Burned Fur

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Fucking Niggers!

This (now defunct) furry backlash group was originally started by pretentious furry artists Eric Blumrich and Charla Trotman, aka "Squee Rat" (when she was in the furry fandom) aka "Spike" aka "Darth Versace" (on the SA Forums).

She wrote a Burned Fur Manifesto talking about how horrible furries are; this is what is technically known as a fact.

The aim of the Burned Furs were to:

  1. Educate the public about how horrible furries are.
  2. Shame the furries into changing their ways.
  3. Point out how the Burned Furs were not at all like those nasty dogfucking regular furries.

Their cause was not helped in the slightest by allowing imbecilic cocksuckers like RHJunior and Calbeck to join their ranks. It is possible that the Burned Furs caused more angsty messageboard posts than anything else in the furry fandom ever as all the yiffy furverts rose up as one in outrage and heaped condemnation on them.

What the hell[edit]

The whole thing backfired, since furries have no shame. It was like taking out advertisements in the local paper and putting up signs on your restaurant saying "We DO NOT jerk off into our clam chowder."

Furries are fucking liars.

The peerless Lore Sjöberg of Brunching Shuttlecocks and The Geek Hierarchy fame said it best:

  • Enter the "Burned Furs", a splinter Furry group made up of people who have an obsession with fuzzy tiger head people but who are tired of being thought of as abnormal. Their stance is that it's perfectly okay to spend eight weeks and five hundred dollars on a homemade badger suit so that you can wear it in public, but if you have sex in it you're just weird. It's like a Trek fan saying "Well, sure, I'm fluent in Klingon, but that guy used it for his wedding ceremony! Let's all mock him!" The very fact that the Burned Furs had to organize makes one doubt their proposition that Furryfolk aren't primarily in it for the eros. Nobody has had to form a group to convince people that concert pianists aren't sexual deviants. If I came across an organization arguing that people who sell produce at Farmer's Markets aren't all actually fucking their vegetables, I'd certainly start examining my cauliflower more closely before cooking it.

Analysis[edit]

The Burned Furs movement was a total failure with a delectable sweet sweet core filled with lulz and schadenfreude.

Squee Rat managed to disengage from furry fandom, even to the extent of having her Squee Rat entry on Wikifur blanked (Though a quick peek in Wiki history brings it up). She currently spends her days playing illicit three-card monte games in white supremacist opium dens, and begging for change when her refrigerator box residence becomes too soggy during the spring rains.

Eric Blumrich has also severed all ties with Furries. He now occupies himself with his website, Bushflash.com, and playing silly video games well into the wee hours. He has been honored as the inventor of the "Do It Yourself Attack Ad" by The New York Times, received the "Excellence in Photojournalism" award by the National Association of Muslim Women, and was a finalist in the "Bush in 30 seconds" competition, hosted by MoveOn.org.

After being invited to speak at George Washington University's Institute for Policy and Democracy on the Internet several times, He found politics to be even more disturbing than fat, sweaty fanboys porking mutilated teddy bears, and is working to hand Bushflash over to its visitors.

Burned Furs II[edit]

This ill-advised movement appeared in mid 2006, with the major attention whore and troll Lj-favicon.png Ashmcairo at the controls. In December 2007 its name changed to "Improved Anthro", although the group still links to and makes use of the Burned Fur logo, founding documents, and general sense of total cluelessness. Improved Anthro has since spawned several other projects, such as Furryne.ws, Furry101, and FurryGamers, all similarly tainted with the Burned Fur stigma.

In honor of Burned Fur's tenth anniversary, compulsive liar and all-around wingnut furfag Lj-favicon.png Roycalbeck credited Something Awful and Encyclopedia Dramatica with "improving" furry fandom by making fun of it. As a result, the general consensus is that the Improved Anthro is merely another pathetic plea for attention from Ashmcairo.

Links[edit]

Abandoned
Abandoned-at-at.jpg

Burned Fur is about someone or something that has been left to rot on the internets forever.


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