Avatar: The Last Airbender
| KEEP IT SIMPLE, STUPID!
|This article needs a serious clean up|
|Not to be confused with James Cameron's 2009 movie Avatar, which has more to do with blue, tall alien furfags than it does a shota with the powers of water, fire, air and dirt.|
- 1 Plot
- 2 Characters
- 3 Fanbase
- 4 Quotes From the Show Creators
- 5 The Great Movie Controversy
- 6 The Promise TLDR
- 7 The Search
- 8 Part 1: Who's your daddy?
- 9 Really Old Avatar Shit
- 10 Gallery
- 11 See Also
- 12 External Links
The popular fake animu series Avatard was created by two faggot weeaboos in order to amass obscene piles of Jew gold from other weeaboos. Otaku are known to cry and scream that Avatar isn't animu as it was made by Americans but they can go suck a dick because.
This show being overrated and now having being made into an epic fail movie is about a bunch of whiny teensies who know kung fu and have the ability to summon natural powers. They spend most of their time learning valuable lessons about lame shit and teaching white children an extremely loose interpretation of Azn voodoo moon religion. Aimed at the 6-11 age demographic it naturally has a bunch of batshit insane fans in their 20's and 30's that make this shitty show all kinds of uncomfortable for the fine peoples of the Internets.
A bunch of Azns willfully segregate themselves into kingdoms according to who can throw what elements out of their hands until these fire dickholes, who totally don't ooze Imperialist Japan/Communist China out of every orifice at all, invade the Airbender kingdom and kill every single air nomad, and pillage everyone else for 100 years. A little kid who was frozen in an iceberg for those 100 years has to CATCH 'EM ALL. Yeah. That's about it.
- Aang: A painfully saccharine and wide-eyed shota and a Skinhead who's supposed to save the world with the power of blasphemous godly Azn magic. His innocent appearance masks his perverted fantasies of fucking the only girl who will talk to him. Fangirls insist he is a "smooth ladies man", even though the last time he's seen a cunt is when he was born.
- Katara: An Eskimo with the amazing ability to throw water at things, all around uppity bitch who complains about everyone else's problems and won't admit to any of her own. The object of Waang's hormonal desires. Has an army of batshit online fangirls and fanboys who will viciously defend her retarded behavior when they're not beating off to child porn. Confirmed pedophile.
- Sokka: Katara's powerless brother and typical village idiot. Has a boomerang, despite the fact that he doesn't live in Australia. Likes to fuck sluts.
- Toph: A little kid who specializes in throwing rocks at people. Can't fight without her feet since she's blind as fuck. Using her feet to see causes people with foot fetishes to lover her. Overrated loli mary sue, known for being a badass machine and having earth hax that she invented while shoving dirt up her cunt, and a pure fannon waifu slut more so than even Ty Lee the resident fap bait.
- Suki: A kabuki cosplaying bitch whose anomalous existence as Sokka's fuck buddy could only be explained as the creators' hardcore fantasies come to life. Lives on an island with only bitches. An obvious butch.
- Zuko: An emo victim mama's boy with daddy issues who goes through more character and costume changes than anyone else in the show because the writers couldn't decide who the fuck he's supposed to be. Obsessed over by fangirls. Faps to his mom when he's alone at night.
- Azula: Angry lesbo who also fucks her daddy on the side. Formerly a queen bee, she was betrayed by her "friends" when they realized how much of a psychotic bitch she was, subsequently leading her to develop paranoid schizophrenia and leaving her susceptible to pwnage by Zuko and Katara in the last episode.
- Mai: Zuko's canon slut and the hottest bitch on this overrated weeaboo show and eh is pretty cool, pwns batshit main villain bitches with ninja knives and doesn't afraid of anything. Universally loathed and loved by retarded fangirls.
- Ty Lee: Anorexic, acrobatic bitch whose cunt gushes at the sight of Sokka. Master of disturbing sexual positions.
- Jet: Azn bum who flooded a town off the map in an attempt to impress Katara, but she rejected him on the spot. In season 2, his habit of snitching finally got him killed and no one cared about him after that.
- Iroh: The Yoda of the Avatar show. Pretty cool for a fat old man, seeing how he can still get ripped while being over 9000 years old. Solves all problems with tea. Is the only character on the show who's even worth mentioning.
- Momo and Appa: Pointless merchandising mascots.
- Ozai: Emperor who kills people for the lulz. Is more or less the animated version of Adolf Hitler, but with a goatee instead of a toothbrush mustache.
- Yue: A ganguro 16-year-old girl whose life is tied to the Moon Spirit; after Zhao killed the Moon Fish, she became an hero to bring it back.
Obviously nothing in this world would be so lulzy without an insane and rabid fanbase populated by maladjusted tweens and manchildren behind it. As Avatar rose in popularity, its level of fantards began to reach critical mass, and if it weren't for the film, it's estimated they would of become as horrifying as Sonic fans by 2012. And while all the bitching, shipping and flames goes on, the creators are just sitting back counting all the Jew gold they made off of everyone. Lucky for us normal people though, the horrendously shitty "The Last Airbender" film managed to suck so bad that the ensuing protests, butthurt, and overall disgust managed to destroy, or at least diminish what was left of the already dwindling fanbase.
"Shippers", as they like to be called, are losers giving a shit about who fucks who in any given form of entertainment for lack of a love life of their own. "Avatar" shippers are especially persistent even though this is an American "kid" show and the likelihood of anyone getting fucked is zero. Over the course of the 3 long (and progressively lamer) seasons the arguments over which kid will finger bang which kid has gotten more and more intense as fans wait for the final episodes to air.
Shippers are always:
Now that the series is finally over and the endgame couples are set, much butthurt is to be had by everyone that was not right about their ZOMG TRUE LOVES couple of choice.
The Abbabar fandom has developed a huge, insane shipper faction the likes of which haven't been seen since the "Harmony" incident. They call themselves "Zutarians", perhaps in reference to the planet they're from. These alien fangirls differ from their Earthly cousins in that they're rabidly obsessed with a heterosexual coupling, a rare and curious trait indeed.
However they must share a common ancestor as the Zutarians are so insistent on a pairing that had no indication of ever happening that they fully expected the very fabric of reality to bend to their will, only to shit all over the internet when it predictably didn't, screaming and crying that the writers of the show are openly mocking them and toying with their emotions.
Which in the end is probably close to the truth as the show's creators (apparently a two-headed manbeast collectively known as "Bryke") find this shipping business amusing as fuck and have made a national pastime of what one could call "ship baiting".
TL;DR: Zutara is all about ANGRY DRY RAPE. That will never, ever happen. At least the dirty pics are good though, so if you must fap to this show and are not into shotacon its a good place to look for porn.
The Spoilers That Killed Zutara
For the lulz, whoever runs the Cadavatar mass franchising money machine decided to release a bunch of shitty books that spoiled the ending for all the fangirls who were stupid enough to buy them. This occurred before the last episodes even aired because Nickelodeon is keeping them locked in a vault until enough fantards waste their allowance or McDonald's paychecks on DVDs and poorly made plushies for their liking.
Where most fantards would be upset with learning how the ultimate bad guys are defeated our visitors from the distant stars are upset that two characters who quite blatantly like other people aren't going to fuck like dirty monkeys during the final episode, blaming this on the writers mocking them, writing their story wrong, sucking at romance writing, and the show not being made in Japan. This also hasn't stopped the Zutarians from penning lengthy essays about how the book is a fake, an elaborate hoax cooked up by those vile "Kataangers" in the next star system, or that it was intentionally released early and meant to trick the audience of their finances until the actual finale airs.
THEY CRUSHED OUR SPIRITS
All over DeviantART and LiveJournal socially awkward fangirls with very empty lives erupted in a maelstrom of fan whining. The Zutarians were full of drama because most of them are privileged America children and have never encountered any real suffering in their entire lives, and full of batshit paranoia because they take everything the creators of the show say personally. The Kataangers meanwhile were off squawking and gloating on their own LiveJournals until their parents force fed them some Ritalin so they could get some goddamn sleep.
The opposite of Zutarians, anyone who identifies by this term can be assumed to be a complete retard who also spends way too much time and effort on insignificant shit that doesn't matter. Just as insane as any other Avatard shipper they are easily distinguished by their squishy prepubescent ideals on "ZOMG LUV" and "ZOMG DESTINY." These are the fat girls you see walking the halls of high school with "BELIEBER<3" scrawled on their notebooks as they skip to class. "Kataangers" feel the need to compile evidence of the retarded Y7 relationship of hugs already blatantly developing within the show's canon and spend most of their time arguing with Zutarians and generally being annoying 13 year old girls. Kataangers would get along delightfully with pedophiles if they weren't so busy screen capping retarded hugs, because Aang is a shota and yet still manages to somehow gets him some. Even though all shipper are fucktards with no life, now that Katara and Aang's fuck fest is cannon, they cant help but run around the internet yelling how they won like they are expecting a fucking prize for being able to notice the obvious facts.
While Zutara and other popular ships have at least a good quantity of fap-worthy porn, its pretty rare to find anything of note concerning Aang sticking it to Katara. Possible reasons are any artist over 12 that would otherwise be drawing piles of porn of this show does not want to be labeled a pedophile. And the thought of a 12 year old boy wanting some poon (outside of the art on /b/ or /ss/) or even being able to pull it off is hard to buy. If Aaang was real he would be doing what every other 12 year old boy is doing: fapping to cleavage shots on Google and playing the Pokemans. Arrow boy and Brown girl fucking is cannon, but damn it sure makes you feel pedo...unless you are Shota Cat and totally into tiny cocks.
As seen in the show's sequel, this ship is canon. This does not, however, mean that its fans are not still retarded.
tl;dr if you went "heeheehee" or "baaaaaw" about anybody making out in this show you are a moron.
And Now, We Spit Upon You
So the finale aired and surprise, surprise, all that had been foretold in the books of dark prophecy were true. Katara predictably hooked up with Aang and they shared a chaste closed mouth kiss and we could all forget this nightmare of fantardism ever fucking happened.
Or so we thought.
But the fandom inexplicably refuses to die, as though their sheer demented will can change the course of history for their own pleasure so they can continue dwelling in their basements living vicariously through the fictional relationship of two fictional children. This proved considerably lulzy enough to make the creators of the show come out at Comic Con '08 and turn a shitload of crappy Avatar fanart into a short film that not just reaffirmed that all of the weird, delusional ships were wrong, but mocked them thoroughly, which (accompanied by an affirmation that there would never be a Season 4 and thus no second chance for the fantarded shipdoms) was viewed by the Zutarans as a gigantic insult and by the sane world as the biggest and most efficient professional troll since Japan Time. Also, puppets.
Quotes From the Show Creators
—The duo telling us shit we already knew
The Great Movie Controversy
The series was adapted for Hollywood by director M Night Shyamalamadingdong, the genius responsible for masterpieces such as "The Happening" and "The Lady in The Water". He also directed the "The Sixth Sense" but he stole the idea from some Nickelodeon show.
When news of who's casted reached the Avatar fanbase, a shitstorm blew over as the cast consisted of mainly white actors and Disney whore Jesse McCartney. However despite Jesse's shitty music tour getting in the way of his true destiny, Shyamalan suddenly got a boner for the kid in Slumdog Millionaire and cast Developer Patel for the role instead. This made the fandom rage even more and claim the movie features white people leading Azns in roles meant for Azns, and the main villain is foreign. This news resulted in a shitty letter writing campaign which failed when it got to the studios as they were sent back to sender.
Those Avatards not screaming "Damedesuyo!" about the casting are still very butthurt. Most fans of the show's lightheartedness and whimsy feel that Shamwow has instead gone in the ill-advised direction of serious business. Quick to notice in trailers Katara's persistently weepy eyes, Aang's total inability to smile, and Sokka having never farted once during either domestic or international trailers. The fandoms response? THIS IS SERIOUS BUSINESS!.
The movie is arguably the worst shit ever.
M. Nite Shymasiasdfhasdifh managed to rape the plot by removing most of the important characters, including the Kyoshi warriors. That Indian guy has said in interviews that this was because he liked them too fucking much and filmed way too many scenes about them. So, of course, the only logical thing to do was completely remove them from the movie. Many Suki/Sokka shippers nerd raged as he only got a piece of ass from Yue in this movie. The bending was no more than a series of Bollywood dance moves.
Even if someone decided to walk into the movie having no idea of the original series whatsoever, they would still be entirely disappointed. The actors all have about as much acting talent as your average no-name drama major looking to "make it big" in Hollywood. While the carefree monk is off doing his best Keanu Reeves impression, the other two main actors seem like they are on the verge of tears. Critics agree that it is one of the worst movies of all time. Hell, Roger Ebert didn't even give the movie one star. Fucking Twilight got two stars, confirming that there was a fundamental misunderstanding of how to make a movie.
What the Critics Had to Say
Apparently the new show wasn't enough for the extra cash and Nickelodeon is too fucking cheap to produce a bunch of special episodes when a few mango strips can save them a couple of bucks. Dark Horse serialized a hastily made cash-in set in-between the two shows which is well-written and very engaging. It is drawn and written by some Azn.
Part 1: YOU CHARED MONSTER
The comic starts with Aang and the rest talking to the Earth King about how HARMONY needs to be restored in the world with peace and love and decide that all the Fire Nation colonies with Japs still living in them need to be removed in order for everyone to be happy. Everyone except them Japs of course, but who cares about their opinion since they made everyone miserable for over 100 years? They all go to see a bunch of fireworks and celebrations and in the mist of it all Zuko makes Aang promise to kill him if he became exactly like his daddy. Leave it to an emo to ruin the festivities. Cut to one year later, Zuko gets almost assassinated for the penultimate time and fights a chick, whom he spares.
He then sends the assassin back to her parents, who basically call him a TRAITOR for not giving a fuck about what his subjects have to say. Zuko then calls off all arrangements to move all of the invaders out and Aang gets pretty pissed off about it. A bunch of powerless people led by a she-male and a guy who doesn't talk alot also get pissed off about Zuko's decision and after Aang had a lengthy discussion with him off-screen, they decided to give them 3 days to make the arsonists leave peacefully before they curbstomped every single one of them out of the city. Zuko then hires better bodyguards but still has trouble sleeping. He then goes to see his father and asks him for some royal advice, rather than Iroh or read through his great-grandfather's livejournal once moar. A treacherous little shit until the very end.
Part 2: Rival Schools Electric Boogaloo
We're supposed to give a fuck about what could happen to Zuko and whether Aang will value their friendship moar than doing the world a favor and killing this sack of fail (despite bawwing about whether to kill Ozai or not for half of the third season) but that's kinda pointless since we already know that Zuko survives and sires at least one spawn thanks to the online game found on Nick.com way before this was even slightly mentioned in TLoK.
Fuck that noise though, it's time for wacky shenanigans! Toph tries to teach metalbending to some under-qualified students, but there is a rival coalbending school which the wussy students have to fight against to regain their training premise. Toph wins her school back by having her students forcing the coalbending teacher to sit. With a bunch of coin tosses. Srsly.
Also the Earth King finally grows some balls and sends a fleet of ships in order to give Zuko an ultimatum.
Part 3: I WON'T BUY THIS FOR A DOLLAR
Well what do you know it, the Harmony Restoration Movement failed! What a surprise!
The final comic starts with Zuko having a wet dream which doesn't involve his mom's tits or a good old family orgy. Instead, he's angsting with great character development about what he has to do now that he's got something evil called responsibility to deal with in his life. Aang shows up in the dream to kill him (what's up with the sudden bloodlust kid?) with Ozai and Roku's manipulative asses bitching and moaning about who's got the biggest dick when it comes to power struggles. Right when Aang was about to kill Zuko, both wake up. Sheeeeeet.
After waking up, Aang tries to warn the citizens to escape, but gets almost axed in the process. Sneers, rather than stick to his principles and keep fighting against the Fire Nation, decided to ditch the whole Freedom Figther shtick in order to get some sassy mixed-blood poon. Good for him. Later, Aang's Fan Club- yes, just roll with it, decide to become the Avatar world's first Air Nomad cosplayers, which makes Aang rightfully pissed.
We go back to Zuko and see him mumble his thoughts towards a portrait of Iroh, making the reader believe that somehow Iroh died during the one year vacation he took ever since the main series ended. He shows up at the end of the comic, very much alive. So... ha ha? Everyone has their separate angst scene and before Katara can tell Aang that keeping the nations separate may not be such a good idea, because if they do they couldn't get marr-
THE WAR STARTS! FUCKING FINALLY!
Everyone fights and kills a few of each other's side before skipping all of the filler bla bla bullshit and getting the message into their thick inbendingbred skulls. Ever since the 100-year War ended, a part of the Avatar world became multicultural, so keeping Yu Dao separated bending-wise would be like having the Brits nowadays chuck everyone who's not English out of London. Not that they'd need a pesky excuse like war to do that if they could. Things go back to norm, everyone's happy yada yada.
Well not everyone. Avatar Roku got the end of the stick for being such a goddamned lying cunt and Aang cut him off from the spiritual intercom until he also bit the dust.
Now that's a happy ending.
Amazingly enough, some fantards still give a shit about the "Where's Zuko's Mom?" subplot despite the fact that the planned episode for it got cancelled more the four years ago because Zuko already had a full episode centered around him. Bryke suddenly smelt that a few moar $$ can be whisked away from these poor saps and rightfully so. Why should Zuko of all characters get not one, but TWO episodes centered around his boring emo ass you goddamned fangirls? Ever heard of fanficton or moving on with your fucking lives?
This will probably result in the fantards whining about how the offical story didn't match their crappy headcanon theory because why ask for answers if you're gonna bitch and moan about them when you'll receive them, especially if they don't suck? *It's like these bitches live to complain.
-After the comic was released, the bitches complained. Bitch bitch bitch. That's all they're good at anyway.
Part 1: Who's your daddy?
Apparently Bryke actually tried to put some effort into this comic despite the fact that the fangirls will complain about the storyline even if William Shakespeare himself rose from the grave to pen the script. Whatever. Turns out that Ursa was young once and had a lover boy before Azulon and the Joker found her location through her Facebook account. Despite already accepting her boyfriend's proposal, Ursa accepted Ozai's straight away because she couldn't resist the bling. Oh and something to do with HONOURRR too. Bitch.
Cut to present day. A boring lecture not involving secret handjobs later, Zuko goes to talk to Azula. Still crazy, still locked up. She and Ozai have a private talk which probably involved spoilers, because Azula found her mother's secret love letters stashed up alongside her 'research' involving opera porn and Fifty Shades of whatever fanfiction. After convincing Zuko to tag her along, the Gaang reunited in order to go to look for Zuko's mommy (with the exception of Toph, thus sparing us from dealing with the boring pipebending academy plotshit again) whilst keeping an eye on Azula. Some wolf spirit shows up but we know too little about it to give a shit at this point.
Heads up if it's Ursa's ex, even a 5 year old could see that twist coming.
Later that day, much much later, Zuzu steals one of the letter's Azula kept on her, amazingly without waking her up. IKR?
It turns out that Zuko might be a bastard child. Or, in case Bryke felt merciful, Azula turned out was the bastard child. Hey, like that they wouldn't need to resort killing her in order for Zuko to become Fire Lord. Besides we know he does anyway, just not how. At least Azula wouldn't need to go through the 'death to gain redemption' cliche like that either.
Will Zuzu know how to deal with family ties? Will Azula get crazzier than ever? How will this storyline go on without it becoming 'Days of Our Lives' all over again?
Tune in next time! Same Aang channel, same Aang hour!
Really Old Avatar Shit
The Avatar Podcast
How would you like to sit for about 30 minutes on average and listen to some creepy internet nerds analyze a children's show to the every last retarded detail? Look no further than From the Spirit World: The legendary podcast!
The podcast is hosted by some guy named Dylan and a wide selection of guests who vary in their levels of suck any given week. While the co-hosts and subject matter may change every show, the one thing that does remain constant is that it always blows giant Appa cock and offers nothing of value or interest. It's basically just a bunch of basement dwellers talking about an episode and over-analyzing the FUCK out of it to the degree most nerds would reserve for End of Evangelion. The only problem is this is a kids show on Nick, and thus there is nothing to think about. Also let's not forget the creepy geek wheeze-laughs Dylan sputters every few minutes when something "witty" is said, or when one can literally hear him popping a boner over Aang shota pics. Below is a 100% accurate rendition of the podcast:
Listening to this podcast for the full half hour will make you want to kill yourself for failing so hard at life that you loved a children's cartoon enough to listen to idiots converse about how "Sokka's making a joke because he's emo for his daddy" or "Zuko loves it up the butt because we saw him bend over 4 times this episode."
The Great Sifu Kisu Drama of 2008
According to the internet, Last Thursday, a member of CAPSLOCK_ATLA aka a LJ site for lulz and porn (lacking that all right now though) wrote some sexy fanfiction involving Sifu Kisu and other members of the Avatar staff for laughs. While surfing around the internet one day, Sifu Kisu happened to find that shit and freaked out the only way that would get results...he posted a giant WTF about it in his MySpace blog. Drama and lulz ensued and the end result was him calling them a bunch of weird internet kids, and the journal members shooping the hell out of his photos and making him an Avatar meme of sorts. They also made sure to post his name a million times in each journal entry on the blog so that the internet search engines could find him better.
— Sifu Kisu- thinkin' 'bout doin' sumpin'
How I Became Yours
See also: How I Became Yours
You there! CAP THAT SHIT!
- Watch all the episodes at half quality for free until they get sued.
- Avatar Spirit, the place 13 year old kids who cant use Google go to get old news. Giant hugbox of a forum filled with fail and over analyzing of children's cartoon characters.
- Distant Horizons, another fansite, which much like an elderly man with some degenerative disease, gets more and more retarded each passing day.
- From the Spirit World fail podcast.
- Saving the World with Postage a site dedicated to casting Azn actors and actress for a movie meant for children.
- ...and another race wank site.
- Zutarama on fandom_wank<
- Horrifying fangirl podcast
-  A post on an old journal entry written by an attention whore who loves ice skating and vampires, sparks much butthurt and lulz. Trolls trolling trolls.
-  "I really have nothing against Aang." But "Is it so wrong to want to see him suffer because of all that he's getting?"
- Capslock_Zutara Circlejerking home for crazy fangirls drawing porn
- Another goddamn LJ Community
- Capslock_Kataang another retarded community on LJ for Katara and teh shota.
- Capslock_ATLA some lulz, mostly morons adding text to jpgs like it was /cat/
- left the internet forever when she realized people only watched her DA to get info about illegal episode downloads. aka the first epic attention whore in the fanbase. Got emo butthurt and
- Thought their ship is news-worthy. Tartlets are encouraged to comment.
- Wank 1
- Wank 2
- Shitty comic that'll show the creators HOW IT'S DONE updated at a fever-pitch pace of 1 page every 3 months.
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