Bulletball, or Pong, is a gender and age neutral sport for the 21st century invented by homeless black man Marc Griffin. After 26 years of gameplay balancing, fine tuning and countless betas, Bulletball and Bulletball Extreme (also known as Professional Bulletball Extreme) is ready to take American living rooms by storm.
Unfortunately, somewhere along the way, Marc forgot to make his game fun and ended up selling his house, quitting his job, traded his Saab in for a crappy station wagon, and hocking his wife's wedding ring to finance his "invention." Rather than give up in the face of common sense and try to re-establish a life, he's opted to sell his game to cripples and old folk. For the aspiring athlete, there's even a set of Bulletball and Bulletball Extreme branded sportswear and apparel available for order. Because in 100 years, when Marc Griffin is looking down from heaven, he'll be smiling knowing that someone out there is taking this shit at least half-seriously.
Marc Griffin, average American everyman and inventor, seeking to introduce the world to the hardcore competition found in nursing homes decided to bring Bulletball and Bulletball Extreme in front of the panel judges of American Inventor.
Unfortunately for Marc, when his wife said "We're gonna need rules," she wasn't talking about the game. But the ever-ambitious inventor, refusing to listen to common sense, decided that all his possessions and financial stability were getting in the way. So he sold everything except his OWN wedding ring and traded away his Saab for a 92 Volvo Wagon.
Be sure to bring a bottle full of Vitamin Water to refresh those tired, aching muscles of yours.
Because playing Bulletball and Bulletball Extreme on anything EXCEPT Officially Licensed and Endorsed Bulletball and Bulletball Extreme Safety-Enhanced Handicapped Accessible Bulletball Tables is considered a gaffe in the professional circuit, you should consider investing in a fine construct such as the Bulletball Tabletop model, which folds up over your existing setup. The asking price for this incredible piece of machinery is a meager $79.99. But that shit is for amateurs, you see. If you wanna play with the big leagues, you're going to need to buy a real table:
The Bulletball Extreme table? $525.99
Might as well buy a PStriple.
The Sales Pitch
- Bulletball Games Official Website
- Bulletball Infomercial
- Another Bulletball Infomercial
- A parody infomercial
- Bulletball featured in the news
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|Featured article October 22, 2008|
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JESUS CHRIST IT'S A LION GET IN THE CAR!
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