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From Encyclopedia Dramatica
|Conspiracy Alert |
The subject of this article is at the center of a massive conspiracy. You should trust noone and come to your own conclusions based on the facts.
Bill "The Coz" Cosby (Powerword: William Henry Cosby, Jr.) is an African American television actor, sweater-aficionado, comedian and professional old person who was popular for about a week during the 1980s before the world entirely forgot about his existence for the next three decades. Unfortunately, this era of peace was shattered in 2014 when several dried-up fashion models from the 1900s began mounting a public smear campaign against Bill Cosby and alleged that he had been drugging and sticking his puddin' pop inside women and 16-year-old girls since the 1960s, and had somehow managed to get away with it for 50 fucking years despite being a goddamn nigger.
Prelude to a Quaalude
Bill Cosby's career as a made-for-TV Uncle Tom began in the mid-1960s when he landed a starring role in I Spy – A blatant and shitty ripoff of better and much more successful spy-themed shows such as James Bond and The Man From U.N.C.L.E. T.O.M. He then produced Fat Albert and the Cosby Kids, a shitty cartoon about a morbidly obese teenager who lived in the ghetto with his fellow gang members.
As a famous and rich celebrity, Bill Cosby has long been the victim of scam artists who want to take his hard-earned money away from him through any means necessary. Since the early 2000s Cosby has been the target of numerous false rape allegations which generally follow the exact same narrative – Cosby presents little white mystery pills to bitches, bitches accept said pills and then wake up 5 hours later mysteriously covered in Bill Cosby's semen. Bitches may also be asked to smear oatmeal on their faces and act like the Queen of Jordan.
While Cosby was able to successfully defend himself against these slanderous accusations for over a decade, this all changed in 2014 when Hannibal Buress, one of Cosby's fellow unfunny black comedians, sold him out during a stand-up "comedy" show and directly accused him of being a rapist. The ensuing shitstorm in the court of public opinion destroyed Bill Cosby's reputation as an unfunny nigger and successfully rebranded him as an unfunny nigger rapist who is literally worse than Hitler.
The one thing that most of Cosby's accusers seem to have in common is the fact that they are represented by man-hating feminist attorney and despicable human-being Gloria Allred✡ – A woman whose life's ambition is making men suffer and who is most well-known for attempting to spin anything and everything into "sexism".
- Andrea Constand is a bulldyke and probable transsexual whose accusations against Cosby are, so far, the only ones to actually result in criminal charges. It is highly probable that this lesbo was seduced by the Coz and then felt regret after cheating on her girlfriend with an elderly black man.
- Janice Dickinson (pronounced "Dick-In-Son") is a washed-up old hag and compulsive liar who has been known to refer to herself as "The world's first supermodel." despite being born 60 years after the first known use of the term "supermodel". She has permanent duckface and has been forced into bankruptcy as a result of spending all of her money on Botox and plastic surgery. She definitely has no monetary motive to accuse Bill Cosby of a rape that never actually happened.
- Judith "Judy" Huth claims that Bill Cosby forced her to give him a handjob at the Playboy Mansion when she was 15. Huth has admitted to lying about her age in order to enter the Playboy Mansion in the first place.
- Chloe Goins is a literal whore whose accusations against Cosby are nearly identical to those made by Judy Huth, the only difference being that she claims she was 18 at the time and video evidence exists that proves that neither her nor Bill Cosby were even at the Playboy Mansion on the day that she claims to have been raped.
- Beth Ferrier was Bill Cosby's long-time mistress who alleges that Bill Cosby drugged and raped her after she broke off their affair.
- Tamara Green is a former lawyer who was disbarred for stealing $20,000 from a client and is known to suffer from mental health issues. After Bill Cosby publically denied sexually assaulting Tamara, she immediately filed a frivolous lawsuit against him and his attorneys that alleged that his act of defending himself from her allegations had "Impugned her reputation." – Funny when you consider the fact that SHE STOLE $20,000 FROM ONE OF HER OWN CLIENTS.
- Louisa Moritz✡ (born Ciro Netto Castro) is yet another plastic surgery addicted Jew who claims that Bill Cosby stuck his willy in her mouth during a taping of The Tonight Show in 1971. Records prove that she and Cosby were never on The Tonight Show at the same time, yet she still insists that she is a victim and deserves money.
- P.J. Masten a.k.a. Patricia Masden is a former Playboy Bunny who claims that Bill Cosby raped her and 12 other Playboy bunnies in the 70s and 80s. She also accused sportscaster Marv Albert of sexually assaulting her in the late 1990s after another woman had publically accused him of sexual assault – Hilariously, the original accuser ended up accusing Patricia of being a liar who was "Riding her comet."
- Velma Dinkley (Powerword: Joan Tarshis) is a former child-detective who was the star of the 1970s animated sitcom Scooby Doo. Despite claiming that Cosby forced her to give him oral sex, she admits that she did not bite off his willy as she should have. Is a known alcoholic and claims to have talked with both aliens and God.
- Chelan Lasha is a criminal whose lengthy record includes prostitution, theft, disorderly conduct, trespassing, weapon possession and false reporting. Judging from her mugshot, she is also most likely a meth user and manufacturer.
- Linda Joy Traitz is a convicted drug trafficker who was released in 2012 after serving more than 3 years in prison. She has also been convicted of fraud.
- Beverly Johnson is a niggerette and former supermodel whose own manager has publically stated that both she and Janice Dickinson are lying about being sexually assaulted by Bill Cosby. She also falsely accused Chris Noth, her ex, of domestic violence after their breakup ended up costing her money. She also made false allegations against Mark Burk, another ex, who has provided proof that she is a mentally unstable liar. We also know that her story is bullshit because the majority of Cosby's other accusers suggest that he isn't even interested in the dark meat.
- Shawn Upshaw had a consensual affair with Bill Cosby and is currently the only woman that Bill Cosby has admitted to having an affair with. Shawn's daughter, Autumn Jackson, was sent to prison after being convicted for attempting to extort $40,000,000 out of Bill Cosby (who is possibly her biological father). After learning of the other accusations against Cosby, Shawn Upshaw suddenly determined that Cosby must have drugged and raped her as well and then made her own accusations against Cosby.
- La'Chelle Covington went to the police immediately after Bill Cosby allegedly attempted to guide her hand towards his crotch – After this failed and the police said no crime was committed, she changed her story and claimed Bill Cosby had also fondled her tits. La'Chelle's own sister has been quoted as saying "She wasn't molested."
- Renita Chaney Hill claims that Bill Cosby traveled the country with her and paid her tuition while drugging and raping her. Her parents approved of this arrangement.
- Sammy "Mayor Gonzo" Mays is a self-described "con-artist" who claims to have once broken into a minimum security prison so she could harass an inmate into giving an interview.
- Barbara Bowman is a failure of an actress whose career was so shit that she doesn't even meet the notability requirements for an article on TOW. Barbara claims that she was drugged and raped multiple times by Cosby, yet she kept coming back to him for years despite being constantly "raped" by him.
Botox-addict Janice Dickinson shows off her cancerous tits.
Chelan "Breaking Bad" Lasha
Convicted drug trafficker Linda Joy Traitz
Joyce Emmons takes a selfie
Lisa "Derpy" Jones
Cynthia Meyers, a witness to Cosby's alleged assaults
Lili "Pool's Closed" Bernard
Sammy "Mayor Gonzo" Mays
- Damon Wayans referred to Cosby's accusers as "unrapeable" and called their actions "a money hustle", he also questioned the size of Bill Cosby's penis due to its apparent amnesia-inducing properties.
- Whoopi Goldberg✡ defended Bill Cosby on The View which resulted in people making angry calls to the network because they disagreed with her opinion. The network heads then forced Whoopi to change her opinion under the threat of being fired and lynched.
- Kanye tweeted "BILL COSBY INNOCENT !!!!!!!!!!" and was promptly bombarded with harassment from Twitter feminists and SJWs who vowed that they would never listen to his music again (despite never having listened to it in the first place).
- Phylicia Rashad defended Bill Cosby and was quickly misquoted by the media in an attempt to demonize her.
- Camille Cosby has continued to defend her husband despite the fact that he has admitted to cheating on her and is the unfunniest man on Earth.
- Eddie Griffin has publically stated that the accusations against Bill Cosby are part of a systematic conspiracy to bring down all successful black men.
- Waka Flocka Flame believes that Bill Cosby is being framed and the accusations against him are "propaganda" and an "organized lie".
- Don Gibble is Beverly Johnson's former manager and has publically suggested that both Beverly Johnson and Janice Dickinson are lying. He is the only white person to ever defend Bill Cosby.
- Rush Limbaugh thinks that CNN set him up in response to Cosby doing the 'Pound Cake' speeches to blacks telling them to take some personal responsibility for once.
- LulzKiller and Meepsheep think that there's no way Cosby would fuck with any of those ugly ass bitches when a high-end escort who knows to keep her mouth shut would not at all be a financial burden when you're Bill Cosby.
Cosby as a Trolling Technique
Trolling Cosby Haters
- Say that Bill Cosby is innocent.
- Point out that the vast majority of his accusers are known criminals, liars and batshit insane bitches.
- Make Cosby rape jokes.
Trolling Cosby Fans
- Call Bill Cosby a rapist.
- Say that Bill Cosby was never funny.
- Make Cosby rape jokes.
During the height of his rape scandal, Bill Cosby made the grave mistake of asking Twitter to meme him and upload the results under the hashtag #CosbyMeme – This immediately backfired and resulted in at least 100 rape-related memes featuring Cosby quickly flooding the hashtag.
House of Cosbys
House of Cosbys was an unfunny animated web cartoon and Family Guy ripoff that was created by Justin Roiland in 2005. The series revolved around a sad, lonely man who made a cloning machine and used it for the sole purpose of making over 9000 clones of Bill Cosby that he would then sedate and rape. The series lasted for a mere 4 episodes before Cosby's lawyers sent a C&D to the creator.
At one point Ebaumsworld, being the thieving Jews that they are, even watermarked these videos.[citation not needed – Ebaumsworld steals everything, you dumb twat]
"Victim" Impact Statements
Fat Albert was known for its rampant phallic symbolism.
The Feminazis resort to vandalism.
Fat Albert demonstrates the proper disposal procedure for unwanted niggers.
Bill Cosby, as he appeared on South Park.
An artist's rendering of Cosby's alleged sexual assault on Joan Tarshis.
Cosby and Uncle Ruckus have never been seen together in the same place.
- DINDU NUFFIN - What Bill Cosby did.
- Unrapeable - What Bill Cosby's accusers are.
- Rape - What Bill Cosby didn't do.
- Hillary's Wife - Another Bill who couldn't keep his dick in his pants.
- Michael Jackson - A black man and/or white woman who was falsely accused of molesting young boys.
- Unfunny - What Bill Cosby is.
- Emma Sulkowicz - Someone who, surprisingly, hasn't accused Bill Cosby of rape yet.
- BlackLivesMatter - A racist group that doesn't believe that Bill Cosby's life matters.
- The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air - Hipster Bill Cosby.
- Pokeyman - With the pokey and the man and the zip-zop-zoopity-bop.
- Hitler - Who Cosby is worse than.
- Josef Fritzl
- Roman Polanski
Accounts / Sites
- Chloe Goins' allegations are destroyed by video evidence
- Many of Cosby's accusers are revealed to be liars and criminals
- More proof that the accusers are liars
- "He Made Me Put Oatmeal On My Face And Act Like A Queen"
- Beverly Johnson and Janice Dickinson get owned
- Kristina Ruehli gets owned
- Chloe Goins gets owned
- Louisa Moritz gets owned
- Joan Tarshis gets owned
- Jewell Allison gets owned
- La'Chelle Covington gets owned by her own sister
Jewish Illuminati Conspiracy
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|Featured article May 2 & 3, 2017|
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