Buzzboard

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Buzzboard index page
Typical Buzzboard member

The Buzzboard is the king of all drama generating forums found all over the Internets. It is centered around a Washington, DC raver production company called Buzzlife. There are many flame wars on the Buzzboard daily, but on the weekends it dies down. This is because everyone who uses the Buzzboard only does so at work. However, the occasional alcohol fueled tirade on a weekend isn't entirely uncommon. Also, reliable research has revealed that almost every person among the 13,000 members of this forum is a basement-dweller.

Mods[edit]

The moderators are:

The mods of the Buzzboard were once looked up to for their dilligence in moderating the forums. On November 18, 2006, the Buzzboard superadmin accidentally made the mod forum public for a brief period of time, and registered users caught a glimpse at reported "shit talking" that goes on in said room. The specific forum is now hidden, but the threads discussing it are here and here.


Mod Drama Printouts![edit]

As mentioned above and below, the moderator "digital vip room" was accidentally opened to all users for about thirty minutes. Internet lawyers from Maryland, Virginia and DC swarmed to get copies of these legal documents. While no digital copy was retained, a hard copy of some threads was obtained by ED detectives, which have been transcoded back into digital format for lulz archiving.

[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]

The Great Buzzboard Shutdown of 2008[edit]

oh noes!!!
BaltimoreBeats
Steez Promo
Utopium.net

Hosting issues have caused the Buzzboard to go down many times over the year. In October 2008, the Buzzboard went down and did not come back up. Several "backup" boards have popped out to take its place.

Baltimore Beats[edit]

BaltimoreBeats.com - I can't say shit about it because it won't let me log in for some reason.

DCRaves[edit]

Has not been a game-changer since 2002, or so I'm told. Highlight of the last 24 hours was when three different members promised cock pix if Obama wins Virginia, Obama loses Virginia, or capitalism doesn't fall respectively. A fourth member promised to post cock pix regardless of the scenario.

Steez Promo[edit]

SteezPromo.com is a competing promotion company based in Baltimore. The owners delete any mention of any other board.

Utopium[edit]

utopium.net - Local photographer "Utopium" set up a message board with the explicit purpose of giving the regulars somewhere to post until Buzzboard comes back. This has been the defacto buzzboard placeholder and has beend dubbed "buzzboard.nat" after the site's owner.

As soon as utopium.net established itself as the main board for buzzboarders, the owner lay forth extremely strict rules, such as "no discussion of politics or religion" and "no conspiracy theories".

Scott Henry response[edit]

Buzzboard owner Scott Henry posted a message using his Apple Macbook:

To the Buzzlife Community,
A brief sabbatical is what the doctor ordered and who am I to argue with a professional? I certainly could not have predicted the massive amount of speculation, concern and rumors that resulted from laying low for a couple of months.
Just to clear up the rumor mill:
  1. I have not been admitted to a mental ward
  2. I did not move from the DC area
  3. I did not die of a drug overdose nor am I in jail
  4. I did not kill the Buzz Message-board
  5. I did not lose my love for the music or the people.
Stay tuned, the Buzz message-board will return shortly, along with the new BuzzBlog where you will be hearing from me on a regular basis.
Scott Henry
alive and kickin’

Choice responses from Steez Promo included:

  • "i dont remember anybody asking about scott henry cuz its 2008......"
  • "buzz parties went downhill when they started booking at those whack clubs in dc anyway. yea they might be cool if u got a silk shirt or u want to buy a table but thats not what people want. they want good parties with good music. i know bmore is alive and kicking with the freshest parties thx to steve and evan."
  • "he looks like a dildo."

Reading Tips[edit]

Some Buzzboard reading tips for your reading pleasure:

  • Beware of reading some of the regular posters comments, as it might cause you to incessantly roll your eyes at your computer monitor.
  • Take note of the multiple genre-segregated music "discussion" forums, which are actually just extensions of the off-topic/waffle forum (much the same as every other forum on the board). If one is feeling overly masochistic they can head to the "IN YO' FACE DRUM n BASS forum, where one can take in meaningful discussions such as "techstep or gtfo" or "did you hear that new handbag-step track High Contrast played?"
  • If you are not PLURRING while reading, you are doing it wrong.

Buzzboard-specific acronyms[edit]

Buzzboard has spawned several buzzboard-specific acronyms, with corresponding smilies:

Examples of Drama[edit]

The board administrators tend to lock down drama and move dramatica threads to The Classics for us and our posterity. Some examples include:

  • Whelp! I Must Away - User "Chicago" says farewell to Washington, DC. User known simply as "bitch" says "GOOD RIDDANCE" and sparks a 14-page, 523-post thread about how much everyone hates "Chicago". A user later commented, "that thread really unified us in ways that rarely happen".
  • The Betrayed Series - you have to read it to believe it. [1] [2] [3] [4]
  • OMFGLMFAO - Buzzboard admin accidentally makes the mod forum public for approximately 30 minutes. Various users make hard copies, guaranteeing future lulz.
  • Va's Finest - one user asks why everyone hates the drum and bass/breakbeat crew known as "Va's Finest". Apparently the reason a lot of people don't like them is because they aren't the finest, and the DJs are insulted by this. Or something. This continued to part 2, and generated a response from one of Va's Finest members.
  • Dobbs - A pedophile who was once a well respected member of the DC rave scene was busted. See offical Fairfax police report here.
  • Cupcake Drama - Katrina and Laura made cupcakes, Ian thanked the makers of the treats as a guise to diss Katrina. Lulz and drama ensued.
  • Controlling partner, please tell me im not alone. Im scared - no drama, but a very good rofl read.
  • Vote for your favorite breaks DJ - a poll for Buzzlife's NYE party asks people to vote for their favorite breaks DJ. "Jill T", a member of the freeform dj collective, climbs to second place despite only getting two gigs. "Daniella Downs", who received double the amount of votes as Jill, gets upset and forfeits. The drama starts around post #300 I think.
  • Petition for Dubstep to have its own section on the board - Dubstep aficionados do not want to be considered a subforum of "off the beaten path", petition for their own forum on the board.
  • The "Man Talk" Thread - Amazing
  • The Real Djx aka "Icy The Clown", aka Evan Graham - Evan Graham, a clown-for-hire and epic trance DJ, plays out in the parking lot of Starscape. It is so hilarious that everyone wants to see him play again for the lulz. Eventually, Evan finds out about the thread and starts replying to threads.
  • KLarge2008 - a Baltimore promoter and founder of K Large Productions, tries to throw a massive event. After not receiving payment, one of the headliners from the UK signs on to the board to call her out. Everyone laughs at her.
  • deja vu the most intelligent buzzboard thread ever.
  • Fall Massive thread -- Steez Promo (mentioned above) threw a party that got shut down by the fire marshal for being over capacity. Drama starts around post 363 when news hits that the party is over. As usual for Buzzboard, the top poster in the thread did not attend the event.

External Links[edit]

Featured article November 24, 2006
Preceded by
Fetal Alcohol Syndrome
Buzzboard Succeeded by
Torpark
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