Ben Johnson

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Jump to: navigation, search
Hiding his true self, as usual
Ben and other Iowa College Republicans, thrilled to meet Senator Larry Craig in 2005
Please don't squeeze the Chairman
Shopping for the 2005 College Republican Barbeque (NOT GAY)
Iowa College Republicans admiring their cardboard cut-out of George W. Bush
Ben ejaculates as he reaches for "Mitt"
Mitt wants him around
Ben is a member of the Beta Theta Pi fraternity.
The first seven comments in response to Ben's YouTube presentation
Wonkette discovers Ben

Ben Johnson, a senior (4th year student) at the University of Iowa, is the secretly gay Chairman of the Iowa Federation of College Republicans. The Iowa Federation of College Republicans is the largest, most successful youth-based political organization in the state of Iowa, with clubs on over 20 of Iowa's college campuses. It is their mission to train, energize and mobilize college students to help elect Republican candidates by providing grass-roots manpower to campaigns.

Ben, a double-major in psychology and physics, flamboyantly leads more than 7,000 Iowa college Republicans. Before college, Ben Johnson started three Young Republicans clubs at Prairie High School, Cedar Rapids, as well as in in other nearby high schools.

What is Iowa[edit]

For the benefit of those fortunate enough not to be in the USA, the central US farming state of Iowa, just west of Chicago, has a unique and tl;dr role in selecting the presidential nominees of the two major political parties, the Democrats and the Republicans. Iowa also has more meth labs per capita than any other US state.

The video debut[edit]

In November, 2007 Ben recorded two videos with "Iowa Independent," an organization specializing in being "undecided" about such things as "Is George Bush an idiot?" during the 2004 election, right up until election day. On these videos, which were posted on YouTube, Ben gushed about how totally excited he was to be a Young Republican, and it became perfectly obvious to the Gaydar of people who aren't even gay that this guy is a raging queen.

Ben Johnson, more like Ben Dover amirite? Ben gaily asserts that the Iraq War is the necessary "retribution" for 9/11, and that George Bush only has a "communication problem."

Ben explains his very personal commitment to supporting "The Troops" by sending them beef jerky and staying in school.

From Ben's campaign to become Chairman[edit]

 
 
From a young age I enjoyed keeping the money I earned and therefore became a Conservative. I also enjoy nice browns of pipe tobacco, a fine suit, some hometown family values and flag-waving. Make love after war. - Ben Johnson
 

 


DENIAL! yeah right Ben![edit]

From: “Johnson, Benjamin A” Date: Thu, 29 Nov 2007 17:41:26

Dear National College Republican Leaders, Chairman and Distinguished officers, As some of you may or may not have seen, my YouTube interviews have been raising quite a bit of controversy ( and dare I say venomous hatred?) online and in some national media outlets. As my respected colleagues I would just like to personally clarify a few things to you,

  1. I am not actually gay, even though the way I dress and talk may betray that fact ever so slightly, ha.
  2. Some people are responding angrily in my defense and as I truly appreciate you support please do not stoop to their levels. We are above them in so many ways and I like keeping it that way.
  3. Solders in Iraq really do love beef jerky! I have the thank you letters to prove it. I encourage all of you to send them tons of it!

On a small side note, I find it strange that the ever so tolerant and accepting-of-all-lifestyles-Left have no problems calling me every gay-bashing offensive name in the book. Guess it just goes to prove that nothing is offensive or intolerant so long as your insulting a Republican. But none of it bothers me. If I am not hated by the Democrats, I am not doing my job. Two final quick things,

I am initiating Iowa’s Operation Iraqi Christmas for the fourth year in a row and I would love to encourage all of you to be apart of it. Please visit http://www.anysoldier.com. This site is amazing! It is like a facebook for the US military serving in Iraq, and every solder has their picture up and personal Christmas wish list listed now! It is an incredible way to make an impact in the lives of these armed service men and women who fight for freedom every day. I have my chapters serving about three solders a piece, so Iowa will be sending 91 packages with our CR stickers plastered all over them so the troops know exactly who is supporting them. I also will be sending a CR poster to every battalion with my email address asking for a thank you picture with our poster, those kind of pictures are priceless for good publicity! Just some Ideas. Secondly, I would like to encourage all of you to join me for the Iowa Caucuses! Even though actual caucusing is reserved only for Iowa residents, there are plenty of great events going on across the state and I promise you will not be bored, which is rather rare in Iowa. I have the complete schedules of where all the candidates will be speaking during the day as well as VIP invitations from each candidate to their after parties. It would be my honor to have any of you join me for this amazing political experience! So please contact me if your interested! I just want to say what an honor it has been working amongst such great Americans like yourselves! Thanks for your support and see you all soon!
Benjamin A. Johnson
Chairman
Iowa Federation of College Republicans

See also[edit]

Ben Johnson is part of a series on
Gay Republicans
[NO! CLOSE IT, CLOSE IT!OPEN THE CLOSET!]
Ben Johnson
is part of a series on Politics.
Ideologies: [You are wrong!We are right!]

Alt-rightAnarchyCapitalismCentrismCommunismConservatismDemocratHippieLiberalismLibertarianismMiltopismNaziNihilismNeo-conPacifismRepublicanSocialismTory

Issues: [Fuck it, Too lazy.Get it fixed!]

AbortionArab SpringBahrainBarron TrumpBirthCapital Gazette ShootingCISPADeath penaltyDrugsEnvironmentalismGaysGeorge Bush doesn't care about black peopleHeather LindGirlfriendsGround Zero MosqueMass ShootingGun controlGunsHealthcare (2) (3)• HomelessHousing CrisisHuntingIceslaveIranJim JordanMarijuana AddictionMarriageMiltopiaNAUPimpin'RacismRoseanne BarrShoesTaxesTerrorismUnemploymentWarWelfare

Politicians: [Rigging Elections is funVote for me]

AhmadinejadAkinB.AllenG. AllenAngleAshburnBachmannBhuttoBin LadenBlagojevichBlairBoehnerMo BrooksG.BrownS.BrownBunningDubya BushGeorge H. W. BushBurrByrdCainCameronChavezCheCheneyChomskyChretienChurchillClintonClinton IICleggCohenColemanCorbynCowgerCraigCruzCthulhuCunninghamCurtisD'AlemaDeanDelayDuterteDwyerEdwardsFaganFeinsteinFiorinaFoleyGerald FordRob FordFrankenGellerGillardGingrichGiulianiGonzalesGoreGrahamGravelGreeneGriffinHagueHansonHardingHarperHitlerHowardHuckabeeHusseinJacksonJamesJidetteJohnsonJohnson, BorisKennedyLaRoucheLBJLottKerryKindKingKissingerKucinichLewinskyLiebermanLimbaughLoughnerMajorMarceaux.comMarxMcBerryMcCainMcHenryMcKinneyMercerMichael BloombergMooreMorocco MoleMussoliniNaderNixonObamaO'DonnellO'RourkeOsbornePainePaladinoPalinPaulPelosiPencePerryPinochetPrittPutinQuahQuayleRasanskyReaganRendellRiceRobertsonRomneyRoveRuddRumsfeldRyanSaakashviliSandersSantorumSchumerSchwarzeneggerSharptonCyril SmithJacqui SmithSpitzerStevensStranahanSupremeTaitzThatcherThompsonThorleyTraficant, JimTPMMuckraker MoleTrudeauTrumpVenturaVitterWarsiWashingtonWaxmanWeinerWestWilliamsWilsonWolfowitzXXenophon

Parties: [No beer? Fuck that.Hell yeah, a party!]

America's Third PartyBlack BlocDramacratic PartyHard PartyLemon PartyLiberal Party of AustraliaNorth American DONG PartyOBAMACORNSocialist Workers PartyPirate PartyZapatistas

Tactics: [Rage Quit.How do I get elect?]

2013 US Government ShutdownBlaming ChinaCaptain Nigga DefendaCloward Piven StrategyCuckservativesDemockeryG20 Toronto LollercaustLiberal Butthurt SyndromeLiberal guiltMacaca#NotMySuperbowlChampsOccupy DemocratsOperation LemonpartyPlastic StrawsRaped StatisticsThe ResistanceAugust 6 & 9 1945UpworthyWunderground

See also: 2012 Elections2016 Presidential ElectionsInternet PoliticsPizzaGatePolitical communities