Unwarranted Self-Importance (USI) is a disease that gives you the feeling that you are actually worth something despite not having made any contributions to society or to anything at all, and actually making the world a much shittier place, thus making yourself look like a complete douche. This concept was first best introduced to civilization in the form of Socrates.
This is common amongst Kanye West, Chris Chan, DarksydePhil, MovieBob, BoA, Matthew Davis, LiveJournal, Amy Schumer, Dane Cook, Anna Kendrick, Emer Prevost, Randy Stair, Jared Milton, Harvey Weinstein, Tara Strong, Uwe Boll, Lena Dunham, Doopie DoOver, Mr. Enter, Eric Abramov, Nixxiom, Kuro5hin users, NeoGAF users, Hillary Clinton, Nihilistic Snake, SONYFANBOY, Corey Margera, chavs, Michael Bay, pre-med students, Social Justice Warriors, and Apple users, famous weathermen, Coalition soldiers who have actually been to Iraq and anyone who drives some sort of "green" hybrid car while simultaneously expecting your gratitude for saving the fucking earth. It occurs on ED all the time.
Unwarranted self-importance is also often associated with flamers or n00bs, Americunts, transgender activists, and anyone who contributes to this page. It will be found on sites where posts or edits are encouraged, as many imagine themselves working for some greater power as they upset others. It also comes into play when the unwarrantably self-important are lacking in one or more areas of their lives, e.g. being too poor to afford a TV. Most people that reward themselves with the feeling that they are important can easily be considered bastards. On the internet there are narcissistic users who make use of bot programs to advertise and subscribe themselves as if to gratify their own ego they are the incredibly talented human beings for hire. Needless to say you won't find people to admit it such as LifeInATent.
People who believe themselves important should seek medical treatment, perhaps because of narcissistic tendencies - except for Jacknstock, who was fucking fired instead. USI has become an epidemic, and is spreading faster than diarrhea in a Mexico City restaurant.
The science of USI
Luckily, psychologists are hard at work figuring out what causes USI for the sake of building better trolls worldwide. Next time somebody claims they're totally a big deal, just throw some of these concepts at them:
- Illusory superiority: You are better than everybody else. You're a better driver, better worker, and better everything. Of course, the problem is that EVERYBODY thinks this and how can EVERYBODY be better than EVERYBODY ELSE?
- Self-serving bias: Your successes are because you're awesome, your failures are because THE MAN is keeping you down! Can also be applied to groups.
- Dunning-Kruger effect: When somebody is so fucktarded, they don't even realize they're a fucktard and continue to do the exact same shit over and over again.
- Choice-supportive bias: "I knew I shouldn't have bought the full DVD box set for this shitty cartoon without pirating a few episodes first to see if I like it, but... um... my future kids will like it!"
- Pollyanna principle: Every compliment you get is fact even when they're bullshitting and you know it. What are you going to do, tell them that you're not awesome?
- Lack of self-esteem: They have very poor opinions of themselves, and they need everyone else to tell them they are not the complete failures they know themselves to be.
- Narcissistic personality disorder: People who are so convinced of their own (non-existent) power, prestige and talent, they demand constant praise and admiration from everyone around them or all hell breaks loose.
An Elitist is an individual who thinks he or she is somehow better than/above the rest of the Internets, yet always manages to have the time to stop and lecture from some moral high ground/soap box. In reality, they fail just as hard and often as the rest of us.
Elitists often give their opinion regardless of whether it is welcomed, and it is always condescending or pedantic in nature.
Reasons for Elitism
There are multiple reasons someone may think themselves less pathetic than the rest of the human race. This is usually due to the following reasons:
- They are thinner than you
- They have larger breasts than you
- They are dragons
- They are more wolf than you
- They have better grammar than you
- They hate fags more than you
- They are more conservative than you
- They are more liberal than you
- They are gayer than you
- They eat moar placentas than you
- They have more artistic talent than you
- They have more pageviews on deviantart than you
- They know of things you've probably never even heard of before
- They are more straight edge than you
- They are moar special than you
- They are more batshit insane than you (see Insanity Wolf)
- They believe in God less than you
- They believe in God more than you
- They belong to an oppressed fandom that is not a choice
- They drink more blood than you
- They value The Truth more than being liked
- They are cooler than you
- They have an older religion than you
- They know that nobody's perfect and they've got to work it again and again until they get it right
- They know that the above reason is complete faggotry, and you don't.
- They have more venereal diseases than you
- They use more transitions and special effects than you.
- They have more "friends" at Facebook than you do.
- They are more vegan than you are.
- They have two girlfriends and a truck, whereas you have none of either
Basically, most Wikipedians are guilty of unwarranted self-importance. The mildest cases are those who think their edits are actually contributing significantly to an encyclopedia. Jimbo-christened administrators have unwarranted importance, but it may or may not be self-importance, since Jimbo seems to think them important (or at least more important than other peons). The worst case of unwarranted self-importance are those Wikipedians who have not been Knighted by Jimbo, but desperately want to be, like Jaysweet, so they actually start sycophantically acting like administrators, in the hope that their "initiative" will be noted and rewarded. Here is an example of Jaysweet's self-importance:
How to keep yourself from contracting the USI virus
- Step 1: Take down your social networking page. Sites such as Facebook and Instagram are two of, if not THE most common sources of USI, as most people on there post pictures of themselves on a 3-day smack bender and update their status to show that they're giving head in a strip club restroom.
- Step 2: Delete your Twitter account. If you want to talk to people, use a fucking phone or your e-mail, dipshit.
- Step 3: If you have an iPhone, get rid of it. USI comes as a standard app on those things, and is another common source of the virus.
- Step 4: Avoid sites like 4chan, take them down if possible to prevent others from getting infected with USI.
- Step 5: Doing things IRL is encouraged, such as going for a walk outside, getting a job, or fucking.
- Step 6: If everything else fails. Buy a gun and become an hero.
A message from the ED Department of Health.
- Alpha geek
- Brianna Wu
- Elitist musical bastards
- Hillary Clinton
- I have a 140 IQ
- Lena Dunham
- Internet celebrity
- Internet tough guy
- iPhone Users
- Amy Schumer
- Narcissistic personality disorder
- Tumblr User
- Doopie DoOver
- Too cool for the internet
- Unrealistic expectations
- Vanity Page
- Writing Yourself Into An Article
- Rebecca Sugar
- Lena Chen
- The Harlan Show
- Zoe Quinn
is part of a series on
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