Asphyxiation

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sunlight much?
Is this cunt for real?

Asphyxiation is amongst the thousands of mediocre, cliché furfag artists that make up the yiff-crazed shithole of FurAffinity. However they wouldn’t have an ED article about them unless they were truly worthy of having one, would they? Thus comes the lulz… Asphyxiation or “Asph” as her stuffed-animal fucking, beasty semen-spewing audience currently know her as, has roughly 1,000 people watching her on Fur affinity. Since she has a large 14 year old furry/bisexual fanbase, she often uses excuses to get does their sparkledog, anthro-canine, furry-orgasm- enticing commission requests. Recently after taking on an overwhelming amount of them AND collecting an atrocious amount of money from her commissioners, (literally hundreds of $’s) she decided out of the blue that the internetz was “RUINING MY RELATIONSHIP WITH LYSC” (her boyfriend), because she was spending too much time on her fat ass in front of the monitor drawing yiff for her fans to fap to and throwing around the term “lulz” as if she's a ED Admin Thus she posted “I’M DONE GUYS BYBY. CAN’T PAY YOU BACK THO SRYY”. Implying that she intended on running off with the loads of money payed by her newfag fans with no valid explanation other than her boyfriend made her cry. She is probably the most dense twat-hole to spew her bat-shit insane logic across the furfag community since Sapphydracases with an ego to match. Though as always the lulz does not end there. Read on to continue the lulz

Full of Fail[edit]

Asph first came on the internet 3-4 years ago and gradually built herself a decent reputation in the furfag community. She claims herself to be 21 (like the Sapphy-fucktard; impossible to believe, huh?) with the overwhelming mental capacity of the average 4 year old. Not only does she have not right whatsoever to continuously butthurt to pieces other furries who she is on an equal level of retardation with, but does so. She does so in a series of bawwing journal entries on her art page because she wants everyone to know what an internet tough guy she is so they will fap to thoughts of her rainbow fag alter ego.

SPARKLEDOG FAGS BAWW UPON SEEING THIS

Even though the above screenshot expresses lulz through her art posts, this is not where a majority of Asph's bawwing and internet tough guy speeches are expressed. Often times she posts her frustration towards the average anatomy-challenged furfags in her journals. Why? She believes that this is the best way to manipulate 13 year-olds who don't know any better out of $15.00 for a sketch that took Asph roughly 10-15 minutes to shit out. This may sound immoral but don't be upset with Asph. She is too dense and lacks the adequate mental capacity to earn money like many normal adults in our society manage to do. Asph is special and needs EVERYONE to understand that even though she contractually promised dozens of paying commissioners that they WOULD get artwork, that she is having "BOYFRIEND PROBLEMS" and therefore this gives her every justified right to run off with their money. After all when you get your wallet grabbed from you in the middle of New York City by a pick-pocketer, the normal reaction is to turn around and say "Well they're just having problems. Even though they just robbed me out of a ton of cash I have sympathy!!! ^___^"

No monies deserves much sympathy[edit]

File:Nathalia by Seiyoku.jpg
Seriously? The calves are as long as the torso.

Asph uses the fact that she is broke (because she is the only person on this planet who is mind you), and that she awful panics attacks so that she can never. never. EVER EVER go outside or she'll faint and be sent to the ER, both as valid excuses to her advantage. Both of these excuses are a vice for her to write another emo journal entry so that she can inflict yet another "I AM A POPULAR, PRETTY WOLF-DRAWING, EGO-MANICAL SUPERIOR ARTIST TO U" guilt-trip in order to get her mindless flocks of fans to toss money her way.

World Class Anatomy[edit]

Not only does Asph charge an atrocious amount of money for her piss-poor furry art, but it's usually chicken shit. Consisting of bad anatomy, flat coloring, messy lineart, poor shading, inaccurate positioning of limbs and cliche' poses which an 11 year old sparkle dog artist could easily accomplish. Why anyone would pay a cent for it is beyond any and all logical reasoning.

Still Alive[edit]

Around Saturday, April 10 2010, Asphyxiation has returned back to FA from the plane of eternal banhammers. This was achieved because of many nights spent discussing the ban in a calm orderly manner. She has been reposting everything that the l33t hackers on steroids baleeted from her page as a short terms means of innernet justice. She has also admitted that Furaffinity-favicon.png 1Thirteen3 is a sockpuppet of hers, possibly a means as to how she avoided/repelled the banhammered status on her old account lifted. She still believes that she has done nothing wrong and that she doesn't owe anybody anything.

File:Bla.png
GAWD, just cause they paid me, these assholes expect me to work for them!

External Links[edit]

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Asphyxiation is part of a series on

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Asphyxiation is part of a series on

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