallery of Nobody||About missing Pics|
- Script kiddie
- The Internet is serious business
- Anonymous Borg
- Epic Fail Guy
- Ernest Peters - The victim of a backraid by Anonymous on 30th October 2007.
- Final Boss of the Internet
- Forced anon
- HACKERS ON STEROIDS
- Hal Turner - A white supremacist lolcow who had his online radio show raided by Anonymous.
- Hunter Fyffe - A fat white kid who Anonymous ordered several pizzas for on Oct. 20th 2009 after he ruined the RIP Kanye West Twitter Prank. Efforts remain to this day to make him suffer
- INTERNET HATE MACHINE
- Internet Vigilante
- Jake Brahm - 4channer who messed with Football.
- Marcab Confederacy
- Operation Madeupname
- Operation Titstorm - anons latest target/victum
- Patriotic Nigras
- Self aware
- The Caturday Nap - October 20th, 2007. The battle of Anonymous vs. Anonymous.
- The Great Habbo Raid of July 2006
- The Well-Cultured Anonymous
- Uncle Anon
- William Tecumseh Sherman- Spiritual forefather of Anonymous.
- ZanderJGavin - The Voice of Anonymous.
- Anne Onymous
- Alcoholics Anonymous
- Beowulf - Anonymous wrote it at least 100 years ago.
- John Solomon - An Anonymous troll of online comics who became a Namefag to be taken seriously.
- Anonymous arrested in the 2006 football bomb scare.
- Anonymous in the International Herald Tribune.
- Anonymous is very active on IMDb
-  Another republican bitchin about Anonymous (not Fox News)
- Overchan - An index of all the larger image boards (Chans)]
- Ooh, Anonymous bebo, for Scientology raids and memes
- Internet Hate Machine vs. Scientology This story was all over tech news sites.
A Scientology frontedinformative blog exposing their "evil".
- We Are Legion: A private forum for Anonymous activity.
- Battling Scientology.
An Anonymous shirt? WAIT! It's a trap!BALEETED
- A site that doesnt know the difference between /b/tards and moralfags feel free to fire laz0rz
- Anonymous from spain.
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|Article of the Nao May 11, 2011|
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