Boxxmom

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Sometimes, the truth hurts.

A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far, away some sweet jailbait decided to cake on the makeup and make some videos for her dumbass friends on Gaia. For years to come, basement dwellers and virgins the world over obsessed over the young girl we'd come to know as Catie Wayne while she remained in hiding from all the rape and murder that 4chan had to offer. Boxxy's mom was happy to help her daughter stay in hiding until the day she realized just how exploitable her daughter really was.

The Present

Enter 2010...

The world is a cold, cold, place as Boxxy graduates high school and fills her head with big dreams of New York City and Broadway. While her fat mother (Powerword: Lisa Wayne) was way too cheap to invest in own her daughter's future and too busy crying over being dumped by Boxxdad, the dollar signs grew in her eyes as she hatched a fail proof plan to bring in enough jewgolds for the Wayne family to live comfortably for years to come.

1. Force your daughter into the spotlight.
2. Try to sell her used stuff on eBay.
3. Once that doesn't work, make your daughter shit out a few new Youtube videos that are lackluster at best.
4. Work closely with your daughter in creating the shittiest website with the shittiest homepage evar, Catiewayne.com
5. Create your own YouTube channel, upload a few videos of Boxxy opening her birthday presents, and earn a YouTube partnership
6. Pretend to be BFFs with your daughters' most prominent fans on Twitter while spouting off all the outdated and overused memes you learned about on KYM.
7. Convince your daughter that its a good idea to participate in a shitty movie about memes and youtube celebrities that only exists as a 4 minute trailer on youtube with no studio backing and a non-existent budget.
8. Once enough cash has been acquired to live comfortably, disappear completely from the internet while still making your daughter post occasionally on Catiechan to keep her army of neckbeards satisfied.
9. ????
10. PROFIT!

Only time will tell where young Catie's journey will take her, but let it be known that whether Catie does make it as a bigtime Broadway star or hits rock bottom as the Sweet Eva of the twenty-first century, her Jew of a mother will be there to get her grubby hands on whatever monies she can.

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Fun Facts

Gallery

I'm the exploiter you see!? About missing Pics
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How To Properly Whore Your Daughter Out To The Internets

Remix Videos

See Also

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