Britain's Got No Fucking Talent

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Simon Cowell spots a young star

Britain's Got Talent, also know as Britain's Got Educationally Subnormal People, is a UK reality series consisting of 3 judges: Simon Cowell, Piers Morgan and Amanda Holden. The winner of the 2007 edition was Paul Potts, a fat opera singer who won because he had damaged teeth and worked in Carphone Warehouse.

Paul Potts[edit]

Incorrectly Captioned Image

Paul Potts (not to be confused with Pol Pot), is a fugly wanker who sang opera and confused the fuck out of Simon the asshole, before pwning Sanjaya to win British American Idol. No one gave a fuck until it ended up on the internets, and your retarded friends decided to e-mail the video to you. After watching the video, millions of people cried their eyes out over the insane amount of "talent" he has.

According to an inferior wiki, he is not to be confused with Pol Pot, an AZN who killed 2 million people, just like Cho Seung-Hui.

Trolling Paul Potts fans is lulzy, mainly because doing so will almost certainly result in "OMG, HE'S SO GOOD I HEARD HIS VOICE AND I CRIED BAWWWWWWWW!!!" . Some will even go as far as to say "HE'S GREAT HE NEVER HAD ANY TRAINING!" even though, unknown to the fans, he had several years of training before his Britain's Got Talent audition.

Really, he's the greatest singer to ever exist.

What everyone thought[edit]

There was a goofy guy with a silly grin on stage. Just like you, we all thought he was retarded, and possibly was MONGO. Just as we expected him to sing "She Bangs", put his helmet back on and go back into his wheelchair, he started singing opera. Then everyone started clapping, out of sheer confusion and inability to do anything else.

Afterward, he pwned Sanjaya and then William Hung and became King of British American Idol, and he got to perform in front of the Queen. Only then some dude found out that he had sung opera before, because American Idol is serious fucking business. Instead of being butthurt, Potts pwned them by saying that, just like Cracky-chan, he had never done it for money.

Susan Boyle[edit]

Nuvola
Moar info: Susan Boyle.

Susan Boyle is a batshit insane, rather handsome Scotsman who shocked the world and became an online sensation overnight after her vocal rendition of "I Dreamed a Dream" during the Spring 2009 Season of "Britain's Got Talent". Though quirky and visually displeasing, she was even able to wow the likes of Simon Cowell, which many have come to know as impossible.

Comedy negress[edit]

After Eights[edit]

"Eugene the librarian"[edit]

There. Are. No. Words.

Garlic Bread[edit]

The Dance King[edit]

The mystery impressionist[edit]

George Spamson[edit]

George Spamson is dancer from manchester who won the 2008 edition because of his ghetto background and the fact he had a spine disorder. He is known for whining onstage constantly, and for his retarded fans.

Ways to troll a George Spamson fan:

  • Say he's constantly whining about his issues and upbringing, trying desperately to get a sympathy vote.
  • Say that in reality, he's not as consistent or as good a dancer as half the people on there, following the previous statement.
  • If they reply to you with some fucktarded statement along the lines of "ERR OMG HE HAS A SPIINAAAL DISODA LEEV HIM ALON!!!1" tell them he doesn't know them or give a shit about them, and that therefore defending him is pointless.
  • Tell them he's good at flailing his arms about and tumbling around on the floor like the retarded cripple he is, but if he tried something that actually required some form of technique, such as ballet, ballroom or the tango, he'd be about as good as that other psycho who auditioned and simply waved his arms in the air from side to fucking side.
  • Say he's overrated.
  • Point out the fact that his sister is a known whore! Srsly! evidence.

Ways to Troll a BGT act's Fan[edit]

  • Go to the comment section of a YouTube video of them and bash him/her/it (??).
  • Say that they need more training.
  • Give ANY kind of constructive criticism.
  • PROFIT!!!!1

Gallery of Immense Talent[edit]

[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]

External links[edit]

See Also[edit]

Britain's Got No Fucking Talent
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