August Yifu

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Jump to: navigation, search
This is August Yifu, who is into castration. Ironically, many people are also interested in castrating August Yifu at no charge.

Every now and then, Encyclopedia Dramatica manages to find a goldmine of lulz. And, as the fursecuted will gladly tell you, we love ripping on furries, no matter how much they may insist they're not sick fucks. As a result, most of them relentlessly guard their WikiFur pages and personal dox, refusing to let their non fursona self see the light of day.

However, it is well known that furries lack any common sense, so idiots like August Yifu end up making our jobs a whole lot easier by announcing their faggotry (and their name) for the whole wide world to see. Such actions lead to humiliation, alienation, and plenty of lulz.

The Fursona of a Rubber Fox Fucker[edit]

August Yifu's latest incarnation. Unlike most fursonas, this one remains more faithful to the actual appearance of the creator.

Like most furries, attempting to understand their alternate selves will lead to insanity, and in some extreme cases, gouging ones eyes out with a spoon. Luckily (unluckily) his WikiFur page does the job without the need for casualties:

  • August grew up twice, being a victim of age regression. This regression brought on unintended side effects: August now suffers from total incontinence and has developed some problems maintaining his solidity.

The Wikifur Page[edit]

We can't make this shit up, folks; August Yifu' is a babyfur AND a rubberfur. Squeak Squeak Yiff!

It's not rare to find furries writing themselves into a WikiFur page, but most are not stupid enough to include their personal information in the article, let alone the first paragraph.

When called on to remove the information, August's mate was quick to dismiss such concerns, as no harm can be done without a last name.


   
 
The fact that anyone takes ED seriously makes me kinda giggle. Besides, without a last name, any ED article is more trying to stir up some lulz than actually attack people. The only real way it'd do any amount of damage is if it had a last name. And even then, how much damage would that do, given that only parts of the fandom and a few select internet communities know about ED in the first place...?

You give them too much credit.
 


 
 

—August's butt-buddy Koebi.

He and his boyfriend were overly confident in ED's inability to ruin them. So confident in fact, that we're sure they won't care if we say that August Yifu is, in fact, Dustin Dalgleish from Calgary, Alberta, (now living in Edmonton) and his boyfriend is some guy living in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania named Paul.

Sadly, they failed to realize that August had posted his full name on many other sites, as well as more personal information. It was only a matter of time before that information reached the public eye.

His Acmlm board account; real name and location included

Wikifur Quotes[edit]

   
 
Dustin is a rottenfur, and is involved in a wide variety of sexual fetishes such as rubber fetishism, vincilagnia (bondage), masochism, fat fetishism, inflation, paraphilic infantilism (including such themes as diaper fetishism, urolagnia, coprophilia, and age regression). He is also a fan of transformation, primarily of the inanimate variety such as plushification and petrification. He also has an interest in castration, penectomies, as well as other forms of genitalia manipulation.
 

 
 

—August Yifu's grocery list of fetishes.


   
 
Dustin has his own channel, #Yifu, which he uses to gather up his friends from all over the server into one place; he is in so many channels, that he frequently misses any of his friends that choose not frequent it, when they come online.
 

 
 

—Translation, nobody visits #Yifu because nobody likes August.

The Googletastrophe[edit]

In April of 2007, August's mother and father decided to check out this Google thing all the kids are doing these days. They spent a lighthearted afternoon Googling various relatives, before they finally entered August's full name into the popular search engine. Lo and behold, a wondrous array of websites popped up, containing August's many, many furry-related forum accounts, along with an almost categorical listing of his many fetishes. In case you need reminding, just a few of those are incontinence, babyfur, urination, plushophilia, castration and inflation.

August, who freely admits that the things he defends as harmless interests and hobbies "horrified" his family, immediately freaked out and tried to delete fucking everything. Some helpful chaps over at WikiFur felt that his dox were a vital part of the entry about his rubber-fetish, fat, incontinent, castrated, autistic fox character. And thus the WikiWar began.

Wikiwar![edit]

August had a dilemma on his filthy, filthy paws. On one side was his humiliation at his family having discovered his sordid fursona, and on the other side was his insatiable need for attention. This led him to first complain that he didn't want an article about himself on WikiFur, then change his mind soon after and request the same article be put back up, but under a slightly different name.


   
 
I have previously asked not to be included in WikiFur (on the page RubberFox), but I have however changed my feelings about this; my family had discovered the page before I had, and were horrified. I myself was a little aggravated with the article, as no permission was given to document me, my personal information, or my copyrighted artwork. I was mainly in shock, but I feel that I wish to be included now. I have written this article, so it is up to date and much more complete than the old one, and it does not include my last name. Please do not include my last name; I do not wish for such search engines as Google to associate my private life with my full name."
 

 
 

—August Yifu thinks the internets is his secret diary.

The 'update' that August provided consisted of him removing all mention of his last name, as well as trying to make himself sound as normal as a morbidly obese, pants-wetting raccoon made of rubber can. Even after his halfhearted attempt to hide himself, he still included his first name, location, and birth date within the article.

And so began the months of reverting on August's WikiFur article. And with each revert, a plea from August to stop including his full name:


   
 
come on u guise, teh 'rents r gonna kno!!
 

 
 

—August whines at the WikiFur community.

Deviant Art[edit]

Turns out August's family also discovered his now-defunct deviantART page. Learning this, he decided to create a new "top secret account".


   
 
I am not a new deviant; my old account is RubberFox. My life was over recently when my family googled my full name and found my account. But I've worked up the courage to start over again, THIS time my last name hasn't been placed on my profile, so...

Anyway, I won't be moving over my art; it'd look too suspicious. Once I get settled down, I'll start submitting art again; I have plans this time to submit much more furry art"
 


 
 

—My life is over, so I'm gonna go do the same thing AGAIN!

Basically what this all boils down to is that August is angry at the internets for associating his habits with his Real life name. However, if he really didn't want to be found out, he should have taken more care to not have posted his full name everywhere. August is also under the bizarre impression that the internet is a place for his private life, and NOT a huge, easily searchable public community, where millions of people have access to every single thing he posts.

Needless to say, if his parents have the collective IQ higher than the average office fern, they could easily find his new information.

The Ramifications[edit]

He just can't help himself...

Since this article has been featured as Article of the Now, there have been severe ramifications, the comments on his new super sekrit deviantART account (sic) have now reached numbers estimated to be over 9000 all of which involve his full name or location. And ALL of which are derogatory. He has not checked his new 'sekrit' DeviantART account since said comments where posted, but when he does it is anticipated to be much lulz.

Comments from his new dA account:


   
 
Hello, Dustin Dalgleish from Calgary, Alberta in Canada, you should not feel relief Dustin Dalgleish from Calgary, Alberta in Canada, because the fact is, Dustin Dalgleish from Calgary, Alberta in Canada, your name and location: Dustin Dalgleish from Calgary, Alberta in Canada, are still all over the internet. I hope your parents don't search anything like Dustin Dalgleish from Calgary, Alberta in Canada again.

Also, the fact that you're TELLING everyone that your old account was rubberducky or whatever the fuck it's called still links you to your real identity, which is, in fact, Dustin Dalgleish from Calgary, Alberta in Canada. Enjoy your sick faggotry, you fucking retard.
 


 
 

lulz

Known aliases[edit]

Whenever he is discovered under another name he will quickly go back into hiding; some of his known aliases are;

Alex

Alex A. Storm

Alex Storm

August

AugustCoon

Araketh

BabyNeil

Blue Belly

Blue Belly Ottsington

RubberCubs


See Also[edit]

External Links[edit]

Portal da.png

August Yifu is part of a series on

DeviantART

Visit the DeviantART Portal for complete coverage.

Fur series.jpg

August Yifu is part of a series on

Furfaggotry

Visit the Furfaggotry Portal for complete coverage.

Featured article December 22, 2007
Preceded by
Jarrad Willis
August Yifu Succeeded by
Nghtmrchld26
Featured article January 6, 2008
Preceded by
Guess The Meme
August Yifu Succeeded by
Ron Paul