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Who needs a girlfriend?

Barbie is a 'fashion doll' produced by Mattel, the world's largest toy company, designed to provide girls insight into the desires of hetrosexual adult males and encourage them not to grow up to become a big fat mess like their mother. The dolls can be picked up for as little as $14.99 from your local Toys Я Us however, like anything with a fandom, there are people out there willing to part with obscene amounts of money, in some cases tens of thousands of dollars in order to secure a limited or 'vintage' edition.


America's Whore

If Barbie were a real person, her tits would be so big and her waist and legs so small that she'd have to walk around on all fours around the kitchen... but you'd probably be making her do that anyway.


Respectable mother.



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