Beatmania IIDX

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BeatmaniaIIDXLogoBig.gif

Beatmania IIDX is a music game by the creators of DDR and Pop'n Music that involves button mashing to shit techno tunes. This is marketed as a DJ simulation game, but only a fucktard would believe this is true, because DJs don't mash buttons at over 9000 key presses per second. Also, their disc scratches sound like actual disc scratches. If you choose to remove social life, your family, women, sex and pretty much everything else that involves other human beings, then it's the game you must play. This, or Pop'n Music.


Gameplay[edit]

The goal of this game is to destroy the turntable controller by mashing your hands over it until they become a pile of skin, or they just burn into flames. Doing this will make the music hearable. If you play like shit, the music will sound like shit, like in Pop'n Music. Also, there's a vinyl disc that sits besides the keys, just to make sure it looks like a DJ game. But when you scratch it, it makes any random sounds, so it's like just another key, but it's harder to press.

Typical Beatmania IIDX gameplay
Real men play this game with two controllers

The series[edit]

SERIOUS business in IIDX 17
The 17 18th game in the series.
beatmania IIDX 19 Lincoln
The upcoming game in the series.

Beatmania is the Street Fighter 2 of music games. The second game gets a series while nobody gives a fuck about the first one. But it's way much worse, since Konami will release beatmania IIDX 23 Copulate feat. Thomas the Tank Engine this year. On the other hand, they've stopped making PS2 ports since IIDX FOR GIRLS, because it's an old overrated console, but it's still possible to get a more recent game, like beatmania IIDX 22 Apocalypse for the PC.

The only differences between each game are some additional shit tunes and a different look, but the game is still the same. Except for SERIOUS business in IIDX 17, where they've added Charge Notes, a mechanic that forces you to hold notes. Konami is retarded enough to wait 10 years before they add this mechanic. Then in beatmania IIDX 23 Copulate feat. Thomas the Tank Engine they made it so if you don't hold the notes you will slowly die, as if the mechanic wasn't fucking annoying enough.

There was also a PS2 US release for this game called simply beatmania, which is a copypasta of IIDX 9th Style, but with different tunes. It was in stores for only 10 seconds because nobody have heard of this game before. In 2015 they made beatmania IIDX INFINITE ASS but it was shit, and also only for Japanese because REASONS.

List of games[edit]

  • beatmania IIDX (1999)
  • beatmania IIDX not 2nd style, but substream (1999) (same shit as above)
  • beatmania IIDX 2nd style (1999) (same shit as above)
  • beatmania IIDX 3rd style (2000) (same shit as above)
  • beatmania IIDX 4th style (2000) (same shit as above)
  • beatmania IIDX 5th style (2001) (same shit as above)
  • beatmania IIDX 6th style (2001) (same shit as above)
  • beatmania IIDX 7th style (2002) (same shit as above)
  • beatmania IIDX 8th style (2002) (same shit as above)
  • beatmania IIDX 9th style (2003) (same shit as above)
  • beatmania IIDX 10th style (2004) (same shit as above)
  • beatmania IIDX 11th style IIDXRED (2004) (same shit as above)
  • beatmania IIDX 12 HAPPY SKY (2005) (same shit as above)
  • beatmania IIDX 13 DistorteD (2006) (same shit as above)
  • beatmania IIDX 14 GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLD (2007) (same shit as above)
  • Call of beatmania IIDX 15 - Modern DJ Warfare (2007) (same shit as above)
  • beatmania IIDX FOR GIRLS (2008) (same shit as above)
  • SERIOUS business in IIDX 17 (2009) (a bit different than above)
  • beatmania IIDX 18 Resort Anthem (2010) (same shit as above)
  • beatmania IIDX 19 Lincoln (2011) (same shit as above)
  • beatmania IIDX 20 We ran out of names (2012) (same shit as above)
  • beatmania IIDX 21 ...what (2013) (same shit as above)
  • beatmania IIDX 22 Apocalypse (2014) (same shit as above)
  • beatmania IIDX 23 Copulate feat. Thomas the Tank Engine (2015) (same shit as above)
  • beatmania IIDX 24 Shitty Buttz (2016) (same shit as above)
  • beatmania IIDX 25 DAYTONAAAAA LET'S GO AWAY~ (2017) (same shit as above)
  • beatmania IIDX 26 Rootage (2018) (same shit as above)

Miscellaneous console releases[edit]

  • beatmania Amerifat edition (2006) (same shit as 9th style)
  • beatmania IIDX INFINITE ASS (2015) (same shit as SERIOUS business, and also a pile of hot garbage)

Characters[edit]

beatmania IIDX 18 Poster
A way to lure people in the hell that is this game.
beatmania IIDX Iroha Candy Rabbit Figurine
These unimportant characters are also made into figurines.
beatmania IIDX AAA Result Screen
You win

Yes, in such a shitty game, there are actual characters! But most of them are either douchebags or fap material. The funny thing is they are supposed to be DJs. In the game, they appear in the result screen, when you win hard at this game, or if you simply lost your life. They also appear in the Party Mode since SERIOUS business in IIDX 17 (because this game is serious business, so they have to add everything in this particular one), but this mode is for noobs who want to become a pro. Apparently, these characters have fans, so they had to write a fucking story about each of them. But most of their stories involve playing IIDX and other shit Konami music games with other characters. But that's not all, there are people who practice cosplaying based on these characters. The problem is the fact that nobody knows (let alone gives a fuck) about their personnality. So they end up acting like a fail DJ.


{{frame|{{fv|bm2dxcosplayvid|background-color: #FF9912;|font-weight: bold;|
<center>A fail attempt at cosplaying Eiri

</center>

See Also

External Links[edit]

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