Battlefield Play4Free

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Battlefield Play4Free a.k.a Battlefield Pay2Win a.k.a Battlefield Cash4EA a.k.a EA Donation Center is another subpar free-to-play shooter creation by EAsy studios (same assholes who made Battlefield Heroes), a subsidiary of EA. This game has been ripped off from Battlefield 2 then mashed with Bad Company 2 and ridden with bugs that will never be fixed. To succeed in this game, despite what the name of the title says you actually must pay (with real money) for content in order to win hence this game has often been called Battlefield Pay2Win. Thus, it's possible to earn a FEW Play4Free Funds without paying by doing thousands of surveys that will never give you your Funds and invading your computer with viruses. It only features Assault as the only gamemode and is set between US Marines and Russian Forces, typical.

EAsy never fixes bugs like these but instead focus on ways of getting as much moniez from you suckaz as they can.

Features[edit]

Despite what the Battlefield series are known for, going solo actually works in this shitty game. In fact you can play this like Call of Duty. This game is full of prepubescent kids and bored adults. You can even look like a faggot or a tryhard with the assortment of horrible apparel available for purchase that only appeal to other boyz to try and look kewl. This game is so terrible and EAsy studios are such greedy jews you are better off spending money in one go such as $10 on Battlefield 2 (if there is anyone willing to play lol) or if you have a decent PC, Battlefield 3.

Currency[edit]

Credits[edit]

Credits are earned in-game and are used as a temporary and free alternative to try out weapons and boosters. Following the updates to this game, now you can earn even less credits so the jews at EAsy studios will force you to spend Battlefunds to get your precious weapons.

Battlefunds[edit]

Battlefunds (BF) must be purchased with IRL money or sometimes earned by wasting your life away on stupid in-game competitions and events or participating in non-existent surveys. The jewgold of this game allows you to buy overpowered weapons and make any 13 year old and noob cheapskates BAWWWWW while keeping the pockets of EAsy studios fat.

Training Points[edit]

In order to improve the abilities of your soldier you must assign training points as you level up to specific abilities. Some are actually basic abilities (e.g. being able to pilot helicopters) already in other Battlefield games If you want more training points you must spend the equivalent amount of a new game to get ALL the training points to make your soldier the true One-Man-Army.

Maps[edit]

Play4Free has maps which are blatantly ripped off from Battlefield 2 then adding slight touches so players new to Battlefield obviously won't recognise them but older players may play them to death again.

Karkand[edit]

Classic Battlefield 2 map with ground warfare. Watch for Recons camp at Rooftops sniping your ass away.

Sharqi[edit]

No vehicles. After a server rotation from a map with vehicles, expect half the players to disappear. Prior to certain updates, the chances of getting a kill by spamming grenades at B is high. Expect shotgun users especially USAS-12 users to go rampant.

Oman[edit]

Vehicle whore heaven. Expect half the US team to not provide any useful contribution whatsoever as 13 year old retards camp for aircraft at the carrier then only to see them take flight for 5 seconds before crashing into the ocean or get shot down quickly by enemy anti-air racks if they fly inland.

Dragonvalley[edit]

More like Camp 4 Littlebird. The scout helicopter is a highly sought after vehicle in this map and expect vehicle whores to come running for it. The scout helicopter is capable of delivering fully automatic rape while being hard to hit at the same time. Map is rendered barely playable due to excess fog. Also if you pilot the Apache there is significant lag every 5 seconds and eventually the next moment you will crash into something.

Basra[edit]

No vehicles. If you are on a team full of noobs then expect to be base raped by the opposition with little prospect of moving 50 metres beyond your only flag before getting killed. Noob recons at B will snipe away with their shitty bolt-action rifles and most can be taken down by flanking and giving them a good knife in the back.

Boosters[edit]

Can't take down anyone because you are too incompetent? Buy a booster! Boosters range from increasing the defence for vehicles to increasing the damage and blast radius of explosives. These were introduced after EAsy deliberately nerfed (weakened) certain weapons then forced you to buy boosters to increase if not restore them to their original damage in an attempt to get more jewgoldz. The most notorious booster is the RPG booster and its epic trolling opportunities are discussed in the Trolling section.

Business Model and Marketing[edit]

Like Battlefield Heroes, EAsy studios uses a freemium model for this game where this game can run on your shitty ghetto computer and you don't have to pay to start playing. But wait, did I say freemium? That's right! If you want the good shit you gotta pay for it!

You can only go so far in the game with default weapons as they have the firepower of water guns before you get tempted to purchase virtual weapons with better stats and get sucked in for your moniez while also EAsy finds ways of crippling the game so much that it only becomes playable by spending Battlefunds which are mostly acquired by spending real life moneys. Then you have to steal your mum's or sister's credit card to sustain your addiction. The marketing methods used by EAsy studios are no different from those used by drug dealers and there are three options for you:

  • A) Put up with it
  • B) Sober up
  • C) Go find another dealer

Gameplay[edit]

Communication[edit]

AMMO! GIVE ME SOME AMMO! AMMO! GIVE ME SOME AMMO! AMMO! GIVE ME SOME AMMO! AMMO! GIVE ME SOME AMMO! AMMO! GIVE ME SOME AMMO! AMMO! GIVE ME SOME AMMO! AMMO! GIVE ME SOME AMMO! MEDIC! MEDIC! MEDIC! MEDIC! MEDIC! MEDIC! MEDIC! MEDIC! MEDIC! MEDIC! MEDIC! MEDIC! MEDIC! MEDIC!

There is no voice communication but there is censorship in text chatting to censor obvious profanities (which can be bypassed with special words) and even legitimate words as their algorithms are made of fail.

Classes[edit]

Being a blatant rip off of Battlefield 2 but with a mixture of Bad Company 2 playstyle there are 4 classes:

Assault[edit]

Being able to use assault rifles or shotgun and with the help of their ammo boxes this class allows noobs/hackers to camp indefinitely and fire away. A popular class for retards.

The Average Assault[edit]

  • Whores the AEK-971/M16A2 if they are a credit user.
  • Never gives any goddamn ammo!
  • Is deaf.

Medic[edit]

An excellent class for defibrillator orgies and lay rape with their LMG as they become Rambo Jesus. To stop this, pack a booster RPG for this bullshit (see Engineer) You can use other machine guns as a Medic, but since the M249 is the most accurate and powerful gun in the game with the largest magazine capacity, noone ever does. Being able to distribute medkits also help sustain their filthy camping habits.

The Average Medic[edit]

  • Tortures teammates by reviving them in front of enemies so they die again 1 second later.
  • Cannot aim with their defibrillator so the person supposed to be revived dies anyway.
  • Is deaf.
  • Whores the M249.

Engineer[edit]

Engineers come with the sub-machine gun or shotgun. The easiest class for trolling and actually worthwhile is once again the Engineer class which is anti-tank class that is also able to repair vehicles. If at least half the team is full of these guys, any vehicle on the opposing team unfortunate enough to be tagged will be showered by RPG's within seconds. PROTIP: Equip the RPG booster for epic trolling opportunities and watch the hate messages fill the screen.

The Average Engineer[edit]

  • Never repairs friendly vehicles.
  • Only uses their RPG against infantry and untraced choppers.
  • Can't hit a target with an RPG if it's three metres away and not moving.
  • Whores vehicles.
  • Whores the MP7/MP5 if they are a credit/BF user.
  • Is blind.

Recon[edit]

A favourite class for campers, pussies and noobs with their sniper rifles. The most hated class for providing little contribution even from long range. Nonetheless expect experienced Recons to rain death now and then with Mortar Strikes. If half your team are filled with these assholes, expect to lose.

The Average Recon[edit]

  • Is paraplegic.
  • Never uses their Motion Mines.
  • Provides little to no contribution of any kind despite their excuse that they are supposed to attack from long range.
  • Almost never watches their back and can be knifed from behind with almost no difficulty since half of them places their claymores in poor positions.
  • Whores the M24/M95.

Trolling[edit]

Trolling grants you the title of being the progeny of fascists!

Despite having no friendly fire, not being able to vote kick players there are great trolling opportunities. Additionally the gameplay is similar to that of Bad Company 2 hence the trolling methods used there also apply to a certain extent here. There are general trolling methods and class specific trolling methods.

  • Pilot a helicopter then crash it 5 seconds later. The more passengers/crew the better.
  • Use excess profanity (be creative to bypass censors) directed towards specific individuals and combine with other trolling techniques to cause them to rage quit
  • Use an aimbotter and once you have an exceedingly high K/D ratio, half the opposing team will ragequit and those who stay will enjoy their very low K/D ratio and make the game unplayable. EAsy does not ban hackers despite their reporting system.
  • Go towards a heavily populated spawn area. Don't capture the flag but kill everyone who spawns there. This is known as spawn killing/camping WINNING.
  • Similar to above, in Oman take a jet fighter then fly towards the enemy base then shoot down the transport chopper. You can get 2 to 6 free kills before you must fly away as soon as possible before getting get shot down by anti-air racks.
  • Sit on an anti-air rack at your base and destroy aircraft before anyone can get into them.
  • In Dragonvalley, park a tank on the scout helicopter helipad at B. Watch the hate pour in from hate messages to teammates shooting at you in vain to express their frustration at not being able to use the rape machine.
  • Spam grenades. You are guaranteed a kill! Useless as now the grenades have been nerfed.
  • If you see an engineer leave his tank to repair it... steal it and drive off as far away as you can! Or even better, attach several bricks of C4 to the opposite side, and detonate.
  • In Sharqi or maybe Basra, equip the USAS shotgun and go on a rampage. Expect chat messages accusing you of being a noob.
  • Hold Q and randomly point anywhere on the screen and hopefully spot an enemy. Now keep shooting at the target until you get a confirmed kill and an insane range bonus (+100 or more) and then get accused of hacking. The shorter the effective range of the weapon the better such as sub-machine guns or pistols.

Assault[edit]

  • Use your C4! After the introduction of Tier 3, assault players with a brain have found many creative uses as below:
  • Attach C4 to fast or transport vehicles drive them and the moment you find a suitable target, bail then detonate your C4. Type in "ALLAH ACKBAR JIHAD INFIDEL!"
  • Place C4 at or near flags that are about to be taken by the enemy. As soon as the target flag becomes that of the enemy, detonate the C4.
  • Drive a vehicle preferably into enemy territory, get out then place some C4 on it. Eventually any moron will come take it then all you have to do is detonate the C4.
  • Don't give ammo even when requested.

Medic[edit]

  • Sit in a corner, place a medkit or two next to you then wait for opponents. If anyone who attempts to pry you out of your camping spot, use your LMG to deal with them and your medkits will help sustain your camping.
  • Don't give medkits even when requested.

Engineer[edit]

  • Equip the RPG booster. Remember that cannot hurt yourself with the RPG so you can headshot with the RPG right in someone's face at point blank range or aim at your feet and still take out an enemy nearby. Feel free to fire this weapon at the other side of the map as the large blast radius and increased damage will likely get someone. This trolling technique is currently the most effective and is GUARANTEED to generate butthurt. The reactions on the Play4Free forum are priceless too! Expect to be accused of being an associate or progeny of Hitler. The butthurt reactions of such victims on the Play4Free forum is endless.
  • Place mines in front of unoccupied vehicles, get in, park over them, and get out. Wait in a bush and wait for ensuing lulz.
  • Damage/destroy vehicles at your base with your RPG before anyone gets in.

Recon[edit]

  • Get a VSS Vintorez, pretend you are an Assault and kill people with your scoped sub-machine gun.
  • Find a high position, sit there and snipe away. Disregard messages requesting your assistance and laugh at any futile attempt by someone to pry you off your spot.

Media[edit]

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