—Hipcrime, dreaming of Wikipedians
Hipcrime, aka poko and fka Badmachine, is a current ED SysOp and was a reputable TOW editor until they banned the fuck out of him. According to his extinct former user page, after much homosexuality in the 80's, his resulting incontinence led to an unknown period of change in the 90's, and would eventually lead Encyclopedia Dramatica and Lil B in the 2000's.
Why Wikipedia Doesn't Appreciate Hipcrime
—Some asshole at ANI, displaying a mixture of jealousy and butthurt.
Countless times has Hipcrime led holy crusades into the kingdom of TOW, inserting truth, removing vandalism , and defending the lessers of Wikipedia. Although Wikipedia is the alleged "sum of all human knowledge", the majority of Wikipedians have a strong distaste for Hipcrime's perfectly-sourced information, telling him to "go be insensitive somewhere else".
Because Hipcrime was actually enjoying his editing on Wikipedia, some humorless cunt named Rklawton told him "we are here to create and edit an encyclopedia. If you lose sight of this fact, you'll find yourself in opposition to those of us who haven't." But they didn't stop there, as the Wikipedians went onto whine about the glorious 50 penis post that was included on Hipcrime's userpage. While Wikipedia is not censored, they decided it would be best to sperg out about images of the male anatomy on a userpage.
After grudgingly removing his precious penises, Badmachine retaliated by adding a GNAA userbox to his talk page. This caused even worse rectal wreckage in the aspies at Wikipedia because of the GNAA's recent release of thousands of logs from Wikipedia IRC exposing their canvassing, sex chats, and general dickery.
After replacing the dongs with a boring bio, some power-mad failure named Qwyrxian decided that Hipcrime's userpage was a violation of TOW policy because there was no way to prove that his biography on it was legitimate. This reason being pulled out of his ass because of Qwyrxian's constant Hipcrime-induced rage at Talk:Lil B, a subject Qwyrxian (Aaron Hahn) knows nothing about outside of a single Google search.
—Meepsheep, a truth machine
Finally, the IRC aspies had enough. A sock was hastily thrown together, and a kangaroo court decided that Badmachine had a multitude of sockpuppets. WMF embarrassment and lowly employee Ironholds (Oliver Keyes) decided enough was enough and set out to remove Hipcrime once and for all. After blocking him, Hipcrime left a reasonable unblock request that was denied by none other than Ironholds' girlfriend. This is seriously how Wikipedia operates.
After Badmachine threatened to expose this travesty of justice, his user talk access was revoked by renowned sandwich artist Deskana, which led to retaliatory action, and ArbCom taking over the block.
Unfortunately, the dicks refused to remove the ban, which promoted much GNAA flooding of Wikipedia IRC, to the point that both #wikipedia-en and #wikipedia were kept on +r for extended periods. Once more, Wikipedia has been trolled, and has lost.
[20:22] <+Ironholds> badmachine, I'm not in any kind of relationship with the declining sysop. Shut your pie-hole. [20:22] <badmachine> lol [20:22] <+Ironholds> indeed, for the longest of times she wanted to break my neck [20:23] <badmachine> what a thing for the community liaison to say [20:23] <+Ironholds> I'm here in a personal role
- Hipcrime - His ED user page.
- Willy on Wheels
- The 1000 Titles of Hipcrime
- We love badmachine
- WP:You have no rights
- Badmachine is all that remains of his censored talk (the rest is archived at
Wikipedia:User talk:Badmachine/Archive 1"blanked as a courtesy" by Wikipedia) but some parts of his censored talk is archived on the Wayback Machine. His old gallery Badmachineon the list of banned losers
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