|CNN's in Your Blogosphere Raeping Your News|
When emo's, furries, fags, and gays have no where to turn to, when even Gaia and Livejournal simply can't give a shit, there is the blogosphere. This is the place where extensive tl;dr coverage of news, politics, and debates occur. However, because the only people who give a shit about the blogosphere are the people who run them, the blogosphere is a goldmine for the exploitation of lulz as the lolcows who frequent them are easily offended. Drama can and will run rampant as soon as their Radical New Ideas are exposed as bullshit and rape and butthurt ensue.
Blogosphere actually stands for the collective term for [[|blogs|weblogs]] that the old media came up with at least 100 years ago. However, Only the blogs looking for acceptance in the mainstream media (the "MSM") actually seem to use it. This means that no one cares, because the national media are too busy counting their phat loots and finding their next high to give a shit. What is absolutely hilarious is that even if CNN does glance a blinking eye they will steal, rape, and pillage everything in sight, send out an intern to investigate the actual events and copypasta most of the original dox to their website for great justice.
The basement dweller will then scream about the persecution of their small time publication. They will proceed to cream their panties in confusion. They will contact their lawyers and prepare an lolsuit forgetting that CNN has IRL Lawyers. Meanwhile Al Gore, emperor of the internet, and CNN will proceed to count all of their fresh Jew Gold. For continued lulz, CNN will then uncover the demons in the owner's closet subsequently raep any remaining dignity from their freshly deceased corpse before sending them off to meet Chris Hansen and later, Bubba.
This of course means that plenty of win can be found by trolls looking for a good time. Great fap material is had by all those who can post a clever retort. These people are always asking for it, and those who troll are always giving it to them. Since they can't make an argument logically anyway it is easy to correct all of their errors, (i.e. The Grammar Nazi approach) or simply produce a truthful argument that can't be disputed. And finally by declaring that I did it for the lulz the epic win can fully be accomplished.
PROTIP: Logic Does Not Faze Their Tiny Minds. Use the Lulz Instead.
Blogosphere, Serious Fucking Business.
Contrary to popular belief, The Blogosphere is Serious Fucking Business. Everyone has important opinions that need to be expressed, and the world needs to know. This need makes the owner a perfect lol-cow that requires milking for much lulz. Because they truly believe the dribble spewing out of their pie hole they will defend their beliefs until they are as incoherent and ridiculous as the people who are trolling them. It is not uncommon for them to then get angry and threaten those who would defile their manifesto. If they are saavy they will attempt to block the troll using the almighty banhammer. However, as many of them are n00bs, they forget that trolls have magical powers and thus are immune to all non-lethal attacks. When they finally decide to privatize their journal they BAAWWW about the lack of new viewers to their pages. Many of them then decide that they have been defeated and decide to delete fucking everything. Others decide to reopen their decrying the pages bullying and threatening to buy a dog and put up curtains.
—Hal Turner, Internet Tough Guy
It has also become customary to become an hero only after first proclaiming it on the blogosphere. This of course is designed to cause as much e-drama and butthurt as possible. The real truth is that the Emo just wants as much attention as possible before his inevitable IRL B&. Of course this can be turned against them by enterprising trolls with well-placed posts of do it fgt, become an hero and I told you i was hardcore. This allows the attention whore to know how the world really feels. Their complete unwarranted self importance thwarted they will produce much lulz by proceeding with their self IRL permaban (hopefully on live webcam). Then, suddenly a honey badger will appear and they will finally get in the noose. At this moment the peasants will rejoice. Hopefully they'll take someone with them and try to beat Blazin Azn's high score.
How It Works
- Bitch about your favorite subject
- Continue Bitching
- Gather a Cult Following
- Support Your Ideas With Sockpuppets
- Ask For Donations
When /b/-tards decide it's a good idea to write blogs it can be ensured that fail is sure to ensue. Over 9000 /b/-tard-s have attempted this feat, but none have evar been able to do it right. The problems come at the very beginning as most are Gaia fags and they forget to LURK MOAR before proclaiming /b/! They then take their leet skills and decide to make a post identifying themselves as a /b/-tard forgetting the principles of Anonymous and shitting all over Rules 1 & 2. WE'RE FROM E/b/AUMS FOR GOD'S SAKE!!!!!1oneoneone11.
They then will begin rallying troops, Reciting old meme's, and dividing by zero as epic amounts of fail are exponentially produced. Luckily however, the 4Chan party V& soon roots out the source of anti-lulz and removes the offending party giving them an express trip on a IRL Banhammer. When asked about the perp an agent of the V& will then proclaim I did it for the lulz and drive off cackling with mad laughter.
Denizens of The Blogosphere
- Gay's Rights Coverage
- Concerned Citizens
- An Heroes
- Serious Fucking Business
- Batshit Insanity
is part of a series on
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|Blogosphere is part of a series on Language & Communication|