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Arborphilia

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MONGO fucks a tree
MONGO contracts VD from 'hugging' a tree
Oooh so sexy!
This delicate palm puts out on the first date.
Prospective arborphiliacs having a voyeuristic moment
The rare female arborphile.

Arborphilia or dendrophilia is sexual attraction to trees, often leading to sexual intercourse, often referred to among deviants as "going green". This includes attraction to both gymnosperms and angiosperms. Some arborphiles are also attracted to bryophytes; however, this symptom is less frequent. Oftentimes, an arborphile will claim saplings as his or her own offspring. Arborphiles gave rise to the phrase "morning wood", and can be observed in their natural habitat of national parks during nocturnal flights of fancy. Arborphilia is among the most conclusive evidence of rule 34.

Dendrophilia

Arborphilia is also known as dendrophilia, which some argue is the more correct term as it does not pervert the language by mixing Latin and Greek as dendrophiliacs don't like perversion. However, those who self-identify themselves as arborphiliacs believe the mixture of Latin and Greek is symbolic of their human/tree romance. The battle of terminology has been fought for eons.

Tree Huggers

Many hippies, in the guise of environmentalism, have embraced the term "tree hugger" as an empowering term just as gays reclaimed the epithet "queer". These tree huggers have even gone so far to protect their lovers that they camp in the branches of the trees while loggers with chainsaws threaten to cut it down. Ironically, these dirty vegans often eat granola because it tastes like tree bark - you'd expect these vegetable lovers to eat lots of meat instead of their dead lovers.

Famous Arborphiles

"This man's sex life consists only of arborphiles."

Links

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Arborphilia is part of a series on Psychology
Antisocial personality disorder Hannibal Lector.jpg Mental illness & Disorders

AcrotomophiliaAddictionAgoraphobiaAlcoholismAlexis Pilkington SyndromeAlzheimer'sAnorexiaAntisocial personality disorderAnthropophobiaAnxietyADDADHDAsperger's SyndromeAutismBimboficationBipolarBorderline personality disorderBug ChasingBulimiaDeep thinkerDepressionDick ImpalementDown's SyndromeDyslexiaEating disorderFactitious disorderFake SchizophreniaFauxlimiaFeminismGender dysphoriaGirl on the Internet SyndromeHeterophobiaHero ComplexHFAHistrionic Personality DisorderHutchence's SyndromeHyperbolimiaInadequacyInconsistent personality disorderInsanityLiberal Butthurt SyndromeLow Self-esteem'Missing White Woman' SyndromeMultiple personality disorderNapoleon ComplexNarcissistic personality disorderNeurotypicalObsessive Compulsive DisorderParanoiaParanoid personality disorderPeter Pan SyndromePost-Traumatic Stress DisorderPsychopathyRetardationSchizophreniaSeasonal Affective DisorderSelf-diagnosisSelf InjurySexsomniaSickfuckerySociopathySocial anxiety disorderSpecial Snowflake SyndromeTrolling Induced Transsexuality SyndromeTulpaUnrealistic expectationsVictim complex

Fetishes:

AcrotomophiliaAquaphiliaArborphiliaAudiophiliaAutogynephiliaBalloon FetishBestialityCarmen Electra complexCross DressingDollfiliaEmetophiliaEmosexualityEproctophiliaFatty Fetish (Female Fat Admirer) • FetishismFoot FetishFurniture PornFurrismGoo girlGuroHeterophiliaHomophiliaInflation FetishJapanophiliaJungle FeverLesbian pedophiliaLotion PlayMacrophiliaMaiesiophiliaMechanophiliaMpregNecrophiliaObjectophiliaOedipial ComplexParaphiliaPedophiliaPlushophiliaPregnant LoliPregnophiliaQuicksand FetishRangerphiliaSpectrophiliaStatuephiliaTrichophiliaVoraphiliaWet and Messy FetishismWetlookXenophiliaYellow feverZoophilia

E-Psychosis:

Chronic Troll SyndromeDeletionismE-goE-PsychiatristE-PsychiatryETDHivemindI-DosingI have a 140 IQIRC DiseaseImaginary girlfriendInternet Disease & Internet Disease ChartInternet poverty delusionsInternet RehabInternet troll personality disorderMega ultra super geniusNerdy Fandom Gateway TheorySex by associationLulz-BlindnessWikipedia's Greatest Hits Diseases

Experiments:

ask.fmBrainwashingHypnosisMilgram ExperimentScientologyStanford Prison ExperimentThe Hivemind Corollary

Sites:

Above Top SecretB/Bodies Under SiegeCYOCChatrouletteDefense Industries OrganizationDeekerFoolQuest.comInkBunnyNeuticles.comPsyke.orgWarpMyMind.com

See also:

American Psychiatric AssociationAngerASMRChild abuseConscienceDreamDSMEnlightenmentIntelligenceLobotomyPsychiatristySerial KillersTake the meat bridgeThe Law of ConformityTrigger Warning