Breaking Up

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Jump to: navigation, search
What? This article needs moar whiny bloggers.
You can help by adding moar whiny bloggers.

When a relationship isn't going well, some couples choose to end their relationship. Generally, one person will go to the other and tell them they are unhappy. They will then say that they are "breaking up" with them. It is very painful for both people when this happens, but typically, the one who is dumped is even worse off. But don't worry, you will never be broken up with, as you will never have a girlfriend. Enjoy your hand.

IRL Break-ups[edit]

Break ups can be a huge source of drama and lulz. 16 year old girls everywhere love writing in their LiveJournals about how heart-broken they are over their ordeal, that's, you know, never happened to anyone anywhere before. In this weakened state of course, these silly bitches are ideal troll-bait. Also, if you are fortunate enough to be the one initiating the break up, you can do it in a number of interesting ways! If you are really good, one could play the rebound game. We all know that will not happen.

LiveJournal And Other Blog Websites BAW[edit]

Woe be unto the heartbroken who have been so wrongfully shamed by someone realizing that their relationship wasn't fulfilling their needs and sought to find solace elsewhere. As was mentioned, everyone is a delicate and unique snowflake that has never had a shitty break up or been dumped much like those burritos you had last night. The LJ community Heartbreak Rehab is a fine example of this faggotry and stupidity.

Most of the posters are in fact, 16 year old girls. About 10% of the posters appear to be really feminine men or faggots that have not come out of the closet yet. You be the judge. Either way, it's an entertaining way to kill a couple hours and is also a great source for getting some lulz,if you can stand reading peoples' whining about how no one will ever love them and that one perfect person would be just perfect if they would perfectly love them!

OL Break-ups[edit]

Breaking up online does not always mean leaving a relationship between only two people, it often means leaving the community and / or wiki you have come to know and love, but have sadly discovered the feeling isn't mutual. OL break up often involve wikibreaks followed by wikicide followed by a mention on Mydeathspace.

Ways to Prevent the Break Up[edit]

Ways to Break Up[edit]

Cunt punt the bitch


Spartans don't need an excuse; they just smack the bitch!
  • I just think we should see other people.
  • I just need my space.
  • You just don't understand me.
  • I don't know who you are any more.
  • It's not you, it´s me
  • You've changed.
  • I've changed.
  • "If you really loved me, you would marry me."
  • I love the internet moar than you.
  • I'm gay.
  • You got fat.
  • "I don't wanna unmarry my wife yet"
  • I've been seeing someone else.
  • I deserve more / You don't deserve me.
  • I get jealous every time I see your ex fucking you.
  • You fucked my best friend when we are in an open relationship.
  • I love you as a friend.
  • I love you in the way I love Jesus
  • You have a TINY COCK
  • I have AIDS
  • 4Chan's /b/ cares about me more than you

Benefits of Breaking Up[edit]

What to do next time.

There are many benefits to breaking up. For one thing, you never have to hear the bitch whine and nag you. Not only that, there are many things you can do to her now that you know you can't fuck her. Try jacking it into a mayo jar, making her a sammich and watching her eat it. Bitch wouldn't swallow before, make her do it now! Also, you know that hot friend of hers? You can feel free to tap that now! Also, if you've got any pictures of your ex (especially nudes), post them all over 4chan, along with her cell number and home address. Sit back and laugh.

What to do if You're Broken Up With[edit]

You know who loves you.

When you are the one who is broken up with, you're the one who can really enjoy it! There are many ways to get back at your ex for breaking your heart.

Of course, the best solution is to kill yourself. After you have gotten your revenge, you will soon realize that the reason she broke up with you is because you a a worthless sack of shit, who will never be a suitable enough partner for anyone. But you're probably too much of a pussy to off yourself anyways.

What your girlfriend does after breaking up with you[edit]

  • Have sex as much as she can
  • Have a threesome
  • Masturbate to muscular men
  • Call exes for confidence boost
  • Get a job
  • Be the happiest person on earth
  • Have a girls night out and talk about which guy would make the best fuckmate
  • Tell her new boyfriend it was the best sex she ever had
  • Get haircut and new clothes
  • Attend to all parties possible
  • Tell all the girls you know how small your penis is
  • Have more fun than you ever had as a couple
  • Offering her new boyfriend a threesome with her hot friend
  • Have anal sex and enjoy it
  • Swallow
  • Switch to injection and give up condoms for more pleasurable sex
  • Become a better girlfriend

See Also[edit]

External Links[edit]

Portal trolls.png

Breaking Up is part of a series on


Visit the Trolls Portal for complete coverage.

Breaking Up is part of a series on Dying Alone

[DeadCry yourself to sleep]

Poemo.jpg Those Who Have Died Alone

Aaron SwartzAdam LanzaAlexis ArquetteAmanda ToddAmy WinehouseAnal CuntAndy KaufmanAngry GrandpaAnna Nicole SmithBill HicksBrandon CrispBrian AdamsCharmaine DragunChester BenningtonChloe SagalChris BenoitChristopher ClearyChris Harper-MercerChynaCodey PorterDavid BowieDavid CarradineDavid KatzDimebag DarrellEazy-EEdaremEdd GouldEdgar Allan PoeElliot RodgerElvis PresleyEmer PrevostEtikaGene RayGeorge CarlinGeorge SodiniGizgizHappyCabbieHarambeHeath LedgerJason BowenJeff WeiseJewWarioJim MorrisonJohn LennonKate SpadeKatelyn Nicole DavisKitty0706Kurt CobainLeelah AlcornLemonade CoyoteLil PeepLiloMegan MeierMichael JacksonMitchell HendersonMySpaceOtoya YamaguchiPekka-Eric AuvinenPrinceRandy StairRdtheproductionsRehtaeh ParsonsRicardo LopezRipperRobin WilliamsRudolph ZurickScout SchultzShawn WoolleyShayStan LeeStephen HawkingStephen HillenburgStephen PaddockSteve StephensTony48219TooDamnFilthyTupacTyler DumstorfVerne TroyerVester FlanaganVidmeWilliam AtchisonZippcast

Those Dying Alone

03bgood2cash2 gryphon7jackass77Adam SandlerAdam WanAhuviya HarelAIDS SkrillexAkewsticRockRAlex FordAlex HirschAtheistsAlex JonesAlison RappAmerica's Third PartyAmericanDad86Amy SchumerAngry Homo KidAngry JoeAniMatAnimatedJamesAnita SarkeesianAndrei ThomasAnonymous BorgAnthony 'A-Log' LoGattoAnthony ToneyAntony AguilarAnytownfagApril DavisAquagirlwhitefoxArgent009Arguecat3Ariana GrandeArin HansonArmake21AsalieriAsa CoonAsher2500Austin AlexanderAvantGardePonyBambifan101BarneyfagBasement DwellersBen FordBen MoynihanBenny_the_SnakeBenthelooneyBig RedBikerfoxBill9929Bill GaedeBill GatesBLACKbusterCriticBlood on the Dance FloorBlueCatRioluBob RehahnBrandontheMovieGuyBrandon SmithBrian MuellerBrianna WuBrokeNCYDEBroniesBrucesnoopButLovaByAppointmentToCarl the CuckCartoonjunkieCaseydeckerCheeyevChibiyimaChi-Chan24Chris-chanChris CrockerChuck M.Clint of Rise and FallCloudyEggsCNNCopperCabCorey MargeraCoughlan666CrazyvideosandrantsCrinklemonDaniel BrandtDan CilleyDane CookDani FilthDani_WillowDarius McCollumDarknessthecurseDarksydePhilDaron NefcyDave ChapelleDave MustaineDavid HockeyDaxflameDBoyWheelerDeekerDeterminedToDrawUTDev-catscratchDGTrixieDiaper BoyDisneyFan01DisneyMasterDJ KEEMSTARDLAbaoaquDnepropetrovsk maniacsDon RobertsDoodletonesDoomer3868Doopie DoOverDoopie DoOver/PeopleDorian_GayDoug WalkerDragoneerDrakondrp1zzaDustinEdray1416EmosEpic Fat GuyEpicKitty54Eric AbramovEric RidenourErik RibsskogErik "Tazman" MokracekExoParadigmGamerFilthy FrankFagolescentsFanFic CriticFast EddieFat ManFaust & Pory Five Nights at Freddy's fansFlardoxFluffy teh wolfForeverKailynFriends of A-LogFurriesG-ZayGather Against FateGeorge LopezGhostGirlvinylGoddessMilleniaGreg MazujianGwen GaleGwen StefaniHarmful OpinionsHellkiller777Hozupindahows00sI Dislike Cis PeopleI Hate EverythingIan Miles Cheongicze⁴rImma-The-DeerInkBunnyInSaNe-REYNARDJames HolmesJamil The KingJennifer BaquingJessi SlaughterJessica LeedsJim ProfitJinuSenpaiJoe Crusher PicklesJoekerJoeysworldtourJohn BullaJohn FieldJohn KricfalusiJohn Patrick RogersJonathan McIntoshJonTronJoseph CampJoseph8276JoshU2uberJoshua "Null" MoonJuggalosJustinandDennisJustinRPGKaBlamBandicoot64Karamatsugirllover92Kat DenningsKathleen ToddKendall JennerKenny GlennKero The WolfKevin HavensKimmo Johan AlmKingEmpoleonKingMasterReviewKittenBellNSFWKothorixKphoriaKrashedKurt EichenbaldLarry the Cable GuyLauren FaustLeafyIsHereLecarickLeigh AlexanderLeisureSuitGamingLena DunhamLeonard F. Shaner Jr.Les SixLeslie JonesLifeInATentLikeicareLinkaraLittleCloudLittleKuribohLordelthibarLowti3rgodLucian HodobocM. ChaosMajira StrawberryA Man in BlackManchildrenMarblesMariotehplumberMarjan SiklicMatrooko11Matthew DavisMatthew NicholsonMaxtaroMcJuggerNuggetsMDetector5‎MeganSpeaksMeowbarkMeta527IIMichael BattonMichael BayMichael FitzhywelMichael GimsonMike SandymindoutofsyncMiss ScarlettMoleman9000Monica PunkMonkeyGameGuidesMoviebobMSNBCMumkey JonesMuZemikeMylarBalloonFanMysteriousMrEnterMysticArkNaokoElric2250Nascar221Natalie PortmanNathan GaleNawlinWikiNeckbeardsNeoGAFNick BateNick BravoNihilistic SnakeNikkineko333Noah AntwilerNostalgia ChickNotchNullcherriOFWGKTAOnyx ForepawPaigeGirlParkourdude91Paul FeigPaulie CalafiorePeter CoffinPhantomStrider8Phil FishPhunWithLogicPinkieponyPit ViperPixyteriPMRantsPreachingthegospelProfessor KuhtoonsQuentin TarantinoRachael MacFarlaneRandi HarperRebecca SugarRebelTaxiRicki RavenRina-ChanRMG ProductionsRobert Wayne StilesRockosockoRomeo RoseRootbrianRose3212Ross LumbusSad FrogSam HydeSam PepperSammyClassicSonicFanSarah ButtsSarah SilvermanSarahisniftySaturnDOSSceptreSchnookumsSega KidSegacampSeth MacFarlaneSethistoShadmanSimply OkamiSlowbeef & DiabetusSnapesnoggerSolidMarioSonmanicSonofOdin29Sons of KojimaSony-MaeSONYFANBOYSophie LabelleSoulja BoySpax3SpiderfanStephen SampleSteven PruittStormySuperlisamcbSuperMarioLoganSuper Planet DolanSusan BoyleSusan J. ElliottTara StrongTempleOSThatKidDouglasTheAmazingAtheistTheDOSFagThe rEactorTheSockDetectiveTimboxTim BuckleyTJ LaneTMossBossToby J RathjenTodd in the ShadowsTom PrestonToonEGuyTourneyfagsTranime GirlTrey Eric SeslerTrigglypuffTyciolTyler GarmanyUlillilliaThe Unknown AutobotUrinatingTreeUwe BollVadeVinceintheBayVideo game reviewersViolette1stWade FulpWeatherManKevinWeegeeisgoingtokillmWesley!!!WingsofRedemptionWinona RyderWoWfan4lifeWwwareaYoshiwii1YandereDevYouyoungbloodfantasy91Zoe QuinnZone

Their Methods

9gagAdventure TimeAn HeroAIDSAnimuAlt-rightArt SchoolA-Log's Fanfictionask.fmAsperger's SyndromeAssigned MaleAtheismBath SaltsThe Big Bang TheoryBattle For Dream IslandBlackLivesMatterBlack metalBody PillowsBitViewBoozeBullyingBuzzFeedChildren's CartoonsClown WorldComputer Science IIICosplayCumOnPrintedPics.ComCupheadDead FriendDeath metalDeath penaltyDating SimsDeviantARTDiscordDrugsEdginessFamily GuyFanFictionFeminismFedoraFidget spinner The Filthy Frank ShowFive Nights at Freddy'sFleshlightFriend ZoneFurAffinity Furry ArtGarry's ModGoAnimate!GooglewhackingGorillazGothsGravity FallsGreen DayGreeny PhatomGrindcoreHackingHappy Madison ProductionsHomestuck‎Hover hand‎HufflepuffHigh ScoreIndie musicInfantilismInsane Clown PosseInvisible GirlfriendIRCJenkemKiwi FarmsKotakuLeague of LegendsLegoLibertarianismLiveJournalLonelyLoveShyMai WaifuMen's rights activismMinecraftMLP ForumsMMORPGsMGTOWMUDsMy Little PonyMy Tiny DickNarutoNice GuyismNu metalOculus RiftOh ShiternetOnline datingOnline sex gamesOverwatchPAW PatrolPlastic CrapPlenty of FishPunk rock/r9k/Rick and MortyRobloxRule 34RuneScapeSecond LifeSelf-VictimizationShy Boys IRLSilk Screen Goku ShirtSkaSlayerSlipknotSluthateSmogon UniversitySocial JusticeSource FilmmakerSouth ParkSparkalloonSpeakoniaStar vs. the Forces of EvilSteven UniverseTaking the Internet Too SeriouslyTeam Fortress 2That Guy With The GlassesThe Anytown ShowThe EntersphereThe SimsThey Might Be GiantsTomb RaiderToolTransformersTulpasTumblrTV TropesUnchartedUncle GrandpaUncyclopediaUndertaleUnikittyVidLiiVirginityVirtual YoutubersVloggerheadsWatchMojo.comWeezerWikimaniaWizardchanWorld of WarcraftYouTube