Brenda Ann Spencer

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This page is about an attempted an hero.
What an edgy dyke looks like.

Brenda Ann Spencer (a.k.a. The Garfield Killer) was an edgy 16-year-old lesbian ginger whose retarded alcoholic daddy made the brilliant decision to buy her a rifle for Christmas despite the fact that he had been molesting her for years. On Monday, January 29, 1979, finally fed up with years of abuse and high as fuck on a combination of PCP and alcohol, Brenda decided to take out her brand-spanking-new Ruger and end her miserable life in style. Being too much of a fucking pussy to just blow a hole in her daddy's head and feeling that it would be too heterosexual to stick the barrel of a gun in her mouth, Brenda instead decided that she would get the police to do the job for her.

Seeing as she lived directly across from Grover Cleveland Elementary School in San Diego, Brenda decided that the fastest way to get the cops to come and blow her brains out would be to snipe some squeakers from the comfort of her bedroom. Unfortunately, despite managing to kill both the school principal and custodian, Brenda had neglected to factor in the fact that the police in Commiefornia would be too fucking soft to shoot a 16-year-old white bitch even if she was shooting directly at children and cops. After being arrested and asked why she did it, Brenda responded with the unforgettable phrase "I don't like Mondays."

Despite utterly failing to kill herself and still being alive to this very day, Brenda Ann Spencer did help make America's National Pastime popular again following a nearly 15 year hiatus since Charles Whitman's Tumor and 50 years since Andrew Kehoe invented the sport by blowing up a fucking elementary school. Brenda is also notable for being the first woman to participate in school shooting under Title IX.

While Brenda's high score of a mere 2 kills and 9 injuries is laughably horrible, she still managed to beat out Encyclopædia Dramatica's very own William "AlGore" Atchison in pretty much every category except becoming an heroine. How's it feel getting your dead freckled arse kicked by a fucking 16-year-old girl, Willie?

Last Monday[edit]

lol ima snipe u nao fgt

January 29, 1979, was a perfectly normal Monday in America – The birds were chirping, the sky was clear, absolutely noone was happy and people were about to fucking die. 16-year-old bulldyke Brenda Ann Spencer had spent the previous night drinking and taking PCP to dull the emotional pain that came with being constantly raped by her father, Wallace Spencer, and that morning she finally decided to take the first step towards turning her life around through the miracle of suicide.

Brenda wanted to die like a lesbian.
Truck cuck surrenders without fulfilling her mission of killing herself.

Brenda grabbed the Ruger that her sick fuck paedophile rapist father had given her for Christmas and decided to end it all when she came to a startling conclusion – putting a gun in your mouth looks like putting a dick in your mouth. Knowing that she didn't want to die like a straight woman, Brenda quickly remembered that her house was across the street from an elementary school and the police probably wouldn't be kind to anyone who shot at innocent children.

Brenda began sniping at the children from her bedroom window, but as a woman she found herself completely unable to actually kill any of them. Like a couple of complete retards, school principal Burton Wragg and custodian Mike Suchar soon attempted to help the tots who had been shot which gave Spencer the opportunity to actually shoot at targets that were big enough for even a woman to hit.

After killing the two dumbfucks, Brenda soon found herself being totally cucked when the police decided to move a garbage truck between her and the school to prevent her from shooting anyone else. After 7 hours of negotiations, Spencer finally decided that the prospect of spending the rest of her life being raped by a bunch of women in prison was more up her alley than committing suicide.


   
 
I don't like Mondays.
 

 
 

—Brenda Ann Spencer, on why she did it

The Song[edit]

Being a dumb woman, she actually got a song dedicated to her killings, by famous scam artist Bob Geldorf.



Daddy's Issues[edit]

School Shooter's Remorse[edit]

   
 
When her girlfriend left, she burned the words courage and pride in her own arm like a tattoo. She's still subject to depression.
 

 
 

—San Diego Deputy District Attorney Richard Sachs Archive today-ico.png (archive)


   
 
I know saying sorry doesn't make it all right. With every school shooting, I feel I'm partially responsible. What if they got the idea from what I did?
 

 
 

—Brenda Ann Spencer Archive today-ico.png (archive)


   
 
I live with the unbearable pain every day of knowing that I was responsible for the death of two people and caused many others physical and emotional pain and suffering. But I'm not a murderer.
 

 
 

—Brenda Ann Spencer Archive today-ico.png (archive)

High Score[edit]

Graded score
Kill count: 2/20 What do you expect from a woman?
Accuracy: 4/20 Good at sniping but bad at actually killing anything.
Style: 20/20 Camping done right.
Butthurt: 20/20 First major school shooting since Charles Whitman.
Bonus: 20/20 Fuckin' Mondays.
Total score: 66/100 (D)
Thanks, Title IX
See full ranking


Wanted Level:
___________________

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___________________

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Garbage Men


Quotes[edit]

   
 
I had no reason for it, and it was just a lot of fun.
 

 
 

—Based Brenda Archive today-ico.png (archive)


   
 
It was just like shooting ducks in a pond. The children looked like a herd of cows standing around.
 

 
 

—Brenda Archive today-ico.png (archive)


   
 
It was really easy pickings.
 

 
 

—Little Miss Mullet Archive today-ico.png (archive)


   
 
It was a lot of fun seeing children shot.
 

 
 

—Brenda Ann Spencer Archive today-ico.png (archive)

Gallery[edit]

I don't like Mondays. About missing Pics
[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]

See Also[edit]

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Homosexual Deviants

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Aaron AlexisAdam LanzaAli David SonbolyAnders Behring BreivikAriana Grande MassacreAurora Theatre ShootingBaruch GoldsteinBreda Highschool MassacreBreitscheidplatzBruce Jeffrey PardoCapital Gazette ShootingCampo Elías DelgadoCharles BishopCharles Whitman's TumorCho Seung-HuiChris Harper-MercerDavid KatzDavid LongDan "The Twinkie Man" WhiteDeath to Traitors, Freedom for BritainDevin Patrick KelleyDmitry VinogradovDylann Storm RoofElliot RodgerFort HoodGabe ParkerGeorge SodiniJack Gilbert GrahamJames Alex FieldsJared Lee LoughnerJason DaltonJason RodriguezJaylen FrybergJeff WeiseJeffrey DahmerJesse OsborneJiverly VoongJoe StackJohn Russel HouserJosef FritzlKimveer GillKip KinkelLuby's massacreMarc LepineMark BartonMark EssexMartin BryantMatthew de GroodMichael CarnealMichael RyanMikese MorseMizhi County No. 3 Middle School AttackMr. SaariMutsuo ToiNasim AghdamNghtmrchld26Nice Truck Attack 2016Nickolas CruzOmar MateenOsama bin LadenPekka-Eric AuvinenPennsylvania School StabbingRandy StairRaoul MoatReina Nightclub MassacreRobert BalesRobert Gregory BowersRobert HawkinsRobert SteinhäuserSam HydeStephen PaddockTed BundyThomas Watt HamiltonTim KretschmerTJ LaneUnabomberVirginia Tech MassacreVladislav RoslyakovWade Michael PageZac Penton

Co-Op Mode

Boston Marathon BombingColumbineDallas Sniper AttacksJews did WTCPearl HarborSan Bernardino shootingSandniggers in ParisTimothy McVeigh

Civilization

Adolf HitlerAugusto PinochetHolocaustJoseph StalinKim Il-sungMao ZedongPol PotSaddam HusseinWorld War II

Banned From Scoring

Billy MitchellTodd Rogers

 
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[It rubs the lotion on the skin or else it gets the hose againInflict suffering]
3g1h-phone3.jpg Spree/One-time Killers:

Aaron AlexisAbdul Razak Ali ArtanAdam LanzaAlex HribalAli David SonbolyAlyssa BustamanteAnders Behring BreivikBaruch GoldsteinBruce Jeffrey PardoCasey AnthonyCho Seung-HuiChris Harper-Mercer Daniel PetricDmitry VinogradovDylann Storm RoofElliot RodgerAmanda KnoxGeorge SodiniGerry McCannIrvin Eugene Helton JrJared Lee LoughnerJason RodriguezJeff WeiseJiverly VoongJoe StackJosef FritzlKimveer GillKip KinkelLindsay Kantha SouvannarathLogan ClarkMalik Nadal HasanMarc LepineMark EssexMartin BryantMatthew MurrayMatthew de GroodMatti SaariMaurice ClemmonsMichael CarnealMichael RyanMichael WoodmanseeMutsuo ToiPekka-Eric AuvinenRaoul MoatRobert BalesRobert HawkinsRobert SteinhäuserSebastian BosseSteve StephensTJ LaneTim KretschmerTyler PetersonTheodore "The Unabomber" KaczynskiVester Lee "Bryce Williams" Flanagan IIWade Michael PageZac Penton

Career/Serial Killers:

Charles MansonChris BenoitHitlerMao ZedongJack the RipperJames HolmesRichard "The Iceman" KuklinskiTed BundyJeffrey Dahmer

Terrorists:

Al-QaedaDzhokar TsarnaevOmar MateenSanta ClausTamerlan TsarnaevOsama Bin LadenEric Harris and Dylan KleboldSam Hyde

See also:

Antisocial personality disorderCannibal HolocaustParanoid personality disorderSick fuckMurderJewsPolice Brutality

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Admirers

William AtchisonTheAmazingAtheistBrooke Higgins and Sienna JohnsonCho Seung-HuiIchverbotAlex HribalJaylen FrybergKimveer GillRandy Robert StairRyan SchallenbergerRobert Butler Jr.Pekka-Eric AuvinenAdam LanzaJeff WeiseDillon CosseyAsa CoonNghtmrchld26Lindsay Kantha SouvannarathSebastian BosseTim KretschmerLynn AnnVladislav RoslyakovYou

Locations:

ColoradoUnited StatesSchoolSuburbs

Related:

DoomPolice BrutalityPostalSchool ShootingMass ShootingVideo gamesTrenchcoatMarilyn MansonKMFDMRammsteinGothConcerned MotherNewgroundsRyan LambournSchool Shooter: North American Tour 2012The MatrixSouth ParkMichael MooreQuentin Tarantino1990sJack ThompsonGun control

[Stop shooting!Pull the trigger]
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Locus in quo: Colorado Theatre Shooting 🔫 Sandy Hook Elementary Massacre 🔫 Boston Marathon Bombing 🔫 Elliot Rodger 🔫 David Long 🔫 Umpqua Community College Shooting 🔫 Sandniggers in Paris 🔫 San Bernardino shooting 🔫 Pulse Nightclub Massacre 🔫 Ariana Grande Massacre 🔫 London Bridge Attack 2017 🔫 Randy Stair 🔫 Las Vegas shooting 🔫 Manhattan bombing/shooting 🔫 Texas church shooting 🔫 Marjory Stoneman Douglas School Shooting 🔫 Youtube shooting 🔫 Santa Fe High School Shooting 🔫 Capital Gazette Shooting 🔫 Jacksonville Shooting 🔫 Synagogue Of Doom
Supporters

Barack Obama 🔫 Christians 🔫 Concerned Mothers 🔫 Democrats 🔫 Dianne Feinstein 🔫 Government 🔫 The Kennedys 🔫 Kurt Eichenwald 🔫 Faggots 🔫 Liberals 🔫 Michael Bloomberg 🔫 Jews 🔫 SJWs 🔫 Sensitive people 🔫 Trayvon Martin

Main ideas:

Gun 🔫 Assault rifle 🔫 Gun Control 🔫 Murder 🔫 Mass Shooting 🔫 School Shooting 🔫

Haters gonna hate:

Daisy Hogg 🔫 Killers 🔫 Republicans

Acts of revenge:

Boston Marathon Bombing 🔫 Sandniggers in Paris 🔫 Ariana Grande Massacre 🔫 London Bridge Attack 2017 🔫 Capital Gazette Shooting

Objectors:

Charlton Heston 🔫 James Holmes 🔫 NRA 🔫 Osama bin Laden 🔫 Republicans 🔫 People planning a massacre

Pre-2012 Gun Massacres

Oklahoma Massacre 🔫 Columbine 🔫 9/11 🔫 École Polytechnique 🔫 Dawson College 🔫 Virginia Tech Massacre 🔫 Austin, Texas 🔫 NIU Valentine's Day Massacre 🔫 Hungerford Massacre

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Forms of Rape

Almost Rape 💔 Asking for it 💔 Ass Rape 💔 Baby Rape 💔 Cæk Ræp 💔 Cyber Rape 💔 Date Rape 💔 Ear Rape 💔 Fart Rape 💔 Gay Rape 💔 Prison Rape

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[No means no!Moar ræp plox!]

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Featured article March 3 & March 4, 2018
Preceded by
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Brenda Ann Spencer Succeeded by
Dianne Feinstein