B3ta is the English version of Something Awful, with a more image board style along the lines of 4chan. Its owners love fluffy animals, swearing, alcohol, sarcasm, Doctor Who, MSPaint, and Photoshop mutations. It doesn't have as many features as SA; no Horrors of Porn, no Your Band Sucks, no links to extra comics, and no 10bux. To some, this could be considered a blessing. It does, however, have the stories, weekly Photoshop challenges, a few animutation Flash videos, and a few fucked-up games such as one where the player tries to identify whether a picture is of an actual woman or a tranny.
Like users of 4chan's /b/, users of b3ta refer to themselves as "b3tards", which is pronounced exactly the same way as /b/tard: in the United Kingdom, the Greek letter "beta" is pronounced "BEE-ta" (as in "beat off") rather than "BAY-ta" (as in "masturbater"). Posting outright porn on the image board is prohibited, but users can post links if it's marked NSFW, and if it's something funny. The primary rule is to be funny and be original. Unlike /b/, you can't post other peoples' material, and reposts are usually only allowed as replies to other messages.
Users must have accounts to post, though anyone can read. Users can't post right away after applying for an account: they must wait until the following Tuesday (Greenwich Mean Time) to be activated -- Tuesdays are referred to as "Newbie Tuesday". This gives the users time to read the types of messages that appear on the board and learn how to be funny instead of just stupid.
Unlike most American image boards, the people on b3ta actually are pretty nice. If you post something funny or a really cool Photoshop, they will usually compliment you. If you post something awesome, it may very well get frontpaged, which is pretty much the same as getting frontpaged on Encyclopedia Dramatica -- it means you are lulzworthy. Flamewars and trolling are very uncommon and usually result in a swift hit with the banhammer.
The most commonly seen image on b3ta is the CDC, which stands not for Centers for Disease Control, but for "crudely drawn cock". MSPaint is the preferred medium for CDC creation. In fact, there is a very precise set of specifications to which one's CDC must be created, as follows.
- The CDC must always be colored magenta.
- Outlines should be black, for the "bell end".
- Each ball should have exactly three hairs on it.
- Spunk should be white, though feel free to create it using any tool you like.
It takes roughly 10 seconds to draw a CDC, but that doesn't stop some b3tards from modeling them in 3D Studio.
b3ta makes heavy use of acronyms, many of which are exclusive to b3ta alone. As a lot of these are British expressions, a handy glossary feature is available to explain the in-jokes and catchphrases.
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