Beyblade

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So not gay.
File:Bey...What?.jpeg
Again... So not gay.

Beyblade, known in Japan as Babe Laid, or perhaps most accurately Gay Blade (that's so clever because you replace "bey" with "gay" and those two words sound alike so it's a very effective way of calling beyblade gay!) is a censored Japanese hentai anime about Muslim rape and kids playing with EXTREME Jew. In Japan it is one of the most successful hentai series ever, in the United States it is meant for a far younger public. To make it up, 4kids has added a furry to the series. We're not quite thankful, but the thought is supposed to count. The series was developed and created by Takao Aoki and was originally a comic before Satan had the awful idea of turning it into a television series. The first season had a whole 51 episodes, which means that people in Japan will literally watch anything as long as it involved large-eyed characters and some sort of machinery they use to beat each other to death with. Ok so this anime is basically created to sell stupid spinning toys to kids. Anyone who thinks otherwise is stupid. Anyway, this was the only way to sell those stupid toys because kids buy everything they see on cartoons. It worked with TMNT, Pokemon and YuGiOh.

Story[edit]

None. No seriously, there is no developing story. But since we're all friends in a very homophilic way.

There's one guy named Tyson. He's an emo with a top given to him by a Muslim. Since his top can't cut, he trains with his best friend Max, who also happens to be a Muslim. All of the sudden a nerdy boy from the Lulz club comes around and asks to join them. A furry and a ninja will join soon after the nerd. They just keep training, and training, and training, and training...

The story pretty much revolves around a group of Nazis known as Bladebreakers. They want to win the World Beyblading Championship, because the entire world apparently has nothing better to do than play with gay little toys. Tyson is the main character and he enters this championship to show how good he is at beyblading. He eventually beats some chink named Kai and they later have hot buttsecks and decide to take their faggotry on the road. They travel to China where they are run over by tanks. The rest of the plot consists of them buttfucking opponents from around the world to be BAYBLADE MASTAS! Then they get to Russia, and as it what is usually the case with Russia, they meet the most evil beybladers in the world. They then realize that an evil corporation called BIOVOLT was really controlling them with special Soviet war technologies. They beat the evil corporation and become BAYBLADE MASTAS!

This is Tyson's grandpa. In the original version he is running at Tyson with an exposed erection but it was edited by 4kids.

V-Force[edit]

This is what happens when enough dumbfucks watch a shitty show. Like Lost, it gets another season because network executives aren't quite satisfied with wiping their ass with 20 dollar bills. Basically all the little shitheads from the last one get gangraped by more evil beybladers. They then find out a giant robot was behind it all but the robot was apparently once human but thinks being a robot makes him happier. He then gets beat by Tyson who goes into a long monologue that tells everyone something about being happy and how you don't need to be a robot to be successful in life. The moral of the story is to really not be a black person

Successful[edit]

Sounds boring huh? But why is this series so popular in Japan? It's because we can't enjoy the full delight of this awesome series, since 4kids has taken the courage of turning this awesome hentai series in a series for children and Michael Jackson. Babe Laid (ですですですですです in Japanese) actually has a story, though noone knows what it's about, since noone can read Japanese in this modern age. Otaku's were trying, but they'd rather watch Naruto and Cardcaptor Sakura. The awesome lulz will never be seen on the western shore, not even through the almighty internets. The original catch phrase for show was "Go Shoot", but was replaced with "Let it Rip", to avoid references to school shootings.

Merchandise[edit]

As if Beyblade was not already filled with fail and weeaboo faggotry, the little children just couldn't get enough, so naturally, to give the little kiddies what they wanted, they started to make Beyblade Merchandise. Some of these products include:

  • Beyblade Spinning Top Toys (Because a group of friends gathering to watch a couple of tops spin into each other and last the longest is sooo much fun!
  • Beyblade Video Games These shitty games were made to let the kiddies eat their little hearts out, just in case they didn't want to play the game irl.

Rating[edit]

  • Action: The action brings you back to the old days where tits were not yet invented and tops were as cool as Judas Priest is now. Also, plenty of montages to go with the training and training and training... Not to mention dumb shouting at pieces of spinning plastic shit to move them around.
  • Lulz: Little to none, 4kids has erased most of the lulz and replaced them with an additional character, but the tops themselves aren't banned in most school districts. Tip a few of them with metal, tape a picture of Travis the Killer Chimp on them, and go to town.
  • Gayness: A group of 5 men, and that means ONLY MEN, who play with spinning tops and get critically hurt when playing with them. Sounds like Muslim.
  • Morals: The Power of Friendship! It can destroy more than the Nazi regime! Worth an expired coupon at Larry the Lulzy Laundrycleaner! Have a friend you faggot! Yeah right, they stole that shit concept from Yu-Gi-Oh, even though Beyblade was created before Yu Gi Oh.

See Also[edit]

External Links[edit]

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