Anonymous Borg

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Your technological and biological retardedness shall be added to our own. Resistance is futile.
Anonymous Borg Locutus of Lulz prepares to issue a fatwa.
More Anonymous Borg.

The Anonymous Borg are a relatively recent mutation of Anonymous. Like The Borg - the hivemind alien race bent on universal pwnage and raep in Star Trek - they suffer from huge amounts of unwarranted self-importance and a superiority complex.

These anons gone rogue have decided that they speak for all of Anonymouskind because THE INTERNET IS SERIOUS BUSINESS and they know what's best for anon. Meanwhile, it is well documented that basement dwelling, 13-year-old virgins with no IRL friends couldn't organize a piss-up in a brewery and should have their Internets confiscated by Al Gore until their balls drop and they stop playing in their tree fort LOL DOWN.

Mission[edit]

Their main mission (apart from /i/nsurgency in general) is to recruit like-minded spastics into a personal army to unite all Anonymous - from 4chan, to 7chan, to 420chan, to Jackie Chan - into an organized force with a "central command" and uniform "thinking". However, like a fascist dictatorship, the "brain trust" of Anonymous Borg has already decided everything and debate and dissent is not an option.

Delusions Of Grandeur[edit]

The Anonymous Borg like to tell site owners how they should run their sites as if they were the board of directors at a Fortune 500 company. Whilst they contribute little-to-nothing content-wise and nothing financially, they will not be denied.

In the following "morality play", the part of unwarranted self-importance is played by Locutus_of_Lulz and the Soup Faggot is played by moot.
<Locutus_of_Lulz> We are Locutus of Anonymous
<Locutus_of_Lulz> You will respond to our questions.
<Locutus_of_Lulz> Your use of a public IRC network is less efficient for Anonymous and to you.
<Locutus_of_Lulz> We have established a large and stable network, just for Anonymous
<Locutus_of_Lulz> Lulznet.
<Locutus_of_Lulz> irc.lulz.net
<Locutus_of_Lulz> aka irc.partyvan.org aka irc.lulzhost.net
<Locutus_of_Lulz> It is the combined servers of many chans.
<Locutus_of_Lulz> 7chan has joined, fapchan as well; 420chan will when they update their server software.
<Locutus_of_Lulz> the /i/nsurgents built it off our several servers.
<Locutus_of_Lulz> The Patriotic Nigras have added their servers.
<Locutus_of_Lulz> Great things are afoot.
<Locutus_of_Lulz> We will await your return
<Locutus_of_Lulz> But we know that moving #4chan onto the central node is most efficient for all parties.
<moots> not happening
<moots> irc is stupid
<moots> go away

Later, that same day:

<Locutus_of_Loli> We do not wish to hinder the progress of 4chan
<Locutus_of_Loli> But we must sadly attack until /b/ conforms to the will of Anonymous.
<Locutus_of_Loli> We shall double the dataforce.
<moots> uh okay
<moots> i am going to go make soup now

Tactics[edit]

  • Will DDoS their own species (like black person cannibals will eat the educated white man, or themselves) in order to endear themselves to the chan community at large.
  • When Anonymous Borg 'speak' (usually thru IRC), you'll notice the mouthpiece in question will use the royal "we" as in: "We needs to go potty, brb."

Analysis[edit]

Either Hitler, one of the first AnonBorg, or an AnonBorg wearing a Hitler-mask.

Soon to be grounded by their parents, these idiots are not much of a threat but extremely effective at creating huge amounts of drama and FAIL; and thus EPIC LULZ.

By violating many of their own (very gay) Rules of the Internet their whole "point" is rendered moot.

By trying to organize chaos, they show a limited understanding of how the Internets and IRL work. They also seem to speak English as a second language since they don't seem to understand what "random" means and/or (being the namefags they are) the nature of the "anonymity". Not that Anonymity works on IRC.

They also fail it at marine biology, since trying to localize piss in a sea of piss is impossible.

In short, they should all gb2 Gaia get the fuck off the Internets, gb2school and focus on becoming bureaucratic fucks when they grow up.

In the meantime, they should be made to watch Anon's favorite film - V for Vendetta - until they understand how to inspire and stir the collective consciousness into giving a shit.

The Argument for and against Anonymous Borg[edit]

FOR: If anon could be organised in a single place then they would be better placed to react to recent events and injustice

Against: LOL ORGANISED Anon! and if it needed anymore toxic webspace then you can start an other chan



Well there is a case for assimilation...

The Truth About Anonymous Borg[edit]

On sighting this, Cruise called the CoS to enter lockdown mode. The transmission was intercepted at stardate 9420.7.4-711.

In reality, the prior affairs were a front. Anonymous Borg are the alien spies who maintain the advanced alien neural interface between the German Secret Service, psychiatrists, Nazi-Commies and the fleets of the Marcab Confederacy. They are the advanced sentient computers that make up Anonymous' hivemind network. The plot was blown when Tom Cruise was checking the skies with his telescopes in fear of Xenu, and caught a glimpse of an Anonymous Borg Cube returning to the dark side of the Moon. Undeterred, the Anonymous Borg will continue to pursue the destruction of the Church of Scientology, the last resistance, and allowing Xenu to return to restore order to the galaxy.

The Collective has failed; with lazors charged and aimed at Tom Cruise, we prepared for the final blow, but many freshly assimilated Anonymous at this point split off and formed their own group dedicated to stopping CoS peacefully. The Anonymous Borg now seek to work with the Church of Scientology to destroy such arrogant rebellion against the Collective, and will be beaming aboard a CoS near you to have a talk about how we can best cooperate for our mutual good.

Notable Anonymous Borg[edit]

See Also[edit]

External Links[edit]

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