Argentina is an experimental breeding colony in South America, where -according to its masonic locals- Italians are allowed to mate with Spanitards and Jews, and was invented by the Illuminati of France, makes the unique Illuminati country, alongside the United, Honorable and Sacred States.
Then throw some German, British, Arabs, and Irish into the mix as well as the native Indian savages. Then have them all speak a highly offensive form of Spanish with some Italian, English, and German added in, all with a horrible pseudo-Italian accent similar to Don Corleone's. The Argentese have skin grease, curly greasy hair, Jew, drunkedness and a bad temper, and Sadism.
It's usual in Argentina for men to date younger women, but in late years they've been pushing it, to the point where pedophilia is practically legal. The entire population of Argentina are either psychopaths, auto-racist, dorks, lamers, gnomes, pedophiles, or naive tourists.
Argentina has some of the sluttiest women, most passable transvestites, and gayest men ever. There is another article in this comprehensive Encyclopedia that describes Argentina in its most intimate essence.
- 1 Current Rule
- 2 Buenos Aires
- 3 The Argie-Bargie
Falklands War Guerra de las Malvinas
- 4 Guerra en los Caminos
- 5 Borges
- 6 The Country of Balls
- 7 Tango
- 8 Peronism
- 9 Economy
- 10 Notable Argentinians
- 11 Types of Argies
- 12 Use of the word "Negro"
- 13 Achievements (if any)
- 14 Don't BAWWW for Me Argentina
- 15 My face when Argentina
- 16 External Links
- 17 See also
As an effeminate country with a Pink White House, the current President is Augusto Pinochet v 2.0, now with moar AIDS! His policies are illuminated by the grace and wisdom of his waifu Mussolini (indication he might be into necrophilia). Since voting is mandatory, and 51% of Argies are malnourished yet overweight wannabe Euroniggers, there is no possible doubt that Augi 2 was democratically elected through electoral fraud. His cabinet consists of respected fascist plutocrats of the 70s and other prestigious capomafias and cocaine traffickers. Much like in the USA, the opposition is useless and incoherent. One can get an idea of Argie politics by either watching the movie Hoffa while tripping on acid, or by really paying attention to the news.
Argentina's capital city, Buenos Aires (Españolo for "Good Airs" by the native heathens), is filled with crazy bullshit. In the same square foot you may find an hero, a cat, a Mexican, a shemale, and a pretty woman (who is probably underage, so DO IT FAGGOT! This is deep, dirty south of tha bordah). The city is divided in several parts, and getting lost is easier than finding cats on teh internets. If you do get lost, head for the barrios around Boca at night wearing a River shirt and Los Bosteros will offer the quintessentially warm hospitality of their neighborhood.
In 1982, Argieland was under a token Kissinger-Mandated anticommunist dictatorship, with all the torture (including electrocuting of Human Science teacher's genitalia and drowning ppl in their own shit), random rape, and death by crucifixion this entails. They soon realized that something had to be done to distract the populace from the random killings, though. It was then that faggoty leader Leopoldo Galtieri devised his master plan. As less wasted leaders did in the past, he would pay FIFA to let Argentina win the World Cup, and everyone would be happy. However, for no apparent reason, he went batshit insane and decided to go down to teh dockz to gather rowing boats for the Argentinian Military to invade the Falklands.
In at least one month of extremely intense preparation he amassed the following forces:
- An old rustbucket cruiser
- 300 wooden boats
- A bunch of plastic canoes
- A donkey
- Two fucking Exocet missiles because the French got scared. If Galtieri(who was son of stinky Italian immigrants) had anymore, he probably sold them on the black market
Galtieri was known to smoke pot during leadership at the time, because somehow he thought a cruiser from World War II would've been able to sink two aircraft carriers, an entire frigate convoy, and fend off aircraft attacks. It is a fact, though, that the backward sheep-like populace rallied in support.
With his WWII cruiser and his many Injun-powered canoes, Galtieri began his suicide mission. A British submarine sank the cruiser, killing half the crew and ensuring a lot of lulz. The Argentinian planes then swooped in on the British ships, but the old AA cannons on the British ships shot down dozens of them, their pilots either dying or getting buttraped repeatedly in captivity. The Argie bombs were so full of fail that they didn't go off and instead got lodged in the ships' hulls, though some British bomb disposal teams got blown up while trying to make them safe. Argie planes also managed to bomb some British transport named after a faggot named Sir Galahad, burning sailor Simon Weston to the point where he was doomed to look like something from a horror flick for the rest of his life, and killing the other sailors on board. Despite losing his previously-handsome face and friends, Weston is now BFFs with the pilot who bombed his ship.
The British then landed their soldiers. The Argentines sent crazed teenage conscripts to stop the beachhead, but in intense hand-to-hand combat, the British won. The Brits then proceeded to Goose Green, where they slaughtered the Argentine garrison. They lost an officer who single-handedly charged an Argentine machine-gun nest. As he lay dying, the Brits called for a medevac chopper to evacuate him, but as it approached, an Argentine plane shot down the chopper and killed its pilot. This qualifies as a war crime, but then again, transplanted guidos from friggin' South America should know lots about crime.
Thanks to an Argie Exocet strike which destroyed a British ship carrying all their transport helicopters and killing a few of the crew, the Brits had to march across the islands towards the capital, Stanley, leaving a trail of dead Argentines behind them. When they got to the hills around Stanley, they easily wiped out the Argentine garrisons on all of them. The Argentines' only victory was a sneak missile attack on some British frigate that wiped out a good part of the crew. Seeing that all was lost, the Argentine faggot commander of Stanley surrendered to the outnumbered British.
The Argentine people had expected a glorious victory against a NATO power with huge power-projection capabilities vastly superior to Argentina in military strength and resources. So when Galtieri led them into war, they all forgot all the torture and war crimes against political opponents, and stood by the dear leader as he recovered stolen Argentine land from the Western imperialists. However, when the obvious happened, the people turned on their once-loved leader. Despite the fact that they had been protesting for years against his abuse of his own population, the protests were so fierce that Galtieri was quickly forced out of power. Apparently, the Argentine people put some wind-swept obscure islands inhabited mainly by sheep that belonged to Argentina in 1833 above their own freedom and well-being.
Guerra en los Caminos
Over 9000 people die on the roads of Argentinia every second because machismo dictates that driving your 18 wheeler full of unrefined dulce de leche down the centre of the road while drunk on aguardiente, unable to see because your eyes are full of tears from thinking about the injustice of the fate of Gauchito Gil, is perfectly acceptable.
Jorge Luis Borges was an Argentinian science fiction writer who at least 100 years ago predicted that a collaborative encyclopaedia full of made up stuff would take over the world; its nonsense facts replacing the actual truth of real life goddammit. As a result, he was denounced as a Jew hater by those that run things. Seeing as how throughout his childhood his first name was mercilessly pronounced "You're Gay" by even his best friends, he decided to renounce sex and instead invent post modernism.
The Country of Balls
Ballers are the main professionals in Argentina, because "balling" is Argentinian for whining and crying, the sorts of things that liberals do in other nations when the conservatives or Nazis run the government.
You can see a picture of typical Argentinians in the paragraph picture on the right; notice the women's purses that are a required attire for a Baller. Ballers most always wear a sporting uniform like those used to play soccer, or "Futbol" as Argies call it because they also use centigrade.
On the left, you can see a portrait of the biggest cheat in the history of foolball, who scored a goal using his hand and got away with it, knocking England out of the 1986 World Cup quarterfinals in revenge for the Queen invading the Maldives. People still toss on about this as though it matters, and Argies get extremely butthurt if you point out that their national hero is a coke and booze-raddled whore-hopping shitbag cheat who isn't fit to lace Pelé's boots. (Oh and the second goal he scored in that match was from a 60-yard dribble and in 2002 it was voted "Goal of the Century", but it's the cheating that won the game and that's what counts).
The ones who are not ballers are cartoneros, trashy people living off dumpster fruit. These are homeless Amerindians high on jenkem (as opposed to North American tribes who've discovered Listerine) who literally feed off the garbage they pick into in the city. They are much like raccoons, but in a bigger, moar devastating scale, as they horde into the city every evening picking crap from trash bags, looking for food left over to lick off their nutritional daily base and collecting pricey plastic to sell to recyclers in exchange for Paco, that drug made of crack, cat shit and broken glass. This is exactly what Truman Capote meant when he referred to Buenos Aires as the closest thing to Tiffany's.
It is a well known fact that nobody from Argentina ever made a damn difference in this world. Even Che Guevera didn't make a difference apart from being on those gay t-shirts that college students wear to get hippie pu55y.
Tango is an orange-flavoured carbonated beverage invented by the supreme Uruguayans as revenge after the German battleship Graf Spee nearly caused Argentina and Uruguay to have another shitty South American war. Tango was unleashed upon the Argies by firing it across the
Rio de la Plata Estuario del Fango using orcish ballistas, causing those who supped its sugary goodness tremor, akathisia and a homosexuality only relieved by dancing with women while dressed up all fancy. It has been described as vertical sex, when any fule knows you can have proper sex standing up and all that gimmicking with your legs like a spastic is beyond gay. Not being allowed to invent any drinks of its own, Argentina had yet another shitty South American war with Chile and/or Peru about who invented the pisco sour, which, like any self-respecting alcoholic drink, has eggs in it.
This is Argentina's own brand of fascism. It started with Dictator Juan Domingo Peron, famous for having served in WWII on the German front. His ambition was to one day be able to rule planet Earth, by exterminating blacks, Jews, and Squaws.
Sometime after his violent rise to power, an runaway teenage pornstar became First Lady, which is usual in Argie higher spheres of power. Her name was Eva Peron. She was
a mix of Squaw and Italian Basque, as over 9000 Argies are which makes them extremely unattractive, even more so than Puerto Ricans and other Niggers. His will was done, Amen, and by His grace only, Eva died soon after, during an operation that was supposed to help excise her Jew. That was the Lord's last act of kindness towards Argieland because the country is still ruled by Peronist fucktards who were terrorist war criminals during Kissinger's mandate. DISREGARD THAT, 2017 happened piros!
- 70%: No way! we are on strike.
- 30%: Hugo Chavez
- 07%: They buy cocaine and cocaine accessories from Bolivia and sell it in Spain or Israel for profit to buy a new land rover for the kids.
Peronism at work. They don't buy anything, they take what they want.
- Che Guevera
- Skillful Pedophile Nazis.
- Luciana Salazar
- Maradona,also known as Maradroga or Marranona, a morbidly obese, disgusting coke addict, former soccer player and now the manager of the already pwned Argentinan soccer team (see World Cup 2010).
- Florencia de la V
- Ricky Darré, High Priest of the Third Reich
- Eva Peron
- Juan Domingo Peron
- Manuel De Santis
Types of Argies
People from Argentina are to be referred to as "Argentinians" or "Argies," and only elitist buttfucks insist on calling them "Argentines."
- Cabezas: Argie niggers and prairie-niggers. They steal, do drugs, can't read and have the IQ of a monkey. Much like Arabs in Europe, Prairieniggers in Argentina fuck a lot and fail to abort (mainly because they use their toddlers as panhandling rookies) and so they are fucking everywhere. The government knows this (Peron discovered it) so they get payed to vote for whoever candidate offers them the better future. They have their own slang, which is based on fifty, probably random, words repeated very fast while shaking a hand, challenging others to fight for no apparent reason.
- Chetos: It's a complete social class that behaves fully as 16-year-old girls (even men behave like that). They think they are better so they hate everything and everyone. 99% of them have a pickup truck. They speak an abridged version of Valley Girl consisting of three interchangeable diatribes: "o sea" ("I mean"), "tipo" ("like"), "me entendés?" ("you know") followed by "a full" ("totally")
- Tequitos: Argentina's Azns. They pretty much have the same culture as chinks, gooks, flips, and japs. Not to mention, they have little dicks. Like the regular Asians, Tequitos are even born with a little dick or a little ass. Male Tequitos are born with little dicks, and female Tequitos are born with little asses. In fact, the majority of Tequitos in Argentina are males indicating they are quite likely hermaphroditic marsupial apes.
- Emos: They are everywhere! Everyone hates them over in Argentina, too, because they are stupid (even more so than the other kind of Argies). Their slang is a derivation of that of Chetos, only they speak softly and add "odio todo" ("I hate everything") and "sangre" ("blood") every few words.
- Nazis: The country has been secretly runned by Martin Borman since 1945. Low-rank nazis abound everywhere but they are not allowed to attack the equally numerous jews, because as everyone knows, Jews and nazis have "secretly" united to rule the world at least 100 years ago.
- Jews: In most cases Ashkenazis mixed with Goyim Germans and other Eastern Europisches weissetrash. They own all industry, all the media, all real estate and - secretly - the Peronist Party. There are some "pure" Jews, most of Sephardic background, who believe in God and refuse to marry outside the immediate family (no one knows which is the cause or consequence).
- Pretty girls: There are pretty girls everywhere. Srsly, everywhere. As this is a Roman Catholic dominated country you'll see a ready-for-ass-fuck girl in every street, often in pairs. Most of Argentina's women are do-able, so, for the balance, most straight men are ugly (See: Japan). Pretty girls talk with their bodies, and everyone listens. Many foreigners will ask you how pretty they are, because they are homos.
- Shemales: In recent years there has been an increase in the number of "confused" men. Their number one excuse is "I was meant to be a girl but was born in the wrong body." They talk like women, only with thick male voices and bobbing adam's apples. Actual Argentinian women should not be confused with shemales; since this is a Catholic country there are always plenty of hideously ugly women around.
- Regular Argies: They are mid-class people who believe they actually think and blame the government for everything. Their slang often is mixed with others for the lulz, but they usually don't talk. Just suck.
- The Police: A recent survey by your mom has showed that their police force is one of the world's finest, completely free of corruption (except for shooting odd niggers, but who cares about them because they are a bunch of big lipped wankers that cause trouble).
Floggers or Glams: Easily comparable to the scenester and the emo kids, floggerLOL EXTINCT is Argentina's first alternative label evarActually not true. Came to be after they finally discovered internet disease through fotolog.com (hence "flogger"), a ghastly Web 1.0 mix of MySpace and LiveJournal, which they update with one picture (the limit) and emo lyricsan entry. They dress in bright pants and v-shirts and can always be found in groups at clubs, adorned with sunglasses, and showing who can do the flogger dance (el baile flogger) better, a charming series of kicks and jumps. EVERYONE hates them, probably because they reflect the superficiality of their environment in general. They're well known for trolling about their appeal via IRL so try to stay away from them as far as possible.
Use of the word "Negro"
- In the morbid Argie slang, "Negro" is an affectionate vocative reserved for the lighter-skinned but socially confused upper-class males, or cheto. The Whiter the person is, the more likely it is he is going to be called, or call his rich white friends, "Negro." When the person uses "Negrito" (Li'l Nigger) instead, he means he now considers you a close friend and is therefore prepared to ask you for some money he's never going to return. Getting financially defrauded by an Argie means they have accepted you into their select circle of wannabe gangstas and you should feel honored.
- Negro de Mierda (Nigger of Shit -> Shitty Nigger or Scheissesnigger for our Coprophiliac friends) on the other hand means exactly the opposite of the above. It is a derogatory term used by the limpieza de sangre to refer to the delinquent half-Squaw half-Guido population. Since the typical Argie has never seen an African in his life, the Guido Mongrel is the darkest skinned people they know. In recent years there has been in fact a handful of Patois-speaking Africans infiltrating Argentina, but people just ignore their presence and vain attempts of selling you fake male jewelry in an attempt to get rid of them through indifference.
- Fellow o' Chaps (Just reference the Falklands War and they'll go into an instant chimpout.)
- Puerto Ricans
- Other Argentinians
- Azns, especially Chinese.
- Ppl with money
- Ppl without money
- Basically, they hate themselves
Achievements (if any)
- Utter isolation and revisionism to the point when they think they have invented stuff that actually originated in the rest of the world decades before they "achieved" it.
- Being even more obnoxious than Americans while traveling to a foreign country (an amazing feat in and of itself).
- Argentina's president saved a young boy from becoming a werewolf.
- Maradona's goal against England was made with the hand.
- The Rio de la Plata (River
PlateOF SILVER, baboso) is actually an estuary and not even the widest one (that title being held by the St. Lawrence).
- The ball pen was invented by a Hungarian, not an Argie.
- The Falklands are not called "Malvinas", and they never have been, nor ever will be, Argie.
- Point out that their neighbor, Uruguay, pwned them in the very first World Cup, and that Luis Suarez > Lionel Messi.
- They do not have any prerogative whatsoever in the invention of the bus, the sewing machine, the identity document, the first helicopter, animated cartoons, the traffic lights for the blind, disposable syringes, soccer, the ball, the soccer ball, caramel, or God.
- Call Argies "nigger" even though black people are rare in Argentina (2% of the population, lol). Americans, most of whom are black, enjoy projection.
- They don't have the best soccer team of the world, otherwise they would have won more than two world cups.
- The best asses in the world are Brazilian, not Argentinian.
- Their music bands suck ass and are just a poor man's rip-offs of North American bands.
- They are even moar hypocritical and retarded than most Americans (another mindfreak), and they don't know how to drive a goddamn car for shit.
- Just tell them Perón was BFF with Hitler.
- Remind them how their beloved Maradona went to rehab and got fat.
- The entire Colombia team was high when they beat Argentina.
- That dulce de leche tastes like vomit.
- Francisco Solano Lopez would've pwned them if it wasn't for Brazil.
Murka has a bald eagle, Germany has an iron cross, and Argentina has a royal Inca (Indian) creepy pedophile face. Staring at it long enough will bring convulsive lulz, which in turn brings butthurt wrapped in rage to the overly-sensitive Argies. It turns out the face is actually a Sun god worshipped by the indigenous prairie niggers of Argentina, which is ironic that a country obsessed with everything white would honour lesser races by having their creepy dead god on the national flag. Regardless, Argies aren't
white people, so it doesn't matter.
- Typical Argentinian driving skills
- Another Argentinian driving like crazy as usual
- Argentine feline fauna
- Spanish Empire - their metropolis nemesis and the cause that not identifies as Injuns
- Mental retardation
- Ape rage
- Soccer - Argentinia sole pride
- Trash - their nationalism
- Political corruption
- Mario "Malevo" Ferreyra - Argentina's greatest an hero.
- Asalieri ED's Favorite Argie.
- Respect - what they need to the Queen and their cruelty "¡Las Malvinas son argentinas!"
- Argentina is White