CISPA

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CISPA in a nutshell.

Do you hate internet freedom? Are you pissed SOPA got shot down by those hipsters? Good news! The American government has just the thing for you! CISPA (also known as H.R. 3523, The Cyber Intelligence Sharing and Protection Act, and SOPA MK II Electric Boogaloo) is the newest great idea shat out by the man in Washington currently awaiting approval in the House Senate.

History[edit]

In November, 2011, when all the cool kids were trying to get their internet censorship bills pushed through the House and Senate, Republican and professional asshat Michael Rogers of Michigan decided it would be a good idea to write his own bill to control who looks at what porn, and apparently didn't get the memo that his buddy Lamar Smith caused a complete clusterfuck and shitstorm with his bill until it got completely cockblocked altogether.

Essentially what he's trying to do allow any company who claims to be promoting "internet security" (think AT&T) to not only track and monitor what any end user does on the internet, but do it without a warrant or even reason to believe said person is a threat (which even the Patriot Act required) and not only masturbate to the pictures of your little sister, but then also turn the information over to Glorious Mother America so that they can prosecute you. If that wasn't crazy enough, this bill also grants the corporations who give out your information immunity from civil lawsuits.

Totally reliable Russia Today report on it

THIS JUST IN[edit]

The fucking thing passed the House of Representatives. Break out the tinfoil hats!

NEW PROVISIONS[edit]

Previously, this bill only allowed your privacy to be violated under the vaugeness of "cybersecurity."It's now been confirmed that the final bill passed by the congress specifies three ways for your privacy to be violated:

1. investigation and prosecution of cybersecurity crime
2. protection of individuals
3. protection of children

Anonymous Fights Back[edit]



See also[edit]

External Links[edit]

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CISPA

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Featured article April 29 & 30, 2012
Preceded by
Heidi Crowter
CISPA Succeeded by
Gingerslap