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Britchan

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This article is paid for by decent, honest, hard-working, salt o' the earth British taxpayers like you.

Thanks a lot, Broken Britain.


Britchan
Britchantrain.png
FoundationFebruary, 2008
Major Boards/b/,
Epic WinsRickrolling freezemobbers, Goatseing the Guardian, Operation JewTube
WebsiteBritchan

Britchan was an imageboard for British people who dislike mixing with foreigners. With a userbase composed entirely of chavs and pretend gentlemen, it eventually crashed and burned in a shitstorm of administrative incompetence and immigrant invasion. In short, it was a perfect reflection of British society.


Contents

Moralfag Infestation

 
 

You people are utter lame. What was done to you to make you this sad and cruel that you would attempt to cause pain to another person in the ways you suggest? Life is about love, and you peeps, you are haters, cowardly haters!

And it is for this reason that I have now committed myself to the total destruction of britchan. You thought the fetch spam was bad. Ha! That was nothing, I will now spam and d0s you out of total existence for your lameness!

Paybacks a bitch. Best get ya 1337 hAxors on d case lamz0rz cuz u going down!
 


 

— Thin-blood moralfag on Britchan, turned lame and ineffectual troll.

Britchan's moralfag troll fails at lulzkilling yet again, this time pretending to be a disapproving oldfag.

Unlike better chans, Britchan has been infested with misguided moralfags from it's inception as a discussion space for British anti-$cilon protests.


This thin-blood has lead to some unlikely lulz, no less a single bloodminded troll who unsuccessfully attempts to flood boards with abuse, despite the posting delay between new threads, and also the fact that nobody cares.


The sheer commitment to failing is highly amusing, with puny, single posts of abuse appearing ineffectively at the top of the /i/ board periodically, only to be consumed immediately by more lulz.



Lulz at Britchan

Operation Jewtube

Operation jewtube00111.jpg
"I stayed up for over 36 HOURS trying to think of ways to stop it in case it was real" And not for one minute did it occur to you that the idea of kids committing suicide at an anti-suicide rally was obviously satire?

In May 2008, the hideous prospect of over 9000 emo cutters marching across London in protest against the depiction of the band My Chemical Romance in the media made Anonymous choke in the privacy of his own damn penthouse. Action was needed to tap into this almost endless flow of potential lulz, see main article for moar.

Goatse in The Guardian

Those moralfags at enturb have some nerve, eh?
  • Goatse in The Guardian

On May 20th, 2008, the bleeding-heart liberal Guardian newspaper ran an article about some faggotry that occurred at the May Scientology raid. Foolishly, the Guardian's on-line version of the document linked directly to an image hosted on Britchan. Lulz ensued.


Operation Anti-Freeze

  • Operation: AntiFreeze, London: A welcome interruption to the 2008 snoozefest that was yet another spontaneous flash mob.


On Wednesday 30th April 2008, at exactly 18:24 GMT, a couple of hundred strangers decided to stand still in London's Liverpool Street Station, despite the fact that the event had been widely advertised and cleared with the authorities, thus reducing any potential subversive impact to that of casual curiosity.


Luckily for everyone else, Anonymous showed up, loudly invoked Astley's Law, and danced a merry conga through the frozen flashers.


Tasteful flyers of Rick Astely being crucified for all our sins were forced into the still hands of the rainy-day subversives, who got quite butthurt about the whole thing.


All in all, I'm making a note here: HUEG SUCCESS.

Rick roll in 2d
Rickroll1.gif



Kerrang Radio Raid

Britchan were looking for a good and easy radio to troll. Kerrang radio came to mind, and thus the call ins began. Some epic wins were had, although not many, but still some. Britchan piled onto Kerrang after a bunch of moralfags from #london #brumanon went to the Kerrang radio office, failed to get on the show as it was pre-recorded (namely because Chris Wrapson is a spineless twat). Brit Channers then tried and failed to convince the listeners that Scientology was an evil cult. Many believe that Gary made the best call, which will help demonstrate just how fail their ring-in raid was:

Pete Price Radio Raid

Britchan again decide to phone into a radio show this time it was Pete Price the homosexual who has his own phone in show called “Unzipped“, Gary again manages to Bel-Air live on air.

Fuckin owned.

One Britchan anon reported Pete Price to Ofcom for going "batshit at an Irish troll", a short time before the raids began. His radio station suspended him without pay for a week over the incident, according to a letter the anon got from Ofcom.

Lake's Closed (Due To Nigras In Pedal Boats)

Yes, they managed an IRL version of this without getting v&.

Some Londonfags tried to perform a swastiget on a lake in Hyde Park last Sunday. This six minute YouTube video (copyright claim lol wut) explains it better than any ED article ever could, sadly. Going on the evidence presented, it was an epic win for all of those involved. However, since not everyone who uses Britchan lives in the south of England, it's not so easy for those who live in cities where there is no visible 'Anonymous' activity, and it means getting to something like this is near-impossible, although this gives the added protection of not being facefagged and retaining the ability to laugh at the 'performance artists' if it turns out to be an epic fail.

Other Lulz


Gallery

The Death of Britchan.org

YubYub's technical skills were renowned

tldr YubYub disabled the Great Wall of Britchan and on 5th of February 2009 the Russians dealt the deathblow

 
 

English Chan britchan.org lifted the ban on entry for non-English IPs. Russian Anonymous couldn't miss such moment, and all the evening and all the night [we spammed the shit out of them]. At the moment at britchan.org is redirection to a page hosting with the inscription "This Account Has Been Suspended. Please contact the billing / support department as soon as possible". Administrator of britchan for the recognition of themselves as British was absolutely useless creature. Evening orphaned British bitards moved to Krautchan, crying in waistcoats on "Mongol invasion" and administrative powerlessness.
 


 

— The slavic hordes from Russian Lurkmore celebrate the rape of Britchan

 
 

Approximately at this time anonymous from Mentach raid Britchan, whose administrator has unreasonably removed anal IP-enclosing. In the beginning, they post kind threads with Stalin and Putin, then more malicious(the British queen with sperm on her face). Anglo-Saxons unperturbably laughed in the beginning, keeping calmness, and these Russian such amusing »communicated with each other in a key«. Then, when/b/and other sections of a steel of 100 % Russian, have begun on the sly bugurt. And here already the administrator brings banhammer on purpose to bring down a fair penalty on a head of russians. But was late. By this moment unknown Mentach hero has had time to captivate almost all boards of Britchan with the central processors and send over 9k EMails into abuse-team. Next day Britchan has been closed. Epic Win.
 


 

—Another quote from Russian Lurkmore

YubYub's final message

Once YubYub woke up and realised what had happened, he came over to britfa.gs/iq for a final goodbye.

 
 
Hello everyone, YubYub here again.

As expected my last thread was full of faggotry and quickly mimicked leaving people confused as to what the original message was. I am here to clear all that up and to shed some light on the future of Britchan.

As you have all probably guessed Russians Ddos’d Britchan and the bandwidth for the month has been used. It will take until March for Britchan to go up once again but even that is uncertain. I have spoken to R4GE about ownership and he has refused to take back the chan and as I have stated I no longer have time for this chan, that is now even more the case as my girlfriend is now pregnant (no falcon punch, we are both extremely happy about it). Myself and R4GE are both reluctant to hand over the chan to some one we don’t know IRL so we have both agreed that Britchan will never be back.

There were good times on Britchan that shall never be forgotten, but like all good things they must come to an end. It seems like you have settled in here and I hope that the future of this chan blossoms even further.

Yours sincerely

YubYub
 


 

See also

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